We had semi-high hopes for the video for Britney Spears’ “Piece of Me.” Given its reputation as the standout track on Blackout, its placement as the background music during the confrontation between Lauren and Spencer’s sister on The Hills and its anti-paparazzi theme, we thought for sure this was the song to propel Spears back to the top of the TRL charts — or at least help Blackout go gold (and draw attention away from Brit’s wig-shoplifting tendencies). With a call time of 8 AM, the “Piece of Me” video was set to shoot at L.A. nightclub Social Hollywood. The premise was simple but appropriate: Spears and four faux-Spears parade around while the paparazzi stalk them. Sort of like real life, except five Spears in real life would make the universe collapse.

The fake Spears were dressed and ready to roll, the fake paparazzi had their cameras loaded. Only one problem: Britney was a no-show. Not for a couple hours; a dozen hours. One fake Britney became discouraged and some left the set, forcing production to be halted as they scrambled to find new fake Britneys, even though production was halted anyway because they still didn’t have a real Britney. Finally, at 8:35 PM, Spears decided to grace the crew with her presence. Shooting went on all night until 5 AM the next morning, meaning some crew members worked on set twenty-one consecutive hours.

In other Spears news, reports that she was harboring the love child of producer J.R. Rotem in her womb have been denied by all camps, despite In Touch magazine’s cover story that quotes Rotem as saying Brit is fostering yet another embryo. In a text message to Ryan Seacrest (who else?), a friend of Britney says “It’s BS, don’t know who made it up. Completely fake.” That’s a relief. One custody battle to cover is enough.