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Rock Reality Show Recap: Bret Michaels’ Poison Superfans Sniff Out Phonies on “Rock of Love”

9/4/07, 9:26 am EST

Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love, while Rock Daily searches for ways to reference “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” in our Rock Reality Show Recaps. Here’s our take on episode eight:

Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Three Sentences: Bret decides to judge the remaining five women the best way he knows how: by having three of his “superfans” — all of whom began their Poison devotion in the Nineties or later — interrogate them (and make out with them) to sniff out the phonies. Sam cracks under the pressure, Brandi M. and Lacey get pissed off, and Jes and Heather perform like champs. The three ladies who aren’t in the Heather/Lacey alliance also take this opportunity to tell anybody and everybody who will listen that Lacey is batshit insane.

Did Every Rose Have Its Thorn?: Hell to the yes! During her questioning, Lacey was asked to perform any of Michael’s songs. And you know which one she chose to warble off-key …

The Most Ridiculous Part: Heather (or the drag queen masquerading as Heather this episode) wins the interrogation challenge and Bret puts her to the test during their solo date by seeing if she’ll make good on her promise to get his name tattooed on the back of her neck (you know, despite the fact that they’re not really dating, have only known each other for a few weeks, and may not wind up together in the end). She was a tad squeamish (and more than a tad drunk), but she did it.

The Rockin’ Finish: Sam wavered once again, deciding to pack her bags, then changing her mind and vowing to stick it out. But despite the girls’ Herculian efforts to get Lacey booted, Michaels decides he’s had enough of Sam’s should-I-stay-or-should-I-go schtick (and not enough ratings). So he goes against his superfans’ recommendation to jettison the hated redhead, sending sensitive Sam back to life in New York.


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Comments

Sam Roberts | 9/4/2007, 10:57 am EST

Does this over-the-hill, “D List” musician really think these women (who are young enough to be his daughters) would be interested in him in the real world?!

gg | 9/4/2007, 11:22 am EST

I think Sam was too good for him & did u see the look on his face after he kissed Sam goodbye? i think he is regretting his mistake big time HA

Anna Marie | 9/4/2007, 11:26 am EST

Brett is so full of himself. His comment that he let Sam go because the pressure that she would feel dating him would be worse in the real world was so bogus. A real man protects his lady and does not subject her to a contest with catty group of women, whose pinnacle moment in life is to say “I slept with a rock star”.

Also, why does Brett constantly wear a hat and/or sharf? Male-pattern baldness?

Brett needs to realize that it is no longer the 1980’s. Cut the hair and if you have talent, then develope a new sound. Glamrock is so passe.

pj | 9/4/2007, 11:33 am EST

I guess he can slways do this again every 2 years and just trade up, that way he never has to conform to reality himself. When he gets older he can get his daughters life coaches so they can learn that a woman is worth something.

sll | 9/4/2007, 12:41 pm EST

Okay someone explain to me was I wrong in thinking that the “superfan” chicks were basically telling Sam that Brett is so bad in bed that she will have to get her fake “O” game face on with apparently lots of practice to make sure she stokes his fragile and delicate ego? Oh wait this IS a reality show and they were talking about what it takes to get some guys. I forgot. So good advice ladies – kiss other girls for show and fake those orgasms and you’ll be lonely no more!

cheech | 9/4/2007, 12:51 pm EST

I Think no I know that Brett is great :) Love the music and have for many many many years!!! 15 years LOL
But I really fell Brett has the best lady of them all His ex the mother of his kids!
That’s who he should be with not these little girls! and sure not Heather what does he want Vanilla Ice’s left over ??????? LOLOLOL that would be funny or a little girl Jess shit she deserves better then that or Lacy Hell no that would just mean Brett his a dumb A@@ and sick in the head. and the other one no don’t think so He needs to fight for his ex! that would be good to see:)
Cheech

Porn man | 9/4/2007, 12:54 pm EST

Well Its funny that everyone is talking about sam but she was alittle messed up in the head Don’t you think? and well some one needs to kick that freakin girl Lacey off the show she acts like a teenager sometimes and well getting on my nerves. And another thing god bless heather as she is so freakin hot…and those outfits she wears are awsome….much love girl.

Gina | 9/4/2007, 12:55 pm EST

I think Bret is awesome! still georgeous as ever, loving and deeply caring. Bret you rock my world!
And I would love to see him with Jess in the end!

rae dawn | 9/4/2007, 1:10 pm EST

WHY is this still a topic?

jessica | 9/4/2007, 1:16 pm EST

I really would like to see bret with Jess in the end. I cant belive he picked that STUPID BITCH LACEY OVER SAM!!!! Dumb! When she trys to kill you i bet youll think about that kiss again!! haha

Porn man | 9/4/2007, 1:28 pm EST

Yeah Jess is my second pick and they would be good together but you know my first is heather so we will see what happens lol

Androvette | 9/4/2007, 2:16 pm EST

beat up women for a beat up “rock star”. sounds about right.

