
Billy Corgan loves this country. He doesn’t just love this country, he LOVES this country!! (The exclamation points his, not ours). In an enormous blog (or as BC calls it “Blob”) post on the Smashing Pumpkins Web site, Corgan waxes poetic about everything from Uncle Sam living in a timeshare in Trinidad to Epcot Center in Orlando to why his band doesn’t play that many Siamese Dream songs in concert. In a mere 1,156 words, Corgan manages to say everything and nothing at the same time in a bizarro stream-of-consciousness blur that would rival James Joyce’s Ulysses were it a tad more, you know, literary.
Making the labyrinthine post more confusing is the strange visual aids Corgan intersperses throughout the text. A picture of the Statue of Liberty in a snow globe (a nod to Zeitgeist’s cover?), a twenty-four minute YouTube video about Disneyland, and a photo of the puck commemoratively being dropped before an empty Colorado Avalanche/Phoenix Coyotes hockey game. Corgan does make momentary sense when he confronts a fan’s question regarding the lack of Siamese Dream songs on the setlist, to which Corgan replies: “’this is not a reunion tour’ … if one was to listen to Siamese Dream from a particular perspective, you might hear me at age 25 or so struggling with how to escape my past! How ironic that that same struggle should now become part of my current struggle for autonomy … the current SP is designed to live on happily, strongly, proudly, and boldly…there is no other way that I can see to water the flowers properly … we choose life, and the love of the moment for the song we choose to sing …” Which is roughly Corgan-speak for: we’re not playing Siamese songs because we’re on tour promoting Zeitgeist. You had ample time to purchase Siamese, now go buy our new one.
But wait, it gets stranger. Corgan proudly tells those still reading that “God talks to me,” putting himself in the same weight class as Jesus, evangelists and all those haggard guys we see on the subway. He then somehow attempts to make his point with these two consecutive sentences: “God does not want any of us to be unhappy, or to mourn for that which has no meaning … thanks to digital media, many of us can and will be remembered in perpetuity by an unseen future, but they probably won’t bother to watch … ” Umm, yeah. Thankfully, the ranting ends with the David Lee Roth-ian quote “We may not always be what you want, but we do have what you need!” What we really need is a nap after reading that blog.

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