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Rock Reality Show Recap: Bret Michaels Tests His Girls’ Mettle on ‘Rock of Love’

8/20/07, 12:57 pm EST

rock of love

Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love, while Rock Daily searches for ways to reference “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” in our Rock Reality Show Recaps. Here’s our take on episode six:

Sixty Minutes in Two Sentences: Seven girls remain in the Rock of Love house, so Bret Michaels tests their ability to rock on the road by putting them through a tour bus challenge that demands they change into a slutty outfit in a Port-A-Pottie, dig through a dumpster of goo in search of a lost guitar pick and shove their past security in order to be with him — who’s gonna give these ladies their dignity back after the show ends like Mo’Nique did for the Flavor of Love gals … Courtney Love? While winner Brandi M. attends a hockey game with Bret, Heather and Lacey continue to treat the show like Survivor: Eightiesville (Michaels does wear that bandanna like a buff everywhere) and plot to take out sensitive Samantha, who chills out long enough to pole dance during Michaels’ birthday party, then returns to full-on angst mode.

Did Every Rose Have Its Thorn?: You better believe it. One of challenge’s tests required contestants to rearrange words on a blackboard until they spelled out the chorus of Michaels’ most beloved track. And yes, somebody (Mia) got it wrong. Maybe producers aren’t piping it into the house where the girls live 24/7 …
The Most Ridiculous Part: Michaels never seems to wonder why tattletale Lacey shows up in his room yet again to rat out a girl for not really wanting to be there (in this case, Sam). How did he make it in the music biz for so long while taking everything people say at face value? This may explain Native Tongue.

The Rockin’ Finish: In the end, Michaels can’t possibly part with Sam knowing she now “has pole skills” and tells brooding Magdalena she’s the next Fallen Angel.


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Comments

DanaLPurr | 8/20/2007, 2:41 pm EST

Bret – I agree with the others: Lacy is a bitch. She is not a fair competitor but rather a conniving back-stabber. How trustworthy is that?

mark eee | 8/20/2007, 3:32 pm EST

i like Poison. Just for the record, G ‘n’ R was better of course (I should not even say both names in the same sentence in fact, night and day, actually worlds apart, actually no comparison, sorry I brought it up), but for good lightweight fun, Poison did rock!

mark eee | 8/20/2007, 3:42 pm EST

Actually, for clarification, G’n'R, Def Leppard and Tesla were not hair bands, they had greater substance and skill. But ignoring those 3 great bands, the best hair bands were, in order:

1. Bon Jovi
2. Motley Crue
3. Faster Pussycat
4. Skid Row
5. Dokken
6. Ratt
7. Great White
8. LA Guns
9. Cinderella
10. Whitesnake
11. White Lion
12. Poison
13. Warrant

In summary, Poison was better than Warrant, so Brett Michaels should have his own show!

mark eee | 8/20/2007, 3:45 pm EST

Come on, it has been 40 seconds since i put my thoughts out there, my postings are clearly controversial (Bon jovi better than Motley Crue, those are fightin’ words!). can I get a response here?

jungleland | 8/20/2007, 4:55 pm EST

I love this show. I wanted to hate it, but DAMMIT I watch even the reruns. I don’t think The Bachelor can ever come back to TV after this.

They showed the Poison Unplugged from 1991 on VH1 Classics recently and I noticed that they played electric guitars with acoustic effect processing.

Never a big Poison fan, but Brett seams like a cool guy

message from beyond | 8/20/2007, 6:21 pm EST

mark eee,
your thoughts were received, and your question has been answered.

dr. bukowski | 8/20/2007, 6:59 pm EST

Herpes? I’m afraid so, Bret.