Arch | 9/4/2007, 2:44 pm EST

As much as I loved Sam i was glad she was gone for her own good – ontop of that she does not know how to stand up for herself and that is why she gets her heart broken. she’s not as well adjusted as Jes, if she were she would be #1.

while the girl that wins should be Jes, Bert will probably end up with Heather or Melanie. Coincidence that they’re both strippers? heh

Common_Sense | 9/4/2007, 2:46 pm EST

Lacey is without a doubt, the NASTIEST skank I have ever laid eyes on. The funniest thing is…look at her when she’s mad…does the word “Chucky” ring a bell??

http://msnbcmedia1.m sn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Phot os/041001/041001_chucky_vmed_3 p.widec.jpg

You KNOW that she’s responsible for at least half of the ratings for this “show”, which is why the producers “ensure” that she sticks around.

During her interview with the “Superfans”, I frickin’ died laughing when they got her psychotic a$$ to admit that she’s in therapy and on medication. REALLY, YOU THINK??

Can’t wait to see her go….and she will…book it.

tony montana | 9/4/2007, 3:28 pm EST

Hey Bret Fans, SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND . . .SFX: machine gun fire . . . da-da-da-da-da-da-da

tony montana | 9/4/2007, 3:50 pm EST

Hey RS, you emasculated my machine gun!

peterpotamous | 9/4/2007, 4:22 pm EST

Good show,despite me not being a Poison fan;
i agree with the comment about Lacey being a skank,as well as being VERY manipulative…and crazy!
Brandi M is cool
Heather can look real good,but can look pretty scary,too.Seems like Bret’s type
I like Jess the best,despite her resemblance to CC DeVille!!!

fancypants | 9/4/2007, 7:24 pm EST

I for one have never been a Poison fan and never will be, but this show is brilliant! You can say what you want about Bret Michaels. Yes, he is a narcisists despite of his friendliness. He is also a business man. This show is not about getting girls; it’s about making money. What can be more entertaining than watching a bunch of ho-bags grovel for a guy who is too old for them. Besides I highly doubt he has a hard time finding women even with hair extentions. Luv ya BM, but you aren’t fooling anyone.

Rock & Roll Mamacita | 9/4/2007, 10:05 pm EST

I think Bret made a HUGE mistake by letting Sam go. Even though she was emotional, that girl was a gem! She and Jes are the only women there that have a soul and that I truly believe are looking for love, not 15 minutes of fame. In looking at the big picture, if I were his ex, I wouldn’t want a stripper anywhere near my kids. Is he even thinking of that or just thinking with his, uh … member like most men! I just hope he picks Jes – she may be young, but is a class act and wise beyond her years – and absolutely stunning! And kudos for whoever said Lacey looks like Chucky when she gets mad! RIGHT ON~~~that girl is pure evil.

GarnerGirl | 9/4/2007, 11:11 pm EST

When the gals had to jump into filthy dumpsters hunting for a guitar pick and change into a sleezy outfit in a used and smelly port-o-potty — how humiliating! Would Bret do that for any woman? Still it’s hard to take your eyes off this show. Like a train wreck.

GarnerGirl | 9/4/2007, 11:11 pm EST

When the gals had to jump into filthy dumpsters hunting for a guitar pick and change into a sleezy outfit in a used and smelly port-o-potty — how humiliating! Would Bret do that for any woman? Still it’s hard to take your eyes off this show. Like a train wreck.

nothing's shocking | 9/4/2007, 11:29 pm EST

It’s only hype.

bevpbr | 9/4/2007, 11:45 pm EST

It will definitely say a lot about Bret when he makes his final choice. Does he prefer a sleaze,(Heather)?-a drunk (Brandi)?-a whack job (Lacey)?-or a classy chick(Jess)?–if he’s really looking for possibly love and a relationship of value, plus respect, obviously he’ll choose Jess–anyone else spells THORN!!!

androvette | 9/5/2007, 12:09 am EST

wouldn’t it be great if some guy posing as a singing telegram would pop a few caps in bret michael’s ass?

androvette | 9/5/2007, 12:10 am EST

i think the original version was much more dramatic

Brit | 9/5/2007, 8:36 am EST

I freakin love Lacey! She is hilarious and she gets the other girls so riled up…it’s the funniest thing…they’re all a bunch of skanks…and Jess get’s on my nerves with her whole “I’m better than you” attitude…I just like Lacey, because she keeps the show entertaining!

