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Britney Enters Rehab, Version 2.0

2/20/07, 4:20 pm EST

Britney SpearsSentence most likely to be overused in 2007: “Britney enters rehab.” After a whirlwind week, which included an ill-fated trip to the ironically named Crossroad’s rehab facility in Antigua, the acquisition of two new tattoos and a clean head shave, and several raucous evenings out, Britney is apparently back on the wagon.

Today, Spears’ representative Larry Rudolph announced that the hairless pop star has entered another facility. “Britney Spears has voluntarily checked herself into an undisclosed rehab facility today,” Rudolph reportedly said. “We ask that the media respect her privacy as well as those of her family and friends at this time.”

Let’s hope it’s a legit clinic, and not one of those combo rehab/spa resorts spitting distance from Hyde.

Check out our make-your-own-punk-rock-Britney photo gallery, and educate yourself with ace political writer Matt Taibbi’s enticing piece “Medicare vs. Britney,” which looks at “why a brainless Mouseketeer gets more ink than the federal budget.” Hot.


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Comments

great fucking article | 9/13/2007, 11:23 pm EST

e.t. hosts should have to read it as a loop until their lungs give out and their lives and ratings end. then bush, like a tearful jimmy swaggart, should be forced to spend his remaining days on the crying channel, the only show thereon being the one in which the fucking monkey confesses what he tried to get away with. But of course life just isn’t just like that…(and nobody’d pay any attention to it anyway)

Chris | 4/3/2007, 4:42 pm EST

geee, Max, you obviously missed the point, as well.

Taibbi was only pointing out the fact that Bush’s budget SHOULD have been bigger news than Britney’s rehab stints. But it wasn’t.

Why? Probably because the news media is catering to their paying demographic (via advertisers and what not). That’s capitalism.

And it’s sad really, the way your argument defends Bush’s gutting of social programs that you probably use yourself.

Max | 3/15/2007, 12:01 pm EST

What a bunch of Screw-Anybody-Who-Makes-More-M oney-Than-I-Do Bullshit this tripe is. So what’s the new rule, Matt? We’ll just let abunch of unelected boneheads like….like, gee, like YOU…who answer to NOBODY, by the way… to decide which INDIVIDUAL FAMILIES should have money, how much they should have, how much they should pay in taxes (including, apparently HUNDREDS of billions) all because YOU never got the GI Joe with the Kung-Fu Grip? I guess the power to tax truly is the power to destroy; what the hell are your questionable credentials for being permitted to wield it? Grow up; get a better job.

jonny11 | 3/3/2007, 4:17 am EST

jonny17

metalgirl | 3/2/2007, 4:27 pm EST

i don’t mean to be petty but people like ciaobella need to finish reading things before they comment on them. you must have the attention span of a peanut.

metalgirl | 3/2/2007, 4:22 pm EST

*applause* i speculate the reason why people are less attracted to political issues effecting their own civil rights and tax dollars is because they are, sadly, not educated enough to understand them. i suspect the article Matt Taibbi wrote would not be understood by the majority of people who perused it. they probably just took a glance, felt intimidated or indifferent when the word “medicare” popped up, and stopped reading.

in my opinion, most people are only interested by intrigue and gossip and are only able to read and comprehend the most basic forms of english. i’m not just talking about immigrants from 3rd world or less countries, i’m talking about people who are born and raised here and whose families have lived here for hundreds of years.

and they want to cut funding for public education even further?

i’d like to add that i’m just pissed about the whole britney thing because i wanted to shave my head a while ago but now i can’t because she’s now started a trend. damn her! karma’s a bitch, britney!

DeezNutz | 2/28/2007, 2:18 pm EST

Good article, Matt. Too bad hardly any of the posters here bothered to read the thing. I’m kind of ashamed to be an American right now. It’s truly disgusting.

Horsepeppers | 2/28/2007, 2:03 am EST

The only media analysis missing, is what did CNN 360, with Anderson ShitPussy say about Britney and can she die a younger death than Anna Nicole? I sure hope so.

Matt | 2/26/2007, 8:34 pm EST

What’s more disturbing than Britney shaving her head? Bush’s tax plan!

What’s more disturbing than Bush’s tax plan? What these degernerates are posting after reading this article.

