Britney Needs to Be Institutionalized in Actual Institution

3/5/07, 11:45 am EST

Britney SpearsOver the weekend Britney Spears decided that she was the anti-Christ. The pop star, who is staying at the Promises rehab facility in Malibu, reportedly wrote the number 666 across her head, terrorized staff members by screaming “I am the anti-Christ,” then attempted to hang herself with a bedsheet.

Britney’s situation has obviously gone from alarming to dangerous, and the jokers at that glorified spa she’s vacationing at don’t seem equipped to save her. We’ve done the research and selected a few hardcore, beach-less facilities she should consider. They may not have 500-thread-count sheets, but one of these places could save her life.

Hazelden, Center City, MN
Who They Treated: Eric Clapton, Matthew Perry, Steven Tyler, Marianne Faithfull
Scene: The 500-acre Hazelden spread is super pretty, but patients live dorm-style (no renting out of entire floors, Brit) and a big exciting evening involves taco day at the communal cafeteria.

Betty Ford clinic, Rancho Mirage, CA
Who They Treated: Who haven’t they treated? Elizabeth Taylor checked in for addiction to pills and booze, famously, but other alums include William Hurt, Ali MacGraw, Billy Joel, Drew Barrymore, Johnny Cash and, most recently, Keith Urban
Scene: Super minimalist - Betty Ford is not a place where your masseuse is also your shrink. Accommodations are spare, the food will remind you of college, and TV and cell phones are forbidden.

Silver Hill Hospital, New Cannan, CT
Who They Treated: Edie Sedgwick, Mariah Carey, Truman Capote, Billy Joel
Scene: Ivy-covered elegance buffers serious treatment at this lush, Connecticut compound for recovery, featuring Tudor-style cottages with distinguished names.

Sierra Tucson, Tucson, AZ
Who They Treated: Michael Douglas, Robert Downy Jr., Ringo Starr, Rob Lowe, Bijou Philips
Scene: New age philosophy meets idyllic, southwestern, cactus-centric, chic at this crunchy rehab spot. The elaborate spa menu concerns us, but if they treated Michael Douglas’ rumored sex addiction, how lax can they be.

Priory Clinic, London, England
Who They Treated: Pete Doherty, lots of British reality TV stars you’ve never heard of
Scene: Glamorous almost celebs stroll on manicured, Jane Austen-esque lawns, indulge in occasional fling with staff (in 2005 the Priory Group had to fend off allegations of sexual misconduct by doctors working at the clinic).

[via W Magazine]


Comments

Dr. Ralph | 3/8/2007, 2:56 pm EST

WTF??? I’ve had wilder weekends than Brit-Brit and nobody ever thought about institutionalizing me. Poor girl just needs a little space. Keep the damn cameras away and she’ll be fine. Hell if we had to look at some of the things we’ve done on the front page of the Enquirer/Star we might all be a little more sympathetic. Come on down and spend the week with Dr. Ralph honey, I’ll straighten you out! (Don’t forget the Marilyn wig, and bring a black one too!)

Gilbert | 3/7/2007, 10:07 pm EST

It’s ironic that a magazine the glorifies drug use is giving addiction advice. I’m no prude but given the amount of coverage in RS about illicet drug (hello, Austin Skaggs? Does every celebrity interview need the drug reference in the upper righthand column?) Cover it as needed, but don’t use it as a crutch just because reporters can’t dig for real news, or worse yet, discover there is no real news with so many of these pop tarts.

cletisp | 3/6/2007, 7:01 pm EST

she’s the Milli Vanilli of her generation!
haven’t we wasted enough time with the trial and tribulations of a 25yr old has been?
isn’t it time to move on and care about people who actually make music and not these spoon feeding pop machine douche bags
FUCK HER!