Tishlee | 9/5/2007, 8:40 am EST

They’re obviously all a little screwed up in the head or they wouldn’t be fighting over this has been. A house full of women all drooling over the same guy while he takes full advantage of all of them…every assholes dream

BentSunshine | 9/5/2007, 2:43 pm EST

I think this whole show is a put on. Bret would have to be crazy to think Lacey is sexy and beautiful. And what does it say about him if he actually has an attraction to her? Well, drugs DO kill brain cells!

Nichole Daisher | 9/5/2007, 2:53 pm EST

OMG!!! I freakin love you and i watch your show everytime i get the chance!!!

Anonymous | 9/5/2007, 8:09 pm EST

Bret,

Tish | 9/5/2007, 11:58 pm EST

heck- tell him he needs to go for older women with some brains like me! If I have to pick, so far Pinky Tuscadero would be the one. She sits back and observes the rest and seems to be the most stable. Hey Michaels, come to Oklahoma!!

mook | 9/6/2007, 8:04 am EST

i’m gayer than all get out and i’d do Jess! what a class act (albeit a groupie class act). i swear Heather is a drag queen i have seen before-God knows i have been to enough drag shows. and is it just me or is BM looking a bit rough?

demon_LADY_007 | 9/6/2007, 11:29 am EST

I’VE SEEN THE ROCK OF LOVE AND I SAY THE RED HAIR DEMON EYED BITCH HAS TO GO IF HE ENDS UP WITH HER I WILL SCREAM. I CAN’T STAND THAT GIRL SHE PAIN OUT EVIL AND THE STRIPER IS ANOTHER ONE THAT NEEDS TO GO I THINK HE NEEDS TO BE WITH BRANDY M. OR THE FORGIN GIRL

cooper | 9/6/2007, 12:07 pm EST

I was a big fan of Poison years ago, and just LOVED Bret Micheals. I actually met him at a concert once in Indianapolis. He has the sexiest eyes. But is he really looking for love? If so I would pick Jes. She doesnt seem desperate. She is really looking in to his soul. Heather is a wild looking rocker and maybe she could be the one, but does he want someone who is petty and runs and tells him gossip. Could drive him crazy. I think that Lacey is just there for ratings. I would hate to see someone kick her A@$ and get thrown off the show. She is crazy!!!! My pick is Jes, Thanks

kelly girl | 9/6/2007, 4:41 pm EST

i have to say that after watching the marathon all day long on sunday, I was totally hooked on what is going to happen next. I think Heather is sexy in her old 80’s has been look. And Jess is cute, but probably too young. I would like to see him pick Lacey so that the show will continue with a sequel. Think about it, Lacey and Bret’s fatal attraction episodes. It would be a train wreck that you just had to watch!!

Ashley | 9/7/2007, 4:12 am EST

Come on you have to be crazy to like Lacey shes a version of the devil and shes a bitch thats why Sam kept saying she wants to leave and wow the one where his poision superfans came and she was ”attempting” to cry when it was elimination that was just sad and pathetic and at the end she even said ”its amazing what a couple of tears can do” pathetic hoebag shes not right for Bret and if he picks her then wow… Who do I like out of all of them? Jes because shes smart,pretty and shes actually nice and I think Bret has ALOT in common with her && the two other girls Brandi && Heather are messed up come on Heather getting ”Bret” in the back of her neck? im gonna laugh so hard when Jes wins && she has that tattoo.

Ashley | 9/7/2007, 4:12 am EST

Come on you have to be crazy to like Lacey shes a version of the devil and shes a bitch thats why Sam kept saying she wants to leave and wow the one where his poision superfans came and she was ”attempting” to cry when it was elimination that was just sad and pathetic and at the end she even said ”its amazing what a couple of tears can do” pathetic hoebag shes not right for Bret and if he picks her then wow… Who do I like out of all of them? Jes because shes smart,pretty and shes actually nice and I think Bret has ALOT in common with her && the two other girls Brandi && Heather are messed up come on Heather getting ”Bret” in the back of her neck? im gonna laugh so hard when Jes wins && she has that tattoo.

Ashley | 9/7/2007, 4:12 am EST

Come on you have to be crazy to like Lacey shes a version of the devil and shes a bitch thats why Sam kept saying she wants to leave and wow the one where his poision superfans came and she was ”attempting” to cry when it was elimination that was just sad and pathetic and at the end she even said ”its amazing what a couple of tears can do” pathetic hoebag shes not right for Bret and if he picks her then wow… Who do I like out of all of them? Jes because shes smart,pretty and shes actually nice and I think Bret has ALOT in common with her && the two other girls Brandi && Heather are messed up come on Heather getting ”Bret” in the back of her neck? im gonna laugh so hard when Jes wins && she has that tattoo.

