Over the weekend Britney Spears decided that she was the anti-Christ. The pop star, who is staying at the Promises rehab facility in Malibu, reportedly wrote the number 666 across her head, terrorized staff members by screaming “I am the anti-Christ,” then attempted to hang herself with a bedsheet.
Britney’s situation has obviously gone from alarming to dangerous, and the jokers at that glorified spa she’s vacationing at don’t seem equipped to save her. We’ve done the research and selected a few hardcore, beach-less facilities she should consider. They may not have 500-thread-count sheets, but one of these places could save her life.
Hazelden, Center City, MN
Who They Treated: Eric Clapton, Matthew Perry, Steven Tyler, Marianne Faithfull
Scene: The 500-acre Hazelden spread is super pretty, but patients live dorm-style (no renting out of entire floors, Brit) and a big exciting evening involves taco day at the communal cafeteria.
Betty Ford clinic, Rancho Mirage, CA
Who They Treated: Who haven’t they treated? Elizabeth Taylor checked in for addiction to pills and booze, famously, but other alums include William Hurt, Ali MacGraw, Billy Joel, Drew Barrymore, Johnny Cash and, most recently, Keith Urban
Scene: Super minimalist - Betty Ford is not a place where your masseuse is also your shrink. Accommodations are spare, the food will remind you of college, and TV and cell phones are forbidden.
Silver Hill Hospital, New Cannan, CT
Who They Treated: Edie Sedgwick, Mariah Carey, Truman Capote, Billy Joel
Scene: Ivy-covered elegance buffers serious treatment at this lush, Connecticut compound for recovery, featuring Tudor-style cottages with distinguished names.
Sierra Tucson, Tucson, AZ
Who They Treated: Michael Douglas, Robert Downy Jr., Ringo Starr, Rob Lowe, Bijou Philips
Scene: New age philosophy meets idyllic, southwestern, cactus-centric, chic at this crunchy rehab spot. The elaborate spa menu concerns us, but if they treated Michael Douglas’ rumored sex addiction, how lax can they be.
Priory Clinic, London, England
Who They Treated: Pete Doherty, lots of British reality TV stars you’ve never heard of
Scene: Glamorous almost celebs stroll on manicured, Jane Austen-esque lawns, indulge in occasional fling with staff (in 2005 the Priory Group had to fend off allegations of sexual misconduct by doctors working at the clinic).
[via W Magazine]

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