Korn guitarist Munky stopped by the office yesterday to test his music knowledge on Rolling Stone’s Almost-Impossible Rock & Roll Quiz. “This is hard. Nobody told me it would be this hard,” Munky proclaimed from our cubicle computer, three questions into the exam. Almost every question on the Rock SATs inspired a hilarious explanation from Munky, but here’s a short list:

• Question eleven, which asked which one of Jerry Garcia’s fingers was partially severed, resonated with Munky, as the guitarist is also missing a sizable chunk of his right ring finger as a result of a gory motorcycle incident that gets us nauseous. Long story short, the severed digit and a doctor’s recommendation to pick up an instrument helped lead Munky to the guitar. Despite his kinship to the question, Munky answers it incorrectly.

• On Question forty-eight, “Steven Seagal movie or Tupac Shakur posthumous album,” Munky utilizes his lifeline, calling his mountainous bodyguard over to the cubicle. “He’s an expert on Tupac,” Munky boasts. Black Dawn? “Seagal,” the muscle responds assuredly. Loyal to the Game? “Shakur, definitely Shakur.” Urban Justice? A pause. The bodyguard puts on the thinking cap. “Tupac,” he chooses after much deliberation. (Wrong buzzer!) As any Seagalite would know, Urban Justice is the martial-arts star’s newest film. Forty-eight goes in the “incorrect” column, and the lifeline is wasted.

• Munky’s ability to guess is unparalleled, as he rolls off four consecutive correct answers (number thirty-four through thirty-seven) despite not knowing what any of the questions even mean. “There was a time when I used to know all this stuff,” Munky insists, “but we figured out one year of touring equals five years in normal human years.”

• Question fifty-one comes easy to Munky, as he was a witness to the answer. “During a 1993 Lollapalooza gig, Rage Against the Machine appeared onstage naked with four letters written on their chests?” “PMRC,” he announces without hesitation and clicks the correct answer. “I was at that concert. It was outside of L.A. They were protesting against Tipper Gore wanting to put ‘explicit lyrics’ stickers on CDs.”

• In the end, Munky crippled our workflow for nearly an hour, taking forty-five minutes to tractor through our fifty-eight-question exam (granted, we distracted him quite a bit). So how did he score? A solid twenty-seven, good enough to be designated a “Whiz,” even though “he should spend more time reading liner notes,” according to the quiz. “I think a need a shot of whiskey,” Munky announced after receiving his grade, nearly sweating as he peeled himself out of our rolly chair. Another test-taker, another victim. Check out how Howard Stern did on the test here, and see how you fare on our Almost-Impossible Rock & Roll Quiz here.
  

[Photo: Natalie Zfat]