An article of clothing that closely resembles the Pashmina we bought the other day on Sixth Avenue is for sale on eBay for $455.00. The price is justified because, according to the seller, it is in fact the actual bandanna Prince wore during his racy halftime show at the Super Bowl. “I was lucky enough to catch Prince’s black bandana when he throw [sic] it off stage last night during the superbowl,” the seller explains. “It still even smells like hairspray and sweat. Its all dry now, but still kool, its like having prince right there with you!!!”

This object sounds really gross, but is it real?

According to eBay’s music memorabilia authenticity terms, your guess is as good as theirs. Though they will point you in the direction of a collection of reputable online authentication sites, they aren’t accountable for these evaluators’ findings. “The opinions expressed by evaluators are theirs alone. eBay does not examine items listed on its site and does not have the expertise to evaluate items.” Great.

So how is one to tell whether or not that gum chewed “by Drew Barrymore herself” was actually moistened by the movie star’s very own salivary glands? You can’t. But here’s are a few tips for avoiding a major eBay bidsaster.

• If it’s tasteful, it’s probably not really Elton John’s.
• If the item is an extra large piece of clothing, it probably never belonged to Prince, Glenn Danzig, Ronnie James Dio or Kylie Minogue.
• John Lennon never wrote on an iBook. Make sure the “handwritten” Beatles lyrics you’re mortgaging the house to bid on aren’t typed in a swanky “handwriting” font.
• If you saw the same shirt last week at Wal-Mart it probably is Britney Spears’.
• Ask yourself: Do I really want Drew Barrymore’s gum? Indulge in a viewing of Bad Girls (not to be confused with Mad Love, a deceptively good film) and have a talk with You. What needs are you trying to satisfy with Drew’s ABC Trident?