Peter | 3/6/2007, 4:07 pm EST

Instead of enabling her even further, they should just institutionlalise her, cause this is not helping her at all.
As to the validity of the article, I think her family would have as in the past, so quickly sued for lies….. which they have not done nor come up with statements about it’s untruth. I think it’s real, and she needs a reality check - cause her vacation in there ain’t it.

susan | 3/6/2007, 12:14 pm EST

I agree with “hello she’s crazy”. She’s acting like someone with bi-polar some post partum which are both being exacerabated by alcohol and drugs. I just read where her cousin is having to stay in rehab with her because she wants to leave. Club Med isn’t going to help her. She needs more serious mental help out of hollywood. And they have said the whole anti-christ thing isn’t true. Although if she checks out without getting the kind of help she truly needs I wouldn’t be surprised if she dosen’t end up like Anna Nicole.

Blob | 3/6/2007, 11:25 am EST

This reminded me of one of the stories Matt Taibbi wrote in the Low Post. He commented on how Fox News and other “news” stations pull stories off the web that are’nt true and run with them…Did someone on this staff not read that??? Leave the poor girl alone already!!!

rockandrollgirl | 3/6/2007, 9:21 am EST

I read on AOL that this entire story was a fabricated story written by a British tabloid…and the details make me more prone to believe AOL then RS. I think you all should be 100% sure before writing or re-writing some of the things you just read on the web. This girl is damaged enough, spreading false stories like this isn’t helping her…if that is actual what you are trying to do!

Michael Jackson | 3/6/2007, 5:52 am EST

Having young children can seriously affect your mental health-just look at me…

PATHETIC ED. | 3/6/2007, 5:50 am EST

I KNOW ONE THANG, I DO LIKES TO “GET OFF” ON A PRETTY WOMEN WITH A NICELY SHAPED BALD HEAD… THIS REALLY GETS ME OFF!
PATHETIC ED.

Martin | 3/6/2007, 5:27 am EST

Maybe all her craziness is due to drug-induced Disney hallucinations and flashbacks. Probably got fucked by Mickey himself when she was a mouseketeer. Except her to go “Donnie Darko” any day now.

Javier | 3/6/2007, 2:48 am EST

she really needs lots of love, i hope she finds a way-to open her heart to the people who really cares for her.

HELLO SHE'S CRAZY | 3/6/2007, 12:11 am EST

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills, no one wants to talk about the possibility that she may be suffering from mental illness and the substance abuse is merely a symptom emerging from her self-medicating…Treat the mental illness, many times the substance abuse problem will disappear or at least become possible to deal with. But I don’t think she belongs in rehab– she belongs in a mental hospital, and there is nothing wrong with that. Anyone who’s been where she is can see the look in her eyes and know that she needs to be committed.

lik roper | 3/5/2007, 11:30 pm EST

yup; the california child abduction agency will likely take brits’ kids away, and that’s too bad…

Tim | 3/5/2007, 11:13 pm EST

I don`t think Brit`s even aware that her recent behavior matters one way or another, concerning custody of her own children. But the California department of human services is reading the papers like everyone else. She`s going to lose custody.

zach | 3/5/2007, 10:42 pm EST

She was never that talented or sexy, but she’s still a human being, there I said it. Get ahold of yourself girl. Take it seriously, crack kills.

wherezthubeef? | 3/5/2007, 10:08 pm EST

Brit’s just going through her Charlie Manson phase, which all great artists inevitably do. Who knows, with any luck, maybe she’ll go pull a Squeaky Fromme and try to shoot the president.

Pleeeaaase???

Icare | 3/5/2007, 8:16 pm EST

I think this girl has had a serious breakdown, and has substance and alcohol problems…she should be somewhere protected from these things to get well and be the Britney she wants to be

Michael | 3/5/2007, 8:05 pm EST

I think Britney is a dipshit, but I do have to agree with the fellow above. Rolling Stone should support her a little better. This article is trash (meaning:really tacky). She has a serious disease and she sold you serious amounts of issues when she was 1/2 naked with the telephone. How soon we forget about your kiddie porn.

lik roper | 3/5/2007, 7:57 pm EST

what about when i played air guitar/pool cue along with two ratt songs last saturday night at karaoke? that was a pretty crazy thing to do…what would spock think of that?

eric | 3/5/2007, 7:28 pm EST

britney’s been listening to too much slayer.

i have no doubt this story is true, and i find it hilarious!

