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Blogging “American Idol”: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?

3/14/07, 11:54 am EST

Now that American Idol has narrowed the field of competitors to six boys and six girls, viewers are forced to sit through the excruciatingly drawn out process of one-at-a-time eliminations that often fail to cut the crappiest or most loathsome contestant. This week, during their first time on the big stage, virtually all of the singers choked — except the unflappable Melinda Doolittle and Lakisha Jones, who are so good they’re almost ruining all of the delicious schadenfreude.

The challenge this week was to interpret songs popularized by Diana “Call Me Miss Ross” Ross, who’s composure in the face of these contestants’ ineptitude makes me think she’s not as off the rails as people say. Haley Scarnato somehow redeemed herself simply by screwing up and then acknowledging it. “I feel like a schmuck,” she said, after she bungled the words to “Missing You.” Even Simon was charmed by her adorable failure, telling her she had great stage presence. First time all season I’ve disagreed with him. Phil Stacey, who looks like Sean Patrick Flanery’s stunt double from the 1995 film Powder, got props from the judges for simply singing well. The bar has officially been lowered, as the gaping chasm between Doolittle/Jones and the rest of the singers widens.

So, yes, there was a lot of sucking last night. But who sucked worst? It’s tempting to call out Chris Sligh, who looked like Staind’s Aaron Lewis in a Sideshow Bob wig during his Daughtrified version of “Endless Love” or Gina Glocksen, just because I hate her with a seething passion I haven’t felt since Kevin “Chicken Little” Covais copped ‘tude with Simon last season. But, when you get down to it, there are only two heads on the chopping block this week: Brandon Rogers and Sanjaya Malakar. So who will go home? I’d put my money on Rogers. Though Malakar – who’s ever-changing hairdos make me think the stylists backstage have turned him into their own personal Barbie head – made “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” sound totally ball-less, even Miss Ross seemed to fall in love with his sweet, virginal charms.

Rogers, meanwhile, committed the dual offenses of being boring and awful at the same time. Even his Afro looked limp. His wimpy, nervous performance of “You Can’t Hurry Love” felt like an outdated karaoke performance, and it only got worse when he screwed up the lyrics and then tried to smile his way through the outro. As Simon put it, he “sounded like a background singer for a background singer.” It’s a shame, because he definitely has potential. Too bad Sanjaya’s got the better curls.


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Comments

Zachra | 3/14/2007, 1:55 pm EST

Is anyone watching this show this season? I really haven’t heard any of the usual bickering that happens this time of year. Maybe its for the best.

Kevita Davis | 3/14/2007, 2:33 pm EST

Why is Sanjaya still here. At first I was for him beating his over cnfident sister out but this competition is just not for him.

Angus | 3/14/2007, 2:37 pm EST

Sanjaya is the worst singer on the planet. I think he’s there just to be a punching bag.

Anonymous | 3/14/2007, 2:39 pm EST

I think the worst is Haley Scarnato. If she does not leave this week, I am going to scream. Also she forgot her lyrics. Did Sanjaya do that? NOOOOOO

The Vintage Idiot | 3/14/2007, 2:44 pm EST

This show F’n sucks. I had to sit through 2 hours of it with my girlfriend last night, and watch these “contestants” bore me to death. None of them actually did anything that would show they have the “it” factor; they just stood there and sang. Who cares who wins, their just another batch of people we’ll forget tomorrow.

fritz | 3/14/2007, 2:45 pm EST

Expect Sanjaya to stay. Votefortheworst.com is campaigning for him; it should see him through the first few rounds at least.

Sanjaya | 3/14/2007, 3:03 pm EST

I will kill you all! You have to admit my sister is pretty hot though, right?

Sway | 3/14/2007, 3:04 pm EST

Did you see the news about Mario Vasquez and his mysterious exit from Idol? The whole thing is uncannily like this wicked book I just read, Dying to Be Famous, a savage takeoff of Idol.

Paula Abdul's Empty Bottle | 3/14/2007, 3:06 pm EST

Sanjaya blows.

Roger | 3/14/2007, 3:08 pm EST

Why is Rollingstone so obsessed with Lakisha and Melinda? Can you imagine either one of these chicks selling a million records? Absolutely not! There’s thousands of other black girls out there who can sing just as good as these 2 girls, if not better, and don’t look heinous. Lakisha and Melinda can sing well, but that doesn’t mean they have any star quality, they don’t, they’re both incredibly hideous, let’s be honest here. The only contestant this season who has any potential to be a star is Blake, he’s the only one with any charisma whatsoever. Everyone else is ridiculously mediocre/awful, if I wanted to listen an amazing black singer I would buy Fantasia’s new record or listen to Aretha Franklin, Lakisha is good, but she’s not a star in any way.

pb78 | 3/14/2007, 3:18 pm EST

Sanjaya is there because of the big population of Indian people in the US and also the outsourcing of phone back jobs to India, probably using the phone banks to call in votes, he does suck though

Turd | 3/14/2007, 3:25 pm EST

Roger, are you implying that Fantasia has star quality?

chore boy and a tire gauge | 3/14/2007, 3:39 pm EST

If Melinda Doolittle is the one who had Paula crying and Simon near tears then THAT GIRL has starpower! I was flipping through the channels and this black chick was singing her ass off! Wicked enough for me to scream to my wife “you have to hear this bitch!” I don’t care what you look like, if you got the chops people will buy the record.

