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Rock Reality Show Recap: Bret Michaels Judges Sexy Album Covers on “Rock of Love”

8/27/07, 12:59 pm EST


Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love, while Rock Daily searches for ways to reference “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” in our Rock Reality Show Recaps. Here’s our take on episode seven:

Sixty Minutes in Three Sentences: While Bret hits the studio for some work on that solo album he likes to constantly remind us he’s making, he instructs the six remaining girls to shoot mock album covers. The team of Jes, Samantha and Lacey go for a super-sexy angel/devil motif; Mia, Heather and Brandi M. pick an old dude helping out a woman with a flat tire — which one do you think made Bret literally howl? And while Lacey continues her reign of bitchiness, the rest of the girls (save Heather) all tell Bret they think she’s a psycho.

Did Every Rose Have Its Thorn?: Shockingly, no! Maybe Michaels assumed we’d had our fill between last episode, the one before that, the one before that … and of course, his cameo on The Rock Life. We did have “Nothin’ But a Good Time” as Jes hopped on the back of his motorcycle for their solo date.
The Most Ridiculous Part: Heather and Brandi M. decide to do a photo shoot on their own to prove they can take a sexy snapshot. Here’s the nutty part: how does Bret not realize that Heather looks like an entirely different person without makeup? She’s the Dr. Jekyll and Tawny Kitaen of Rock of Love.

The Rockin’ Finish: It seemed like Michaels might put the girls out of their misery and take out demonic Lacey, but on the wise advice of his producers, he leaves her in the house for more ratings fun. Mia, who never really made an impact on, well, anyone, is the latest to be told “I Won’t Forget You” (not).


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Comments

bukowski | 8/27/2007, 6:54 pm EST

Where are all these psychotic women who write letters to Bret that he will never see?

DeAnna | 8/27/2007, 8:15 pm EST

Jes is the girl for bret
that is the no brainer
Lacy is trash and got to go!!!!!!!!!

bukowski | 8/27/2007, 8:28 pm EST

There they are!!!

Dawn | 8/27/2007, 9:05 pm EST

Clearly, it’s all about the ratings, but does Bret really want to find the love of his life or a PSYCHOTIC FREAK? If he picks Lacy then he deserves to have a life of hell!

Rayanna | 8/27/2007, 9:30 pm EST

Jess is the girl for brett,fun,young and out going,Lacey keeps it interesting though….

julie/from illonis | 8/27/2007, 10:26 pm EST

jes is clearly the one for bret all the others are trash especially lacey she is mean and evil.

bukowski | 8/27/2007, 10:58 pm EST

I hope whoever he picks puts an icepick in his eye! What a loss it would be to the rock and roll world! We’ll always remember Poison for songs like . . . like . . . like . . . You see what I mean? Icepick, baby, icepick!!!

melissa | 8/27/2007, 11:07 pm EST

Sam was my favorite, but now that we see she has some trust issues, Jes or Brandi are the ones for Bret. LACI HAS GOT TO GO!!

bukowski | 8/27/2007, 11:27 pm EST

I can predict ARMAGEDDON on this

thread and these dumb horny

chicks would still be kafetching

about who’s this three time

loser’s going to end up with!!!

I wish I had a bubble brain for

one day. It must be great!!!

I'm not Cordelia | 8/28/2007, 12:41 am EST

I will not be there.

Stax | 8/28/2007, 3:21 am EST

Brandi M or Jes, Lacy is clearly a mental case psycho freak, and Sam is way too untrusting, Mia is just kinda there, Heather looks like a drag queen Good luck Bret!

Dawn | 8/28/2007, 12:42 pm EST

I agree that Jess is the girl for Bret! He better watch his back with Lacey and Brandi!

I wish I could have auditioned for his affections! He is heaven on this earth!

HOLLY | 8/28/2007, 1:20 pm EST

JES IS THE GIRL FOR BRETT
CHECK OUT THE LEO PROJECT ON MY SPACE THEY ROCK

PHANTOM POWER | 8/28/2007, 3:19 pm EST

I would love to smash this guy in the face with a golf club 30 or 40 times !!!

bret_girl_14 | 8/28/2007, 7:39 pm EST

none of them are good for bret!
first of all the dudes diabectic
and all these girls do is drink!
he needs somebody that’s going to take care of him!

oh yea Samantha, Heather, and Lacey gotta go!!!
sams to emotional and i hate her!!