Gloria M | 9/7/2007, 10:27 pm EST

I’m sure its all about the money for Bret, and the girls should think it may get them some attention too. He basically has nothing to lose here and money to gain, but he’s already wealthy right? must be nice. I think he’s conceited but really I am addicted to the show and Jess would have my pick. Brandi is awesome. I cannot believe Heather would get the tattoo. Cant wait to see the next show.

Sterling | 9/9/2007, 5:20 pm EST

When asked by US Weekly if he found love on the show, he replied “I found 2 girls that I like alot”. Lacey does remind me of Chucky when shes mad! LOL! If he wants cute & sensible, I would vote for Jess, and get rid of Chucky and the drag queen.

Perspective | 9/10/2007, 1:49 am EST

Heather would completely fit into Bret’s world. She is older, more mature and understands his lifestyle. Jes is way too young! It wouldn’t be fair to her. She will eventually get bored and move on.

jessica2 | 9/10/2007, 6:08 pm EST

bret u must b nuts 2 keep that fake of a thing u call LACEY just go with jes she go’s great with u
and by the way bret ur unbelevibly hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mary | 9/11/2007, 12:54 am EST

Why oh why is the crazy chic lacey still there ? She is so ugly I want to puke. I figure she only on till the end is because she brings the drama. It really stays intresting because of her stupid petty chic shit. I promise ..no wait …I swear if she win’s I am so done with reality t.v.
Bret don’t let me down I know jess is the one and if not maybe you deserve lacey

Christy | 9/11/2007, 1:36 pm EST

ok, lets recap here..Lacey suffers from a condition called Narcissim. She is a classic example of an individual that is self absorbed, self centered and non empathetic and cold. She is NOT the right person for Bret Michaels in any way shape or form. I think that is pretty obvious. Heather probably in the end isn’t the best choice for him either. Especially since she does lie and scheme almost as bad as Lacey. Jess is the ONLY woman there that has displayed herself genuinely. She has shown class, humor and concern for the other girls when they were sick from drinking. I know she is younger but above all else she has behaved like an adult and shown kindness.

Jmich | 9/11/2007, 9:18 pm EST

Bring on the highly qualified gyno on to the show.
Heather looks like a he/she.
And Brett really ikes her
Scarry

deb | 9/13/2007, 9:04 pm EST

i think the show is like the rest of the reality shows (like there are so few to choice from)more drama, more rating, bigwigs are happy. Whoever Brett ends up with, its a set up for the next reality show…”The daily life of Brett and whoever, will they marry or are they happy? on and on and on……Makes more money in his pocket..smart man

deb | 9/13/2007, 9:04 pm EST

i think the show is like the rest of the reality shows (like there are so few to choice from)more drama, more rating, bigwigs are happy. Whoever Brett ends up with, its a set up for the next reality show…”The daily life of Brett and whoever, will they marry or are they happy? on and on and on……Makes more money in his pocket..smart man

courtney | 9/14/2007, 1:38 am EST

Well i love the show but i hate lacey!!!! PLEASE PICK JESS and that is all i got to say!!!

CAT WOMAN OF PUERTO RICO | 9/16/2007, 3:33 pm EST

I THINK ABOUT LACEY IT IS A BITCH, AND SHE WANT BRETT FOR HIS MONEY AND FAME, AND I WANT (YES) FOR HIM BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONLY ONE LEFT THAT APARENTLY IS HONEST.

christy | 9/17/2007, 2:08 am EST

Jess – run for your life! Obviously, if B. M. is preparing for Rock of Love 2, he isn’t sincere about finding love… just resurrecting his out-of-gas career. I do think he & Heather are 2 of a kind.

Karen | 9/17/2007, 11:35 am EST

I don’t know how Jes ended up with this group of women, she is far from a washed up HO like most of them. She may be young, but she is more rounded and put together than the older chics. If he doesn’t pick her and chooses that conniving stripper, he will ultimately let down alot of fans of the show. But if this is for real, then I guess he needs to pick the one he has more of a connection with. If he’s gonna throw the person away after the show is over – then pick heather. If he wants to bring someone home for his children to meet, then bring home Jes!

pam | 9/19/2007, 1:32 pm EST

I have a son and if he were to bring someone home like Jess I would be thrilled. The girl seems to be an absolute gem. Look past her age because that girl seems to be wise beyond it.