The point Taibbi was making is that we are inundated with celebrity gossip, etc. and missing the real issues. We are blind to what’s really at stake and, after Taibbi points this out to us, all you people can do is post about Britney!

Long live Guy Debord!

Anthony | 2/24/2007, 3:30 am EST

Oh, were you talking about my column? No, it wasn’t about Britney
WWF Wrestler 2007, She’s a metaphor, um, kinda like Peter Pan Peanut Butter. Why I threw in OB, in there, well, it’s a helluva cage match! Quit picking on the mentally ill! Do you realize we get no funding from Medicare part “D”ick Cheney? Do you even know there’s also Medicare Part A, B, and C, and a M Plan, well, sorta; Dr. Suess hasn’t finished up entirely on your tax dollars for the aged and disabled. Don’t grow old too fast and eat too much mercury, hear it’s bad for you. Don’t go out and get a TBI T-BONED Bummer in a fancy schmancy wreck, your payroll taxes went to stuff a potato in the exhaust of a Hummer. It was sure as hell funny when you went to start up that rig, y’all! He he…Wake up and realize your Mouseketeer Threat Level Red is on the campaign trail. It’s in the Octogon! My hard earned paycheck, minus taxation without representation is on the line!

Lord Garth | 2/23/2007, 4:20 pm EST

Spears hasn’t had a record out in years. Maybe she’s freaking out because she’s too old to appeal to 12-year-olds anymore and realizes she doesn’t have a second act. Did anybody READ this article?! About the budget, and stuff? Do you care at all?

rtfa | 2/23/2007, 11:17 am EST

this column is NOT about britney spears!

I’ve noticed that alternet usually posts Taibbi’s columns before RollingStone.com does. (this one was up on wednesday). Also, the alternet posts appear to be raw, unedited material from Taibbi.

Buddha | 2/23/2007, 10:46 am EST

Blaming victims is just wrong.
Or do you beleive that someone
DESERVES to be raped? Or killed?
My, my, such “low consciousness.”
Instead of all this bull, why not
dream of and act as if we had a
perfect world of peace and harmony
for all. Listen to “Imagine” and
“instant karma” by Lennon over and over and maybe you’ll “Get IT”.
The evil bushies have sealed their
fate; follow them and you will also. Oh, and the SECRET is almost
as good as my teachings….at least
an introduction. Peace.

ciaobella | 2/23/2007, 10:43 am EST

First of all you don’t need to be calling that baby an imbecile. She has nothing to do with Katie or what the CBS evening news covers. Get over your self righteous self. Don’t be so naive. They get more ink because it what makes more MONEY!

Gulius | 2/23/2007, 6:02 am EST

¨She gets more ink because magazines like this one give it to her, plain and simple.¨

Good point.

Anthony | 2/23/2007, 2:34 am EST

Matt, here’s my proposed bill, the event of this decade, but follow me first: you have a well founded happy go lucky Fuck Sucky slam on Britney, which truly represents a metaphor for the Neocon-theMan. She’s just another version of raising the Terror Alert
to Orange, disguised as the no panty primadonna to confuse. And dumb ass americans wanna see that fat sweaty beaver. It’s turning me the other way; I’m starting to get an inkling to see Amy Goodman hit the pantyless craze.
Did you see the Red State Road Trip documenary? The dumb ass deserve everything they get, nothing. Need more proof?
Let’s Look at the people who posted here on Medicare Vs. Britney, who’ve never read you, obviously: “i love Britney”,
“Don’t hit her when she’s down”, “Blah blah”. These flies were attracted to your column by the smell of that stinky Oxicotin rotten clam.

You stated in your last web column here that you were on the fence about Obama–by far the most positive Matt hair plug, push, and endorsement i’ve ever read from you about a polititan…and I’m an “eXiled Beast! Deadly Serious though, if a Democractic candidate, master orator like Obama, doesn’t play kiss ass bullshit middle ground to some of the corporate elite, he gets neoconned coudeta, the same ol coupe de grass that vibrant rhetoric masters received in 1968. That’s what’s really scary if you ask me. RFK and MLK were a threat to Petoleum Candy Bars in 1968.
Obama might just be a stem-cell clone cross of them both. He’s gotta play his cards right, He’s that good to make the $ elite squirm…again, in these times, it’s fucking scary. For Obama– Obama Fence posting, makes good red state neighbors. Obama Vs. Britney, Cage Match 2008!
That’s the ticket. I bet if he can give Britney a mean ass whooping noogie to that bald Britney head, daze her, then jump to the top of the turn buckle and body slam her, he’s a shoe in. I can hear the red faced fans in Biloxi Mississippi Gulf Coast Casino screaming now in excitement! Now Obama’s on their level, the man who kicked and gave a well deserved Britney Spear’s ass whoooopin, and the next President of the United States!

