It could have been a recipe for disaster: The eleven remaining American Idol contestants covering songs from British Invasion bands including Gerry & The Pacemakers, the Kinks and the Zombies, all under the expert guidance of Herman’s Hermits singer Peter Noone and Invasion-era singer Lulu. Miraculously, the kids put on their game faces for last night’s episode, and achieved their most favorable ratio of competent-to-crappy so far this season.
For instance, the heretofore milquetoast Haley Scarnato finally made an impression thanks to a backless camisole and some seriously short shorts. The leggy singer flashed so much skin during her chirpy rendition of “Tell Him” that Simon noted, “I think people will be talking about a lot more than your singing tonight.” Though she’s one of the least impressive singers and her days on Idol are clearly numbered, expect to see Scarnato and her gams at least a couple more times.
A couple other contestants who seemed to be on the fast track to elimination redeemed themselves just enough that they’re likely to squeak through another couple weeks. One of those lucky bastards is Sanjaya Malakar, who persists in sinking to greater depths of embarrassing awfulness. During his rendition of the Kinks’ “You Really Got Me,” he attempted to play the part of a tough rock & roller by squinting his eyes and rasping up his voice to approximate genuine grit. Oh boy. It was, quite simply, more painful to watch than the supposedly educated adults who can’t tell Jeff Foxworthy how many sides are on a trapezoid during Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader. During Malakar’s performance, the cameras kept zeroing in on a pigtailed pre-teen girl in the crowd named Chelsea, who was crying almost as hard as Ray Davies would if he saw this performance. Apparently, they were tears of joy, which may explain just who the hell is voting for Sanjaya week after week. Randy called it his best number to date and Paula found some generic compliment to pay, but Simon brought down the hammer: “I think the little girl’s face says it all,” he said, resignedly.
Phil Stacey’s soulless “Tobacco Road” and Chris Sligh’s wonky, Blues Brothers-esque “She’s Not There” both blew, but one suspects those dudes have enough fan support to keep them off the chopping block this week. It comes down to a question of who WILL go home versus who ought to. In the latter category, you’ve got Gina Glocksen, whose outfit made her look like Hot Topic barfed all over her. Her vocals on “Paint It Black” – yet another pathetic try at coming off like the Amy Lee of Idol – were so shaky that, during the bridge, she lost hold on the melody entirely. “There were moments of complete torture in that song,” said Simon.
Still, the likely loser this week is what’s-her-name. You know, the girl who sings really well but who isn’t Lakisha or Melinda or Jordin. What’s her name again? Oh, yes, that’s right, now I remember. A trapezoid has FOUR sides. Stephanie Edwards, who covered Dusty Springfied’s “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me” never hit her stride last night. The song was either too big for her or too far out of her comfort zone, and within seconds of opening her mouth, she looked frightened and sounded it, too. Randy and Paula suggested that she return to uptempo numbers, and Simon was even more explicit, saying, “I think you are losing your edge.” Methinks that’s not all she’ll lose this week.
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- Portions of Album Content Provided by All Music Guide © 2009 All Media Guide, LLC.
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