Trace | 8/28/2007, 8:20 pm EST

Bret is a cool person…was lucky to hang out with him last summer with some friends…this show is interesting but does not do any justice for who he is….if he were to connect with one of these girls it’s got to be Jess…she’s true…

Sky | 8/28/2007, 9:10 pm EST

he has to pick jess. i think shes there for the right reasons. and lacey is a psycho bitch. i mean she seems there for bret but she doesnt show her true side to him. and heather and her are always talking smack about the other girls but never say anything about themselves. sam is too sensative. so its got to be jess!!!

bretslady | 8/28/2007, 9:38 pm EST

I have always loved Bret Michaels and I love this show but I can see a real connection between him and Jess and I really hope she takes the cakes away from Lacey Jesus I had that B.

linda | 8/28/2007, 10:05 pm EST

I believe in karma and LACY is just bad karma just a real ugliness about her inside and out so I really hope Bret Michaels comes thru for all and tells that evil person where to go. HE is sooo much better then that dont stoop that low for rating Mr. Michaels!!!! love ya

AC | 8/28/2007, 10:38 pm EST

Jess looks too much like a female version of CC for him to pick her!

Jenny | 8/28/2007, 11:05 pm EST

I love Lacy being on the show, it definatly would not be half as interesting with her gone, I will be bored to death without the drama. Watching her is one of the reason’s I tune in weekly. Jess is a good pick love pick, but too boring for tv.

Boncoasu | 8/28/2007, 11:29 pm EST

MAKE BRET WATCH WHAT HAPPENS WITH LACY. SHE HAS TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!

Peaches | 8/28/2007, 11:31 pm EST

I think Jess is
good for bret they look realy
good together. Lacy and heather
need to go.They only there
for t.v………B….
I Love Bret!!!!!!

Amanda | 8/29/2007, 5:38 am EST

I can’t stand Lacey or Heather! They both need to go. Lacey has this attitude that she’s the best thing ever, that she’s so much better than the other girls. Her attitude makes her very ugly! She’s way to cocky! I think Jess should go all the way. They really have a connection!! Sam is cute, but the chemistry is so much stronger with Jess.

never there | 8/29/2007, 9:17 am EST

WHY this tv show, and why the jealous comparisons? The cat-fighters are still at it.

Lynn | 8/29/2007, 12:31 pm EST

Lacey is crazy,
bradi and heather are airheads and weren’t they both strippers and as for sam and jess its kinda a tie but i think he should pick jess just because sam is kinda too emotional and if he wants to deal with that hes kinda crazy but it beats picking lacey to psycho

Joey | 8/29/2007, 3:15 pm EST

Heather is absolutely gross. The only plus is that by keeping her on the show, I don’t have to see her on dollar beer night at the local strip club, “The Old and Skanky Wh*re Depot”

Katy | 8/29/2007, 4:21 pm EST

Lacey make me wanna throw up she is soo gross, and i think jess is way hott and real and he should deff.. be with her
xo

Kayla | 8/29/2007, 4:54 pm EST

You guys are crazy. Lacey is the coolest girl on that show and the only one with a little personality. So, he’s a total idiot if he doesn’t pick her.

Cin | 8/29/2007, 5:03 pm EST

I think Bret should pick Jess.I used to like Lacey but shes just straight up psycho!Heather looks like a man and shes a backstabber.I like Sam but I dont think he will pick her and Brandi,shes ok I guess.

Marie | 8/29/2007, 5:49 pm EST

Bret is so sexy to me..lacy is way to psycho and manipulative I think she has double personalities, jes is my favorite, and sam is my second favorite ya she has issues but she is true and genuine

intermission | 8/29/2007, 6:12 pm EST

WHY this tv show, and why the jealous comparisons? The cat-fighters are still at it.

Criket | 9/3/2007, 1:33 pm EST

I think Brett should pick Jess!
Lacy is two-faced whore, Brandi is hott, sam is a emotional reck (shes gone now), heather is a big boobed bimbo!, and My vote is
Jess-100%
Brandi-75%
Heathe r-50%
Lacy-….

TANYA | 9/3/2007, 9:05 pm EST

I THINK THA RED HEADED GURL SHOULD WHATEVER AND THA REST R HOES ANYWAYZ SO IT DOESN’T MATTER!!!!!!!

LIN-Z | 9/3/2007, 9:09 pm EST

WHATEVER HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS AND IF DOING A HOE IS HIS IDEA OF FUN THEN LET HIM DO IT (HER). IT DOESN’T MATTER IT’S JUST FOR RATINGS AND MONEY.

MelanieT | 9/4/2007, 1:07 am EST

I def think that Jes is the one for him. She is the only normal level headed one who would actualy take care of him!!! the only one who is not trashy! Barndi is my second one beacuse well she just cracks me up! Heather would be ok if she was not such a bimbo!! does anyone wear those clothes or their hair like that anymore! I dont think soo! Lacy is just straight up crazy and evil. I really feel bad for Sam becuase i loved her but she was really emotional!

peaches | 9/9/2007, 4:06 pm EST

Pick Jes..The other two… Lacey and Heather definitely have issues. I wish I was on that show !!! What a Babe Bret is !!!! WOW !!!!