MeMe | 8/20/2007, 7:40 pm EST

Lacy looks like a demonic drag queen

pwaton | 8/20/2007, 7:50 pm EST

bret needs to get rid of lacy, i cant stand her or heather.

cj | 8/20/2007, 8:17 pm EST

Bret!!! dont know how anyone can find TRUE love on a t.v. show. all these girls and maybe many others just wants to be famous with you and not for true love. i think you know where im goin with this!! thanks

lil trae | 8/20/2007, 8:25 pm EST

man… i can’t think of her name, but if he don’t pick the chick with the pink hair, i’ll damn sure take her.
holla at a playa shawti

captain smartass | 8/20/2007, 8:36 pm EST

man, i didn’t know this was bilingual thread!

hairmom | 8/20/2007, 10:05 pm EST

love the show Im just so sick of heather and lacey trying to get rid of the girls that really want to find true love with bret. If he knew what was going on behind his back with heather and lacey those bitiches would have been gone the first episode…

Monica Spears | 8/20/2007, 11:17 pm EST

I love that you’re recapping this crap. I LIVE for that bandana’d botoxed has-been to play Every Rose has its Thorn in every episode. I love it!

celticeyzz | 8/20/2007, 11:20 pm EST

Bret, I believe that Jes is best suited for you; she’s honest, holding her guard, but becoming very comfortable with her. Of course she doesn’t want her heart broken, nor do you. Feel with your heart and you will choose the right girl. We want the best for you and your new girl and, most especially a fantastic role model for your little girls. Take care and God Bless.

karjomack | 8/20/2007, 11:25 pm EST

Hello Bret, You have some serious soul and heart searching ahead of you! I pray you make the right choice for yourself, your new girlfriend and for your daughters. Your daughters will look to you for guidance and it’s your job to provide them with the best role model. You need a girl who is honest, true to you (and to them) and who will love you and them unconditionally. I think you will find these qualities in Jes and Sam. You will have to change your life to the better for Sam, she will be totally devoted to you and your family; she seems like a good girl, emotional, but sincere. I wish you the best in your choice!

Dear Bret | 8/20/2007, 11:25 pm EST

I am such a pathetic woman that instead of cultivating my own life, I rather sit around all day and obssess about who you fuck. Someone, anyone will you just kill me, because I am such a pathetic loser!!!

Dear Bret | 8/20/2007, 11:55 pm EST

And another thing, ladies: Bret Michaels doesn’t read your comments, you fuckin’ dolts!!!

julie | 8/21/2007, 12:28 pm EST

bret, get it together, man!!! Think you messed up when ya’ got rid of erin-should have been lacy and heather. Those girls are just screwing with you. You need to think of your little girls, too. Jes and Sam are your best-bet!!! Best of luck to you-look in those girls’ eyes & you will know!!!

Anonymous | 8/21/2007, 12:46 pm EST

Man,these psycho-bitches really come out of the woodwork,don’t they?

Susan L. | 8/21/2007, 3:14 pm EST

You need to go with Sam or Jes.
Lacey and Heather need to go. I can imagine if you choose Lacey or Heather you would always have drama or getting them out of fights with other chicks. They would not be good for your daughters. I like Jes myself she is
so calm and seems to be really cool with all the drama. Lacey is a fruit cake and needs a foot up her ass. Heather she needs to calm the big hair down.

Vanessa Somerville | 8/21/2007, 3:46 pm EST

Sam deserves a boyfriend far better than Bret Michaels. Why she’d want be in the mix for somebody who hasn’t come up with a new idea since 1989 is beyond me. Give Samantha her own show so she can find someone who truly loves her for her beauty and intelligence.

Jenn | 8/21/2007, 6:41 pm EST

Why is everybody putting such importance on this issue. It’s a TV show that’s not real. It’s all for show and promotional gain. I admit that they could have picked way better gals, but don’t even think that this is a show to truly win Bret’s heart. I watch the show because I’m a Poison fan, but I don’t believe in it. Just because they say that it is reality TV, doesn’t mean that it is real. It’s all fixed and fabricated for the viewers.

mark eee | 8/21/2007, 7:45 pm EST

this is sad. no one wants to debate the music. i thought this was rolling stone, not people magazine. reality shows suck, they are killing music.

