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Rockers: Atone for Your Sins

2/2/07, 11:53 am EST

Ozzy

In addition to thinking up creative ways of keeping his brethren at home, Ozzy Osbourne is apparently attempting to undo some of the damage he’s done with his music. Osbourne, whose literally deafening brand of rock has been bursting ear drums since 1969, was scheduled to appear yesterday at an NFL charity event at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida to distribute $1 million worth of hearing aids to children in need. We were so moved by Ozzy’s desire to contribute to world hearing rather than detract from it, that we thought we’d suggest a few other acts of atonement other artist should consider.

  • Keith Richards/Pete Doherty/Courtney Love/Any Other Drug Abusing Rocker should found a rehab clinic.
  • Morrissey should buy lapdances for all the sensitive, celibate boys he inspired/crippled.
  • Marilyn Manson should found a bible study camp, donate to the Society for the Prevention of Child Abuse.
  • Brandon Flowers should launch an emo record label.

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Comments

Wendy Weissman | 2/5/2007, 12:27 am EST

likroper…… No. And I mean NO.

psyco dork | 2/4/2007, 7:05 pm EST

Maybe brandon flowers should have to become a satanist And/or date the pretty emo boys.

lik roper | 2/4/2007, 3:09 pm EST

and i could help wendy weissman have a baby!

Skullfreak | 2/4/2007, 11:00 am EST

Cobain is dead.

barrel | 2/3/2007, 9:35 am EST

willie nelson and snoop dogg should start an anti-drug coalition

Wendy Weissman | 2/2/2007, 7:59 pm EST

Amy Winehouse needs to open a Bono fansite.

50 cent should star in his own hugs not drugs campaign

Green Day should donate to the national department of sanitation

Jared Leto (not a rock star but whatever) needs to start a charity devoted to loving hobbits and a dance school

Arctic Monkeys could start their own anti-smoking campaign

Gerard Way could donate to any charity that takes care of toxic chemicals

Any rapper could help stop global warming

Brock Landers | 2/2/2007, 6:45 pm EST

Courtney Love should open her own Rehab Center!

abandonedstation | 2/2/2007, 4:55 pm EST

bilo…

U2 are gonna have to try really, really, really hard not to suck so much (we’re talking about inventing-a-time-machine-and-g oing-back-to-1987 type trying)

sharon | 2/2/2007, 4:30 pm EST

suicude solution

bilo | 2/2/2007, 4:29 pm EST

US should try not to suck so much

Boner | 2/2/2007, 4:01 pm EST

The Killers suck.

Jake Burns | 2/2/2007, 3:23 pm EST

Gary Glitter should work with sexually abused kids.
Banjo, shouldn’t Vince Neil work with MADD? He is the moron that killed Razzle, the drummer from Hanoi Rocks.
System of a Down should work with an environmental group for all of the noise pollution that they foist upon us.

lik roper | 2/2/2007, 3:08 pm EST

is weed a drug?

RedSG | 2/2/2007, 2:49 pm EST

Pete Townshend should be joining Ozzy on this one.

Harry Balsognia | 2/2/2007, 2:47 pm EST

Crappy bands around the world should start up a cult which is founded on ritual suicide

Kelly osborne is ozzy's brothe | 2/2/2007, 2:40 pm EST

she sure is

The Grubby 1 | 2/2/2007, 2:23 pm EST

If brandon flowers set up an emo label wouldnt people hate him SOOO much more? That would definitly not be contributing to society. Maybe a site which encourages bands would be in order though…

nick | 2/2/2007, 1:34 pm EST

Pete Wentz should start a boxing gym.

That pussy can’t fight.

Oh and a ball farm were he can grow some.

TheLawyer | 2/2/2007, 12:57 pm EST

Sting and Rogers Waters should start a clinic to help themselves and others lose their ridiculous egos.

Marc | 2/2/2007, 12:55 pm EST

The reason why he should start an emo record label is because he hates emo…but obviously you dont see the pattern thats going on here.

Grand | 2/2/2007, 12:54 pm EST

Oasis and The Black Crowes should start a family therapy center.

Banjo | 2/2/2007, 12:44 pm EST

Nikki Sixx should do charity work for MADD

Buster C | 2/2/2007, 12:42 pm EST

Thom Yorke sohuld support some kind of group to teach rock critics what people outside of New York actually listen to.

jill hives | 2/2/2007, 12:42 pm EST

paul mccartney, willie nelson and snoop dogg should team up to build medicinal marijuana dispensaries - maybe these places wouldn’t get raided so often if they had some celebrity clout behind them.

dougie | 2/2/2007, 12:28 pm EST

Michael Jackson should contribute to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. And he should never go anywhere near a child again.

Oddjob | 2/2/2007, 12:22 pm EST

Kelly Osbourne is not Ozzy’s brother.

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