Canic | 3/5/2007, 7:02 pm EST

three words for anyone who idolizise Brit., “Dont Do Meth!”

Kelly | 3/5/2007, 5:53 pm EST

About time someone spoke the truth about her. Everyone’s talking about the view at Promises and their thread count and gourmet meals, but not a single person is talking about whether or not their therapy and doctors are any good. You wonder why that is. Anyway, Britney’s already controlling the doctors. She’s got herself her own little wing in that place. She doesn’t trust the other patients not to sell her out to the press, so we know that she;s not going to delve to much into her emotions while she’s there. She walk out of that place even worse than she was before she went in there.

theuntamedbuffalo | 3/5/2007, 5:36 pm EST

I masterbated to the antichrist? I guess I am going to hell.

lik roper | 3/5/2007, 4:44 pm EST

i wouldn’t worry until britney’s head starts spinning and she starts throwing up pea soup or something…

Mightyquinn | 3/5/2007, 4:37 pm EST

How about a location where people are grounded and good treatment is offered? Many celebrities have gone through treatment at Cumberland Heights in Nashville. Percs lead to entitlement and indulgence. No percs allowed.

Fyodor Dostoevsky | 3/5/2007, 4:20 pm EST

fame’s a sad story retold “time after time after time” I reckon

lik roper | 3/5/2007, 4:13 pm EST

i understand the behavioral archetype and/or model for the modern human centers around mister spock, but mister spock is not human, he’s fucking vulcan!

and how come RS said they like kelis for being crazy, but not britney!? how come you like crazy black people but not crazy white ones!?

Lumpy | 3/5/2007, 4:02 pm EST

I’m just glad Courtney’s clean.

Lumpy | 3/5/2007, 4:00 pm EST

Umm, Marianne Faithfull and B. Spears should NOT be metioned in the same article, kapeesh?????!

BTW, what was Mariah Carey in for?? Well, whatever it was, they sure didn’t cure her two most, umm, noteworthy attributes: 1., her tilted-headed fake smiles, and 2., that faux-Monroe waving thing she does everytime she accepts an award… God, she’s horrific!

lik roper | 3/5/2007, 3:59 pm EST

fame and sanity should not be in the same building together…

M | 3/5/2007, 3:38 pm EST

I hope Britney feels the love and support of her fans and takes some time to get herself together…for her children’s sake.

Love cup | 3/5/2007, 3:13 pm EST

Hang in there Brit you make my nips sing.

:)

bilo | 3/5/2007, 2:41 pm EST

i love britney

Dude-Man | 3/5/2007, 2:17 pm EST

pretty sure the story about the 666 and bedsheet hanging is bogus. i mean, that story did originate in a british tabloid so…

Vagina | 3/5/2007, 1:43 pm EST

Rehab is for quitters.

John | 3/5/2007, 1:31 pm EST

PS..Who cares?

Lee | 3/5/2007, 1:06 pm EST

I think Edie Sedgwick did stay at Silver Hill. So did her brother - I think he actually did kill himself AT Silver Hill.

What about McLean Hospital outside of Boston? They treated Sylvia Plath and Ray Charles.

Watchdog | 3/5/2007, 1:05 pm EST

Rolling Stone was all about Ms. Spears when she was hot and a pop princess. She garnered covers, accolades, and adoring praise from RS in the day. But now you should really be a bit more supportive of your wayward girl. You broke her, you bought her.

Killa | 3/5/2007, 1:01 pm EST

How about Robbie and Brit: The Sierra Sessions? I’d buy it!

Niko | 3/5/2007, 11:55 am EST

Edie Sedgwick stayed there? didn’t she kill herself?

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