CtsSexyMomma | 8/22/2007, 6:08 am EST

Dear Bret,
Love the show PLEASE get rid of Lacy she is not the one for you Sam is

Stereotypical psycho | 8/22/2007, 7:06 am EST

Hahaha!bret do this!no do that!i love reality t.v!this has to be real!it has to be!it’s all i have!i’m crazy!i love reality sooo much!my heart is going to explode!weeee!true love!bret speaks to me through my television!i need professional help!

Monotypical MD | 8/22/2007, 2:23 pm EST

Hey Stereo, good for you. The first step in solving a problem is recognizing that there is one. Reality TV making you lose hope? I have the name of one doctor that I think might be a good fit. His name is Doctor Johnny Fever, and he’s a DJ at a rock radio station called “WKRP” in Cincinati. He’s got the cure for what’s ailing you! For less than one office visit, you can have the entire dvd collection of the TV show. In all seriousness, I got the thing and it’s been a miracle cure for my midsummer derpression. Give it a try!

nannydew | 8/22/2007, 3:19 pm EST

I want to marry Bret! I was not really a Poison fan back in the day, but I sure am now! Please marry me Bret!

Pops | 8/22/2007, 4:38 pm EST

“Rock of love”house?I would’ve call it something else.I’ll give you a hint,it rhymes with COCK.

Frenchi | 8/22/2007, 10:20 pm EST

Bret-you need to pick Sam or Jes. But even better bring Rodeo back. She was just missing her lil man and she should have did that and came back because she was really there for you.

Dear Bret | 8/23/2007, 12:56 am EST

Dear Bret | 8/20/2007, 11:25 pm EST

I am such a pathetic woman that instead of cultivating my own life, I rather sit around all day and obssess about who you fuck. Someone, anyone will you just kill me, because I am such a pathetic loser!!!

message from the afterlife | 8/23/2007, 1:56 am EST

Lacey is a little slut who tattle tales on everybody and her and Heather are doing each other and dude you need to watch some of the outtakes of the show to see what lacey and heather are up to. They come to you all serious and they are lying to your face and then when they come out they get together and laugh at how you bought everything no questions ask so you are being played like a fool if you don’t look at some of the tapes. PS. LOOK AT THE TAPES AND ELIMINATE LACEY AND HEATHER ASAP

message from beyond | 8/23/2007, 4:09 am EST

all of you who watch this show are pathetic.

Friend with a Rockstar | 8/23/2007, 12:11 pm EST

“Lacy looks like a demonic drag queen” Haha…My exact thought on her!She will likely be kept to the end and then eliminated.I watched the show for the first time this afternoon and I would have to agree with all of you that say the girls are in it for the fame,money and popularity not love.It’s hard for celebs to find someone real,that can handle the lifestyle they lead.Just look at the media and you can clearly see this!Best of luck Bret!

bukowski | 8/23/2007, 3:06 pm EST

WHOOSH, right over their heads!!! Or more likely, completely overwhelmed by their hormones. What do they see in this stooge? I guess there are a lot more women who like unmasculine guys than I origially thought!

4D | 8/24/2007, 1:16 am EST

I wouldn’t normally comment at this post (I wasn’t even aware that the TV show existed)…but I’m in agreement with “Friends with a Rockstar”. Isn’t it better to get to know somebody first before knowing what’s in their bank account? That whole money-thing can really give somebody a jaded perspective during first impressions. This TV show is too superficial.

Natalie Goncalves | 8/28/2007, 11:33 am EST

Bret, i just saw the last episode of Rock of love, it was great, but you need to get rid of Lacey, like the other girls told you, she’s manipulative, and mean, you can’t trust her with your daughters, i mean you’re going to have to get rid of her sooner, or later, she even used you to make Sam jealous, because Sam, or Jes is the one for you, because they are 2 sweet girls, and your daughters would really look up to them, and i think you’re really hot, i love your music, i’m a poison fan, and i will continue to watch the show to see where it all ends, best of luck to you man.

ktina | 9/7/2007, 10:45 pm EST

i hateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee lacey shes an evilllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll bitch and heathers a hooker, pick jess cause shes the best. and her hair is awesome.