Steph | 9/9/2007, 7:55 pm EST

Heather and Bret are both attractive, long haired blondes, from the 80’s, in the same age group (she seems older than 32), both free-spirited and when they kiss, their bellies touched. They have the same body type and look alike. If he didn’t like her, he should not have kept her complaining that she is a stipper or dancer because he knew that from the start. Heather put herself through college and he is not college educated, so she has one on him. My brother remembers him from the 80’s and thinks he is really about 48, not 44. Jes may seem best, but she has an entire life in front of her at 23 to be hanging out with a divorced father of two children. Jes is young enough to be Bret’s daughter if he married young. Heather – the young generation puts you down, but keep on!

Steph | 9/9/2007, 7:55 pm EST

Heather and Bret are both attractive, long haired blondes, from the 80’s, in the same age group (she seems older than 32), both free-spirited and when they kiss, their bellies touched. They have the same body type and look alike. If he didn’t like her, he should not have kept her complaining that she is a stipper or dancer because he knew that from the start. Heather put herself through college and he is not college educated, so she has one on him. My brother remembers him from the 80’s and thinks he is really about 48, not 44. Jes may seem best, but she has an entire life in front of her at 23 to be hanging out with a divorced father of two children. Jes is young enough to be Bret’s daughter if he married young. Heather – the young generation puts you down, but keep on!

sexy baby | 9/12/2007, 2:07 pm EST

i thinck you should pick heather shee is right for you

Michelle Blue | 9/28/2007, 2:50 am EST

I HAVE WATCHED THIS SHOW FROM THE VERY START, AND I KNEW THAT HEATHER WOULD BE IN TOP TWO! AND DAMN IF SHE IS NOT GONNA WIN THIS THING. HEATHER AND BRET BELONG TO GETHER..SO MUCH CHEMISTRY, AND SHE REALLY LOVES HIM SO MUCH. HER PARENTS ARE COOL AS HELL AND THATS WHY BRET GOT THE PARENTS THERE. THEN HE WAS ABLE TO SEE THE NEST THESE CHICKS FELL FROM. LACY IS A 2-FACED, BACKSTABBING HO, JESS IS FAKE AND PLAYS ON EVERYONE ELSES BAD HAPPENINGS WHEN SOMEONE FUCKS UP AND GETS DRUNK OR SOMETHING. SHE KNOWS THAT BRET WILL BE CHECKING OUT THE MOTHER HEN IN HER. HEATHER IS THE SHIT. SHE’S BEAUTIFUL, CLASSIEST OF ALL, LOVES BRET, AND IS JUST ONE DOWN-RIGHT, DO-RAG WEARING, KICK ASS GURL WHO IS GONNA TAKE HER MAN AWAY FROM ALL THESE BITCHES! GOOD LUCK GIRL…WE ARE ALL ROOTING FOR YA IN S.C.!!WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO

MICHELLE BLUE | 9/28/2007, 2:57 am EST

I WISHED ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO THINKS HAPPY ASS MOTHER HEN JESS IS GONNA WIN THIS THING. HEATHER IS THE BEST DAMN GIRL FOR BRET. THEY ARE SO MUCH ALIKE AND THE CHEMISTRY IS SO GREAT. SHE FITS THE ROCK -N- ROLL PROFILE OF A ROCKER CHIC ALL DAY LONG. SHE IS CLASSY, BEAUTIFUL, AND SHE LOVES BRET SO MUCH. I ABSOLUTELY KISSED THE FLOOR WHEN HE KICKED HO-NASTY TO THE CURB. THAT UGLY BITCH SHOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR. WHAT YOU SEEN IN THAT BRET HAD TO HAVE A PAPERBAG ON HER HEAD WHEN YOU GOT THAT BLOWJOB. YOU WOULD HAVE PUKED YOURSELF RIGH ALONG WITH BRANDI IF YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN HER DOWN THERE LOOKING LIKE A RED HEADED LOCK NESS MONSTER WHO FORGOT WHERE HER EARRINGS GO. PICK HEATHER AND MAKE ALL OF US SOUTHERN CHICS DOWN HERE VERY, VERY HAPPY!!!GOOD LUCK HEATHER..WE ARE ROOTING FOR YA GIRL.

annmargaret | 11/7/2008, 4:50 pm EST

I have been trying to talk to Bret since his #1 rock of love but i dont get anywhere. Can i get on Rock of love #3 or just talk to him and let him know iam looking for you would love to meet him even would be great. Tell Bret to keep comming out with the great songs? Love you Bret come se me in Hoosick Falls NY State.

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