The Smoking Section is not too lofty a venue to turn down some sweet rock & roll gossip.

Unbeknownst to us, there has been a certain rumor spreading on the Net and elsewhere that Kid Rock has recently indulged in sexual acts with our hero, Paris Hilton. People, this is false information. In lieu of putting out a press release, Mr. Rock issued the following statement to the Smoking Section: “I regret to inform all of you on and offline tabloid junkies that I am not dating nor have been intimate with Paris Hilton. However, I would CONSIDER a one-night stand if heavy drinking were involved.” Rock will hit Vegas tomorrow for the VMAs, another opportunity to beat the drum for his upcoming release. “Rock N Roll Jesus hits stores October 9th worldwide. Thank you for your support.” The S.S. has heard the album, and we predict it will return Rock to the throne.