mandy | 9/15/2007, 1:12 am EST

het bret for real you should get rid of lacey and heather. Jes is your girl and she is not manipulative like lacey and she is not a bitch like heather for real thoough you should choose Jes. You are really hott

kathy | 9/17/2007, 4:52 pm EST

thank god lacey is gone hope it is jes but who knows if these shows are for real

kathy | 9/17/2007, 4:53 pm EST

thank god lacey is gone hope it is jes but who knows if these shows are for real

Raquell | 9/18/2007, 10:58 pm EST

Brett, I hope you read these, because I think your in for a BIG mistake. I just started watching about 3 weeks ago, so don’t know what happened before it was 4 girls. I didn’t understand Lacey being there, because she was such a tattle tale. You don’t go running to your HOST whining about things. To me, that would be a major turb off, if she can;t take care of her own issues. I’m glad she’s gone, ESPECIALLY after you met her dad!!!!! Crazy stuff.
So now it is Heather and Jes left. I am pretty sure you will pick Heather because she IS a party girl! She’s the kind that will suck your dick under the table at dinner, or do a pole dance for your friends, rub all over your friends when she is drunk ( which seems quite often)By the way, I imagine you’ll end up paying her dad’s drinking bill, too. She says she loves you, but that’s not possible in a few weeks. I’m sure there is a LOT of lust, sure she likes you…but I think she sees dollar signs. With the way she drinks, I don’t see her being a very good mother or taking very good care of you. On her list, HEATHER comes first and always will!! Look into her eyes. Brett. There is NOTHING there, at least not from what I can see.
Men don’t understand women and you can all be taken in so EASY!!! Women do all the same things guys do, but we’re better at it. We are more cunning, better at deceit, we are great chameleons, many of us will leave you in a instant for “something better”. We can be very cold hearted bitches. Love isn’t all crazy sex and partying all nite,sleeping all day; that just makes you older faster. Love is caring, sharing, taking care of the other person, sometimes giving up something that is really important to you for your partner. Love is through thick and thin, as the saying goes. And it is true, most of the time the thin times bring you a lot closer. And love is COMMUNICATING, TALKING before things go to shit. It is making one heart of two. I think that is what you would have with JES. She is gentle, kind, (look how she took care of those girls at the one dinner they were all smashed at) that is how she would care for your children. Brett, look in Jes’ eyes and you see joy and happiness and wonder! Those are important to keep in your life, you could use some and I think Jes would bring it to you. So what if she isn’t the “party girl” she would probably make a wonderful “hostess” and you would’nt have to worry where she was every minute and with who. And so what if she hasn’t let down her guard enough, how the hell could you when your in a competition, and don’t really want to be hurt at the end of it. I guarantee she will open her heart to you, if you chose her.
But, like I said at the beginning, I’m afraid it will be Heather. But in 6 months, when you’ve kicked her to the curb, or she’s left for greener pastures, maybe Jes will take your phone call and agree to see you. Best of luck!

Karen | 9/23/2007, 8:37 pm EST

I really like the show. Ilike it so much that I can watch reruns all day, I know, I need help. I’m glad Brett finally gave Lacy the boot He should have done it a long time ago. I hope Brett chooses Jes. They make a cute couple and seems like the best choice for him. I will be watching the final show tonight and be hoping that Brett chooses Jes. Heather is not right for him. She’s just after his fame and mmoney. I don’t think Heather is the right one for him in the long run, but Jes is.

alexie | 9/29/2007, 8:46 am EST

brett i think u should pick the write girl for u maybe one who’s ready to be a mom if i were u i would pick heather but it’s your chouise

Julia | 10/1/2007, 11:31 pm EST

I love rock of love..
I am so glad that Bret got rid of Lacey, Would not want to spend the holidays with OTIS … He thought he was god gift..
I have Watch that episode @ least 10 times already and every time I i wish i was Heather so I could . call that B** tch out ( way to go heather) Well all the best Bret, But i Sure wish it was me you are hooking up with .. Love you , Love Poison and tell by JOHN I available

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