Tara | 2/22/2007, 12:55 pm EST

I completely agree that real news should get more coverage, and the article on Bush’s budget is alarming to say the least. It illustrates splendidly why every American who cares about the country should be trying to get that idiot impeached- or at least be looking long and hard at how to get him and all who are associated with him out of political power.

That said, I hardly think it’s fair to attack Britney Spears because the budget hasn’t received enough press. I think it’s incredibly cruel to kick someone while she’s down. I think she must be in poor emotional and mental health, and I don’t think it’s funny or appropriate to take one’s anger at the world, the system, etc. out on someone who is vulnerable.

Mathieu | 2/22/2007, 1:12 am EST

FUCK britany. did you actually read the article. Matt Taibbi is right,

“Shit, when you think about it that way, why not steal from us? People that dumb don’t deserve to have money.”

www.myspace.com/vel vetnoose

Christ | 2/21/2007, 4:11 pm EST

Nobody read the article, apparently.

*rolls eyes*

Jason Cooney | 2/21/2007, 2:33 pm EST

Subliminal! When I saw someone call her a lousy role model, my first thought was that she had lice. Puns are fun.

Paris Hilton Eats Chihuahuas | 2/20/2007, 11:34 pm EST

I love Britney. I can’t get enough of her bold, bald new look. I want to dip her bald head in oil and rub it all over my naked, spread-eagled body. She is a Goddess , deserving of all the worship she receives from the media, the press and YOU. The only piece of the puzzle missing now is a revealing photo spread in Playboy. That would be heaven on Earth!

lik roper | 2/20/2007, 11:20 pm EST

britney is totally wigging out…

Scratch | 2/20/2007, 9:15 pm EST

she s kinda like a Manson girl now

ishy wit it | 2/20/2007, 7:07 pm EST

I think yr all douches.

Britney looks 200% hotter with the shaved head and 150% more human.

northern neighbour | 2/20/2007, 6:14 pm EST

Massive Hair Wig Out

Take 2

Angela Spalding | 2/20/2007, 6:14 pm EST

I just hope the press give the poor girl a break while she sorts herself out. Good luck Britney, your a beautiful, talented and good person. You have so many people rooting for you xx

T | 2/20/2007, 6:03 pm EST

DO IT FOR YOUR CHILDREN !

Andres | 2/20/2007, 5:53 pm EST

Im so proud of u Britney! i love u! :D

she's a very kinky girl!! | 2/20/2007, 5:48 pm EST

I feel Brittany is a lousy role model and needs to get over herself. She is seriously emotionally ill and Fed-Ex is starting to look like a stand-up guy compared to her. Imagine showing your pootang for all to see! Bet her kids will be real proud!

sameera | 2/20/2007, 5:34 pm EST

i love britney. proud that u took this step, take your time. we your fans will be waiting for u arms open whe u return!!!

Donald | 2/20/2007, 5:34 pm EST

I think it’s time to play Warren Zevon’s “Detox Mansion” in honor of Ms. Spears.

J Noles | 2/20/2007, 5:25 pm EST

Just imagine if she died tomorrow, CNN would be running the headline for longer than they have been so far with Anna Nicole… Disappearing into obscurity does not seem likely.

dakota | 2/20/2007, 5:17 pm EST

All fall down…..Good luck ya talentless piece of shit. Go take care of your kids.Also take Paris and Lindsey and all the other vicodin roasted hags. Later dudes…

high_ball | 2/20/2007, 5:03 pm EST

oops…..she did it again

BRIT = GOD | 2/20/2007, 4:45 pm EST

KNOW BRIT
KNOW GOD…

that is all.REV-ABH

anonymous | 2/20/2007, 4:44 pm EST

She gets more ink because magazines like this one give it to her, plain and simple.

JudasConstant | 2/20/2007, 4:23 pm EST

What a courtney love rip-off.

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