Southern Girl | 3/14/2007, 4:03 pm EST

I don’t think you have to call Melinda a b*!%#! She can sing, I am a little curious if her shy role is going to continue. Think about it, If you sang back up to the Stars I’m sure you already knew you could sing. And to those who think neither Lakisha or Melinda have the looks to be a star, You could not be more wrong!! It is people llike you that have this society all screwed up now. There should not be a “Only if your thin and supposedly cute”factor on if you can become a star. If you have the talent you should be able to be recognized for your gift. I can mention some previous Idol winners that were ugly but they have won grammy and country music awards!! Oh and guess what they were white and ugly!!

TJ | 3/14/2007, 4:04 pm EST

I’m trying my best to not watch this show, but it’s really tempting. Like chocolate. Damn you Nigel Lythgoe.

I think we should get rid of the 10 who suck and have more auditions. It sucks when Melinda and Lakisha are the only good ones. Last year, we had Daughtry, Hicks, McPhee (she was OK at least), Paris Bennett and Elliot Yamin. That was a contest last year. This year…….who cares?

Turd | 3/14/2007, 4:35 pm EST

Weeeeeeeeeeeee!

Christian | 3/14/2007, 5:02 pm EST

I think Sanjaya has been accidentally voted for or something. I couldn’t believe it when he got into the Top 12, but with this heap of crap in this season, it doesn’t really matter. No one’s really that great, nor do they show anything that we haven’t seen before.

stevie1 | 3/14/2007, 6:56 pm EST

i bet sanjaya’s picture is on many of the young voters that have kept him, though with no reason, on idol.

David | 3/14/2007, 7:30 pm EST

I don’t think any of the contestants could have done better with the material they had to choose from. Diana Ross songs are Diana Ross songs. No one sings them like she can. It reminded me of the year the contestants had to sing the songs of Gloria Estefan. The music is so distinct and uncoverable. I hope next week they have more reasonable material to work with.

amylola | 3/14/2007, 7:53 pm EST

did you know that sanjaya’s last name spelled backward is “rack of lamb?” hmmmmmm.

lik roper | 3/14/2007, 10:48 pm EST

what about the singer from steel dragon?

Dean | 3/14/2007, 11:41 pm EST

I have been watching American idol for years.This is the worst batch of singers in the history of the show.The guys suck.The girls are much better.Only because the guys are lousey.

kelly | 3/15/2007, 12:04 am EST

sanjaya not that bad ok.he have control in his voice(no shouting)and of course he sweet.why keep talking bad about him..i think there are other worse contestant like phill.i’m sick to death when he sing Lee Ann Rimes song.ha ha..where the hell he got the idea.

songlady | 3/15/2007, 1:29 am EST

I think Sanjaya could move ahead if he would either sing slow Johnny Mathis style songs, or great fast tunes of Michael Jackson. I agree with the person who posted here and said that Melinda and Likisha are excellent singers but sound like lots of other fantastic black singers. No uniqueness there; no IDOL IT factor.
What is the definition of an idol? To me, Elvis Presley is the first to come to mind. I think Phil Stacey could be a possible win if he’d grow some hair, ditch the hat, wear some cooler duds.
The REAL IDOL quality has yet to be found on this seasons show.

HerManJoe | 3/15/2007, 1:33 am EST

Hey, don’t dis Ms. Ross! Think you’ll look better at age 62? Get a grip…She loves the fro look and it looks great on her. I sure didn’t know she had sold more records than any female artist though?? huh? What about Celine and Barbara Streisand? I heard Diana’s new album is not so good though.
As for Melinda, they compare her to Gladys Knight, but do we really need another GLADYS? or pips? ……and who needs another Aretha Franklin?
I wish some gal on Idol sounded like Janis Joplin. WOW! Now, that’s an idol with that rare charisma…….

speechless! | 3/15/2007, 6:19 am EST

Sanjaya wouldn’t be selected for the chorus line of an elementary school musical! So what is he STILL doing here? Everyone says he’s sweet and so on….but come on to me he looks a 15 year old girl more than a 17yr old guy! seriously what’s with the shy smile and the girly moves?
That can all be totally disregarded if he could do the basic thing they expect in idol……SING!!!!! he has a weak voice….is a big fat ZERO compared to the others (who are not all that great either!). Why people vote for him is beyond me and those who do need to listen to some good artists and then you’ll see what I say is true!

raviolimatt | 3/15/2007, 8:50 am EST

Dear Jenny Eliscu,
Obviously, you can’t tell the difference between “whose” and “who’s”.
Isn’t there anyone in RS to foolproof your articles? Or maybe, you know, you could always go back to “journalist” school where they teach people to write _good_

36braids | 3/15/2007, 9:16 am EST

i think it’s a great thing that that snob Antonella Barba was voted off…she wasn’t good at all…

Leanne | 3/15/2007, 3:35 pm EST

I think Sanjaya is now learning to get out of his shell.Give him a break and get off his back and stop being so critical knowing full well that half you’ll can’t do any better.

annababy | 3/15/2007, 6:08 pm EST

I wish these idiots would quit voting for the people who suck give the ones who deserve it a break.Sanjaya sucks get him off

dylan | 3/18/2007, 7:14 pm EST

non eof know that sanjaya is gay……he HULAS and he is upsest with his paula like hair!1

samantha | 3/20/2007, 1:05 am EST

dont mess wit sanjaya.. hes good so lay off.. i like him mucchooo .. hes my fav!! and improving. so stop with the negativety.. im not tlkin smack about ur idol.

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