Every week on Celebrity Rap Superstar, an odd mixture of C-list stars test their skills (or lack thereof) on the mic, while Rock Daily’s Rock Reality Show Recaps of the series test our skills at analyzing some really awful hip-hop. Here’s our seventh report:
Sixty Minutes in Four Sentences: After Sebastian Bach left the stage and the competition with the lowest amount of votes, Shar Jackson and K-Dubs (that’s Playboy bunny Kendra Wilkinson) squared off in a triple-threat of categories: Hip-Hop Anthem, Hip-Hop Classic (chosen by viewers) and Original Song. For the first two Shar performed “Get Ur Freak On” and “Bust a Move” while Kendra brought back the now familiar stripper karaoke performing “Hot in Herre” in a non-shirt and the voter-chosen (American knows no subtlety) “Baby Got Back.” For the original tracks, the contestants enlisted the help of producer Mr. Collipark (who has worked with Ying Yang Twins and Soulja Boy) for beats. In “Epiphany,” a title she had trouble pronouncing, Kendra came clean about a life of drugs and how she found salvation in her present mansion (”When the sky turns gray/It’s okay”) while Jackson wrote a bouncy party anthem titled “Let it Blow.”
8-Mile Moment: Shar mopped the floor once again with all three of her performances. For the “Hip-Hop Classic” category, America gave her the unfortunate choice of Young MC’s “Bust a Move.” But Shar managed to melt the stigma of the song while enticing DMC to call her “the best part of the whole evening” and even labeled her not really a contestant. She also flowed through her Missy Elliott’s track and with the assistance of Mr. Collipark spat an original party jam containing not the first Britney reference of the season: “They should have had me up in there at the VMAs.”
Hip-Hop Hilarity: Sebastian gave as much badditude while exiting the stage as he did performing on it. Forever handicapping Skid Row record sales in Red-state America, his first response to defeat at the polls was, “I just want to say: America — you suck!” He then went to plug his new album, Angel Down, which comes out in November and features Axl Rose, and did an impromptu rendition of “Black Betty” with DMC. Bach also said a few touching words about his mentor Kurupt, a now best friend who always has his “Bach.” But Bach could never say his goodbyes to his old genre, and the most telling behind the scenes Bachism was this: “When someone tells me I’m rocking too hard, inside I’m going ‘Fucking right I’m rocking too hard.’ ”
The Final Verse: The two remaining female MCs finished their threesomes with the judges clearly favoring the in-house teacher’s pet, Shar Jackson. But as you can see by the disparity of skill left in the final two contestants, this competition is a true democracy, not a meritocracy, and next week’s victor is anyone’s guess. The ousted Bach unleashed the head bang in one final rock rap (a song so perfect for him it’s a wonder it didn’t surface earlier in the competition) “Fight for Your Right to Party” by the Beastie Boys. Next week we’ll find out who is the final Celebrity Rap Superstar in a reunion episode with guests Naughty by Nature and the return of all the former contestants including the one and only Bahler Wahler. We knew something was missing.
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- Portions of Album Content Provided by All Music Guide © 2009 All Media Guide, LLC.
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