Lil Kim is authoring a fictional (read: non-autiobiographical) book, to be published on St. Martin’s Press. Whoopee!

• More proof that life is like a Johnny Cash song: Country singer Billy Joe Shaver is wanted for a shooting a man in Austin, Texas.
• We missed our Mets, but apparently not as much as the Hold Steady missed the Twins, judging by their Metrodome-approved version of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.”
• Not be outdone by cracked-out Brit import Amy Winehouse, Lady Sovereign has cancelled some shows due to “exhaustion,” which everyone knows is code for “too many drugs.”
• The person responsible for our favorite Clip of the Day ever will be performing at the Bamboozle music festival in New Jersey on May 5th.
• Sweden is supposed to be this ultra-free country, yet the government won’t let parents name their baby “Metallica”?