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Pop Life: Like a Bon Jovi ballad, Antonella Barba has been living on a prayer week after week

3/23/07, 7:20 pm EST

antonellaCiao, Antonella. This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you. We’ll forget everything else on American Idol this season, but we’ll never forget the toothsome Sagittarian from Point Pleasant, New Jersey, the Italian girl who taught us what “Sowing the Seeds of Love” is all about. Like a Bon Jovi ballad come to life, Antonella Barba was livin’ on a prayer through week after week of tone-deaf awesomeness. But now we’re supposed to believe America just gave up on her? Sorry, but I don’t buy it. This was rigged — they just switched Antonella’s votes with Haley’s. What do we want? Recount! When do we want it? Now!

Antonella wasn’t the worst singer on the show (take a bow, Gina G) or the most hideous egomaniac (adieu, Brandon), but, man, what a character. Every week was a new chapter in her life, full of heart-filled texts to her BFF, who declared, “She’s the least slutty person I know!” I miss her already. It’s tragic she got kicked off before she got a chance to dedicate Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” to the jerk who exposed her alleged sex photos, but that can wait for her own inevitable Fox show, How Do I Look?

One thing is for sure: Idol is doomed without her, because she was the whole show. This is easily the worst cast ever, and if they had any sense, they’d scratch the results and start over. The only keepers are Lakisha, Melinda, maybe that sweet Jordin and Stephanie, too. But the rest? Where did they find Chris Sligh, playing Jack in Osbournes on Ice? Blake seemed cool with his Morrissey imitation, but he’s devolved into a scatting, skanking, 311-loving, improv-comedy-dabbling windbag. Phil the Bald Muppet always reminds me of the final scene in 2001. Sanjaya is obviously desperate to go home, but he’s a prisoner of his own cuteness, as he wows the old ladies with his Indian El DeBarge thing. Sorry, Sanjaya! No matter how bad you sing, you will clearly have to slaughter a cow onstage and sing the Revolting Cocks’ “Beers, Steers & Queers” before America will let you go. Even the ones who can sing are hampered by their corny taste in material. Melinda needs to step it up — “My Funny Valentine” has been dead to me since Ralph Malph sang it on one of those “Joanie has a dream sequence” episodes of Happy Days.

What a cast. Order lots of room service, kids — your days of Fox-sponsored nachos would seem to be drawing to an extremely imminent close. When it’s over, all we’ll remember is Antonella, and we don’t want to miss a thing. Bring her back now!


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Comments

Katie | 5/3/2007, 7:07 pm EST

Phil looks like a human penis

Bax | 4/13/2007, 4:13 am EST

Oh man - you just made me LAUGH!! I just got my RS 4/5/07 issue. You can’t be serious. The gal can/could NOT carry a tune. I agree re Lakisha, Melinda & Jordan, but… rigged - DOOMED without HER?!? Thanks again for the belly laugh.

Nate | 4/12/2007, 10:51 pm EST

You know what, Antonella’s boot was completely justified, whether it was rigged or not. I don’t care if it was either. She got to stay as long as she did, while back in AI2 Frenchie got ejected? There is no way you can justify that as far, no matter how you slice it. To top it all off, she was the worst female singer there. She completely butchered “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” and “Put Your Records On.” And I don’t think her photos getting leaked was actually that “jerk”’s idea. She wanted publicity, and I think she leaked them herself. She knew she couldn’t win based on vocal talent, so she had to resort to her looks. It’s quite pathetic. So you know what? I say “good riddance, Antonella!!”

meglovesrs | 3/27/2007, 7:05 pm EST

I like the similie of Antonella’s life as a Bon Jovi ballad. Very cute. I haven’t wanted to watch Idol all season, but my (cough) wonderful (cough) english teacher talks about it constantly. She calls Sanjaya “vagina”, it’s actually pretty funny. But yeah I don’t like him and Antonella had the package to go all the way.

yup | 3/26/2007, 7:23 pm EST

I agree completly… american idol was rigged. I know this because somebody told me that Antonlla got the 5th highest vote and no-way can votes drop so low to being booted off… Henry could be right about AI could be scared of rushing into the ratial issue… and when antonella was still on i thought she had ALOT AND ALOT of Fantonella’s

funkydawg | 3/26/2007, 7:12 pm EST

Rob - You are SO right on, aside from Melinda, Lakisha, Jordin the rest of the singers are just weak especially the guys - but yeah Antonella WAS the show! She was smoking hot and deliciously sexy albeit a crappy singer in comparison to the rest - Haley is very pretty but is as cold as an ice cube from a sex appeal approach and she’s not a very good singer either she’s very boring give the trophy to Melinda and get it over with…AND they got rid of acouple great singers early on the black girl with the curls was tremendous Stephanie I think?

girl | 3/26/2007, 4:52 pm EST

u guys r so rong
i luv blake
melinda did so good da tim she sang da valetne song
u SUCK
i think she had 2 go
she was 1 of da worst
so is sejaya

Marky | 3/26/2007, 11:29 am EST

Man, you guys are all soooo cool, edgy, hip, off the main road. I want to be like all of you. Sometimes I smell my index finger.

mikeky | 3/26/2007, 10:16 am EST

can somebody just post the pics of barba with a dick in her mouth? those were cool.

Andy | 3/26/2007, 9:14 am EST

“Living on a Prayer” isn’t a ballad.

Rolling Stone is full of morons.

Stacy | 3/26/2007, 5:44 am EST

Chris Sligh looks more like the character Ricky in the movie “Better Off Dead.”

Gurl | 3/24/2007, 9:20 pm EST

I think you are VERY wrong about this. Gina is a million and one times better than this gurl……and i believe everything you have said in this page is very very wrong EXCEPT the comment on sinjaya…..he’s awful

Joe | 3/24/2007, 9:13 pm EST

I loved Antonella. She’s obviously a talented singer she just needs some training. Any record company would be stupid not to take her under their wing. She totally stole this show and the whole hype of Season 6 left with her!

Henry | 3/23/2007, 10:58 pm EST

I honestly believed that Antonella Barba should be on the top 12 of the AI Season 6. Even though her music is just in my opinion just average as compared to Lakisha & Melinda but really not that bad as some of the Antonella bashers have claimed for any reason. I firmly believed that she is somewhere around No. 3 to No. 5 spot among the 8 girls vying for the last 6 spots because she definitely had a huge fan base not only among the male population, but with the female students population votes too & also the sympathy votes. In my opinion AI decided to booth her out because the issue is beginning to become a racial one (Frenchie & O Donnel issue) & AI dont want to be involved on this once and for all. And AI Season 6 12 finalists have only a few talented singers with personalities as compared to those 12 finalist of the past five seasons. Antonella Barba can give this Season 6 some life and ratings to otherwise would be a cold and boring AI Season & some good ticket sales on the top 10 Idol Season Tour had AI Producers not rigged the actual vote count.

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