Every week The Rock Life follows Los Angeles band Whitestarr as they attempt to make it in the music biz. But who’s following The Rock Life? We are! Here’s our fifth report:

Thirty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Four Sentences: Dancer Tony Potato has an unwavering commitment to being the most expendable member of a band currently in the twelfth minute of their fleeting fame. He loves Whitestarr so much that it got in the way of his assuredly well-paying day job — being a friggin’ attorney — and he subsequently got canned for not showing up to work after one too many sweaty nights of dancing like a goofus. Jobless, bored and petty as hell, Potato amplified his rivalry with Whitestarr assistant Bart Hendrikx, the only person possibly lower on the totem pole than “pudgy guy dancing on a box.” The two enter an epic battle of the hangers-on: The band puts Hendrikx’s production skills to the test by having him shoot a music video, and scrutinizes Potato’s comedy skills by booking him a stand-up gig at the Improv.

Most rocking moment: “A Ferrari scene with a bunch of chicks!” Well, one chick showed up at least for the band’s video shoot. Luckily the band phoned some friends and shoot was on. Hendrikx ultimately lost the contest due to his numerous bungles.
Least Rocking Moment: Potato’s boss watching him pack up his desk. And catching him in the middle of stealing a two-hole punch. However will he file his smooth moves?

Ass-Crack Count: Three: Cisco Adler’s rear (usually in the show more than the VH1 logo) made two appearances, plus a peek of a bathing-suit-clad Tony Potato’s potato.