Aly Munoz | 9/19/2007, 4:30 pm EST

The show is awesome. Thank god the crazy bitch Lacey is out. She’s phsyco and the world hates her. Sorry bitch. But i do have to say I love Jess. Shes a great girl and I would be more than happy if I had a son who brought home a girl like Jess. Heather is an awesome girl too. I have nothing againts strippers and I dont think that theres anything wrong with that, I have repect for heather because I think shes very honet and just doesnt give a shit for what people say about her. both girls are great…

felicia | 9/20/2007, 1:42 am EST

i think bret should pick jess because shes is totally in to him and i am so glade the chucky girl(lacey) left and i cant stand heather who would really want a stripper to be his girlfriend come on now. u dont know if shes fakin or not and she looks like some 80’s freek get heather outa there go for jess

UPPERSTCLAIR,PA | 9/25/2007, 2:51 am EST

R.O.L is THE BEST trashy TV out there…It’s hilarious!! Here’s what I think:
Heather is just nasty looking actually I’d go as far as saying HIDEOUS & very well could be a MAN!
Lacey is a big MESS inside & out…watching her try to walk in heels is painful…and that hair color…wtf is she thinking…and that father…he was the cheesiest thing ever!!! Although I loved him for asking the question I have had on my mind…DOES BRET HAVE HAIR UNDER THOSE BANDANAS!?
Sam seemed not only fragile but sort of mentally ill… and her face looks like it’s had too much plastic surgery ver bleached hair…those roots were making ME mentally ill!
Jess is my favorite out of the final few…she seems like a very cool person…she has a cute little body…but why the clown hair??? I have to agree she DOES LOOK LIKE CC DEVILLE NOW THAT SOMEONE ON HERE MENTIONED IT…HA!!
Just my take…enjoy!!!

ASIA | 9/29/2007, 3:50 pm EST

HEATHER LOOKS LIKE A MAN.AND SHE HAS NO CHIN.SHE LOOKS LIKE A SEX CHANGE?I HOPE HE GOES WITH JES.

poisinous show | 9/30/2007, 10:58 pm EST

Bret M is gay because he did it with the HEATHER HE-MAN !

what | 10/10/2007, 12:08 am EST

bret what happen with you and jess why split so soon

Rob-Perth West Coast Australia | 12/21/2007, 9:56 pm EST

I am a huge poison fan and have really dug Rock of love. It has however been disappointing seeing Brett’s out of date attitude treating women like objects…poor Sam!! Shes the coolest rockin chick out of all of them…she’s class attitude and emotion all in one! What a shame it is …….. ‘Rolling the dice of his life’ !!!

Tiffany H | 3/19/2008, 4:32 pm EST

how can you have a deep relationship with someone completely shallow?

Priscilla | 3/29/2008, 1:37 am EST

I think the show is sooo freakin funny, I want to pee my pants. He wears so much make-up. How can any woman handle a man who wears more liner than her. The cat fights crack me up, they fight over him like he’s this prize trophy. He just enjoys it all I think, what guy wouldn’t? Here’s the chance of a life time. Many women to lust over all at once. Love does not exist on T.V. it’s all lust, and he has exactly what he wants, women who either are there for fame, or are just plane dumb and willing do whatever to impress him. The altimate dream world for most men. He was once a great musician, and now he has stooped low to make himself look like an @ss to many epople.

BETH | 4/13/2008, 6:21 pm EST

I LIKE THE WAY SAM WAS OUT WITH THAT LONG KISS AND SATISFIED. IT WAS NO A PLACE FOR HER AND MAYBE BRET DESERVE TO RETAIN LACEY, BEING SHE SO MEAN AND HYPOCRITE…

megan | 6/17/2008, 1:50 pm EST

i love your new show rock of love 2. are you still friends with the band.well anyway i have to go.later.p.s tell the band keep rockin

megan | 6/17/2008, 1:55 pm EST

I love your new show rock
of love 2.did you like daisy still after you you told her leave. well later .

Ann-Margaret | 4/6/2009, 4:53 pm EST

Bret your making a big mitake with the Rock of Love bus. you need a salid female who loves you for youself and loves your music and that is not who you have at the end of the 3rd season? I love you for these things and more. I did try to get to the clifton Park show but i had no driver? she backed out on me.I will keep trying to get to a consert in saritoga SPAC in the summer . I LOVE YOU BRET and I allways will.

HEY BRET | 5/5/2009, 6:56 pm EST

I LOVE YOUR SHOW!

michal - PL | 6/30/2009, 8:05 am EST

Jess the best and biutifull

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