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Blogging “American Idol”: Everyone Loves a Southern Boy

2/28/07, 1:10 pm EST

American IdolCongratulations, Sundance! After you sang “Mustang Sally” on last night’s American Idol, Paula proclaimed, “That’s like the best vocal I think we EVER HEARD!” Well put, Paula. She’s crazy, obviously, but it was a whole lot better than “Nights in White Satin.” Sundance has learned what side his bread’s buttered on, and he took the lead last night by giving the old ladies at home what they want: a nice husky Southern boy with good manners (he even calls Ryan Seacrest “sir”), lots of Bo Bice winks and a King Tut beard. The other dudes are still struggling, probably realizing it doesn’t matter since Lakisha Jones is going to roast them all. Howard Jones look-alike Blake Lewis did his “vocal turntablism” on a version of Jamiroquai’s “Virtual Insanity,” but he was more fun last week with his blatant Morrissey imitation. (Request for Blake: “I Know It’s Over!”) Chris Sligh, still doing the Jack Osborne class-clown shtick at 28, revealed he’s married to an apparently real nice girl, but he’s still grating. A.J. Tabaldo’s voice is like a lard bath, but it’s never going to win him a date with Antonella. So who’s going home?

  1. Brandon Rogers. After singing a colon-unloadingly terrible version of Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time,” he patiently explained to the judges that it couldn’t possibly suck, since (a) his grandma was very nice, (b) it was his dad’s birthday and (c) “I was trying to feel the song and give it to you.” Eeeewww.
  2. Sanjaya Malakar. We love him — he’s the Indian El DeBarge — but the best thing he has going for him is his hair, and last night he hid it under that Michael Jackson fedora. His version of Irving Berlin’s “Steppin’ Out With My Baby” was his way of pleading, “Let me go home, America. I miss my sister. And I left school and got my GED but maybe it’s not too late to try the SAT’s again?”

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Comments

merik | 9/2/2007, 3:42 pm EST

hello world!

Deaf & dumb | 3/24/2007, 5:59 pm EST

This character is a joke - it’s in to outsource non-talent to india,
as well as everything else

skippy | 2/28/2007, 7:58 pm EST

mrs. skippy luvs blake the best. i couldn’t care less.

benji | 2/28/2007, 7:01 pm EST

SUNDANCE IS WIPIN’ THE FLOOR…GREAT VOICE…VERY COOL GUY!

an-indian | 2/28/2007, 6:33 pm EST

hey rollingstones thanks for the indian slurs… god knows a dignified magazine like u have to be racist. but what amazes me is that u single out the contestant of indian origin. i have not heard any racist comments about any other contestant. also you’re not funny!!

dylan | 2/28/2007, 6:25 pm EST

chris s is like so far one of the best on there his performance last night was second only to sundance and last week simon was out of his freaking mind chris is one of the best guys and him and sundance are really the only guys with any orginalality and of course blake but thas gonna get old pretty soon

emo | 2/28/2007, 5:52 pm EST

Paula Abdul’s career makes me cry :’(

TJ | 2/28/2007, 3:38 pm EST

Dude, what’s with Chris S. hating? He’s the only original guy on the freaking program.

LaKisha Jones and Melissa Doolittle are also riding on the coattails of the overrated Jennifer Hudson, so why should they win? They are like every other black female on the program, “Full of soul and class”, but it gets old after the second time I’ve heard “And I Am Telling You I Am Not Going”.

You can have a good voice, but that doesn’t mean you’re a good artist.

durst | 2/28/2007, 3:27 pm EST

sanjaya the dot head is painful to listen to.hes also prolly gay.

I hate Mike Anthony | 2/28/2007, 2:51 pm EST

Rob, are you posting on your own article again as swineherder?

Mike | 2/28/2007, 2:48 pm EST

That’s some good stuff. “Colon-unloadingly terrible version…”
Great…and how true.

Sanjaya’s gone for sure….don’t know about Brandon.

Easy on Chris Sligh though. You watch…he’s going deep. I predict top 5 (possibly the last guy standing, as a girl is for sure winning it this year).

AI-elfshu will win | 2/28/2007, 2:24 pm EST

Ginger Snaps | 2/28/2007, 2:09 pm EST

I have to say, I wish Rob was right, but for some reason people are voting for Sanjaya regardless of how spine-tinglingly mediocre his performances are.

Betty | 2/28/2007, 2:04 pm EST

I love Blake!

johnny | 2/28/2007, 1:54 pm EST

what about nick pedro (fever) he was pretty sucky too

Boner | 2/28/2007, 1:36 pm EST

Hey, I’m not done fucking with Tibet.

swineherder | 2/28/2007, 1:20 pm EST

Rob Sheffield is a genius and everyone should turn off American Idol and read his amazing book which just came out.

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