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Pick Your Paula

3/27/07, 5:55 pm EST

Imagine our surprise when we received Paula Abdul — Greatest Hits: Straight Up! in the mail today. Now don’t get your undies in a bunch, the disc doesn’t go on sale ’til May 8th.

After rocking out furiously to “Cold-Hearted,” “Forever Your Girl” and, of course, “Straight Up,” we simmered down enough to ponder: Why now, Paula? Of all times to dust off that unfortunate-yet-catchy remnant of the early-’90s? After nearly five years of creeping insidiously into our hearts with your slurry, saccharine stage-mother sunshine? Why choose now to capitalize on your American Idol fame and remind us of your other, Taylor Dayne-ish shadow self? Are you there, Paula? Are you listening?

Not that we’re complaining. Forced to pick one Paula, we might just choose that vaguely chubby-legged, Emilio Estevez-loving friend of a cartoon cat over the embattled reality show diva that is Paula 2.0. Then again, maybe not.

Which Paula would you choose?


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Comments

wes | 3/27/2007, 5:58 pm EST

I’m not a paula fan, not an american idol watcher, but really now.

“chubby-legged”? why was that a necessary part of this mediocre post?

charliemapleton | 3/27/2007, 6:35 pm EST

A tie between the late ’80’s and mid ’90’s Paula Abdul when it was all about tireless dance moves,and later lustfully following the footsteps of Bette Davis and Maryln Monroe-push up bras,dimples and all.

jungleland | 3/27/2007, 6:50 pm EST

I like what she did for ZZ Top The Velcro Fly video

Spaceboy | 3/27/2007, 8:25 pm EST

Paula was my first crush…she rocked my world as a wee little 9 year old…give me the “Straight Up” Paula, although i would take the present day one in a second.

lik roper | 3/27/2007, 8:49 pm EST

it’s all about her drunk-on-tv incident…

JohnHeckmanWright | 3/28/2007, 8:49 am EST

Paula Abdul released three studio albums: Forever Your Girl, Spellbound, and Head Over Heals.

Now she’s managed to release two greatest hits albums and one remix album based on those three albums.

How many times can the record industry repackage crap (and don’t get me wrong, I loved Paula back in the day but really–in no one’s word is this a needed release)?

manda lu | 3/28/2007, 9:00 am EST

not to be a “cold hearted snake” to this “new”paula but seriously i love the chubby legged paula. i still dance whenever those early ninety songs come on. i’m only 21 but i can rmember me and my sister making up dances to her songs and trying to get on star search. yeah i was that much in love with the “old” paula.

Carlos | 3/28/2007, 9:52 am EST

Paula had nothing to do with this lame excuse for a greatest hits collection. Virgin Records is capitalizing on her popularity on Idol by releasing this. This greatest hits cd was already released a couple of years ago and now they are re-releasing it with a different cover. LAME.

What die-hard fans want is a brand new album!

Marcus | 3/28/2007, 10:29 am EST

I think I like the new Paula. Hip, edgy, non-conformist. Just like me.

marcus fan | 3/28/2007, 11:13 am EST

marcus,
You are the hippest, edgiest, non- comformostly cut and paste kind of guy that I know…

Morgan | 3/28/2007, 11:21 am EST

Say what you may, Paula is awesome. Slur on!

Morgan | 3/28/2007, 11:23 am EST

Where was Marcus/Marky at yesterday when the whole blog was laying the literary smackdown on Elizabeth Goodman for her not very nice comment about the Black Crowes?

Dr. Ralph | 3/28/2007, 12:07 pm EST

Do we have to choose? The young hot dancin’ Paula was so in shape she could have gone all night and all day! The new slightly sleazier slightly wasted Paula is kinky! I want it all… plus she’s sold like 33 million albums! How much is my allowance sweetheart?

Marky | 3/28/2007, 12:33 pm EST

Hi! It was actually me using the name Marcus!! Ha Ha! :) I’m glad you like me, I like you too! Thank you for the compliments. I am pretty edgy, etc.

Morgan | 3/28/2007, 12:41 pm EST

I would like to reitterate: Paula is awesome! We’ll take her any way we can.

ishy with sauce | 3/28/2007, 12:46 pm EST

straight up, i would rush, rush out to buy that greatest hits. today, paula may be a cold-hearted snake but back then opposites attracted and she said she was forever my girl…chubby legs and all.

MrOshun | 3/28/2007, 1:51 pm EST

For someone who battled an eating disorder, you are an ahole…Paula Abdul in the 90’s and today has always been flawless. GET A GRIP.

Joe | 3/28/2007, 3:23 pm EST

I’ll take Paula and Janet in stretch pants watching the “movie” while singing “Nasty Girl”

charliemapleton | 3/28/2007, 3:59 pm EST

I’m just jealous Corey Clark hit that before I did(laughs)!

dlt | 3/28/2007, 4:29 pm EST

Dance w/ Your Favorite (Or Not So Favorite) Cartoon

Hey singer, I’ve got a song you can sing on American Idol. It’s a–I’ve sang it a few times–cover song. It’s called Everybody’s Godda Have Somethin’. Here’s the verse(s):

(Sing thrice)If you don’t have any talent,
(Sing once)Well, you can make a lot of money.

Of course the chorus and the title are the same.

Morgan | 3/28/2007, 5:38 pm EST

Who can deny that the “Opposites Attract” video, along with MC Scatcat, was awesome.

Joe | 3/28/2007, 8:59 pm EST

MC SKAT KAT=ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME

timmay | 3/29/2007, 11:10 am EST

Paula is super hot no matter what year we are in!! nd Marky is a super conformist and is not hip and edgy at all!

charliemapleton | 3/29/2007, 6:06 pm EST

I would like to see MC Scat Cat come back-he may possibly become the newest aquisition to Roc-A-Fella.Of course he would be a good catch with the likes of Melyssa Ford or Nancy E.

paula fan | 3/30/2007, 7:40 pm EST

i can’t believe you said she was chubby legged . .those legs were and still are AMAzING . all muscle .. seriously . .guess ur nto a dancer cause then you would know that! . .paula is amazing and id take her anyway i could get her . .muscular legs or not!

Biff | 5/28/2009, 12:16 am EST

paula is forever my girl! I love that babe! She is H-O-T! I don’t care if she has “chubby” legs or whatever. Don’t know why she went after that Corey Clarke dude though…

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