Beastie boys:

“Everybody’s rappin’ like it’s a commercial
acting like life is a big commercial”

I know commercial isn’t easy to rhyme, but there has to be something.

they called zimmerman the worst? Maybe I’ll concede that some of Bob’s lyrics are weird (and I was never able to wrap my head around the ‘lumberjacks’ line, either), but I think all of others on the top twenty are actually bad. The verse quoted from Ballad of a Thin Man has at least a decent lyrical rhythm to it.
And regarding Timberlake rhyming ‘back’ with ‘back’, let’s not forget the great opening cuplet to Sabbath’s ‘War Pigs’.
And the worst lyrics of all time? It is ‘Muskrat Love’ by America, no question:
Muskrat, muskrat candlelight
Doin’ the town and doin’ it right
In the evenin’
It’s pretty pleasin’
Muskrat Susie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
And they shimmy
And Sammy’s so skinny
And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin’ and jingin’ the jango
Floatin’ like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love
Nibbling on bacon, chewin’ on cheese
Sammy says to Susie “Honey, would you please be my missus?”
And she say yes
With her kisses
And now he’s ticklin’ her fancy
Rubbin’ her toes
Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes
As they wriggle, and Sue starts to giggle
And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin’ and jingin’ the jango
Floatin’ like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love
La da da da da …

Jay-z, on “Trouble” sounding like Michael Richards at the Laugh Factory, sounds like a leader among men:

mc little n***a, applaud, or forever burn in the fire that I spit at y’all I rebuke you little n***a/
the meek shall parish, ill roof you little n***a, Im a project terrorist, cute you little n***az/
think you in my class subsitute little n***az soon feel my wrath, I mute you little n***az/
you a little n***a, I shall abuse you little n***a, I’m a ill n***a, now shoot you little n***az/
go somewhere and play, cuz the day I loose to you little n***az, no day

50 Cent:

“In this white man’s world, I’m similar to a squirrel
Lookin for a slut wit a nice butt to get a nut”

…Because you can’t get arrested for robbing a thesaurus.

This whole site is now stupid as hell.

Justin Timberlake’s crime isn’t rhyming back with back. The crime is the 45 times he sings “Go ahead, be gone with it” in a four minute song. The worse crime is people actually buying it.

Jay-Z “Beach Chair”:
I don’t wanna wake up/Thirty odd years without having my cake up…..I don’t know why we here/Since we gotta be here.
Maybe he should have stayed retired.

I have to agree with Rob, sadly. What happened to good music news and reviews? A little reader feedback on a stupidfunny subject like bad rhymes is fine, but as the lead story? Give me an effing break.

If you start this list in earnest, hate to say it but you have to take a hard look at “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Actually, you just need to take one sheepish, sidelong glance at that generational anthem to recognize its themes and thrust are er, elusive. Sorry Generation X!

But as to more comfortable targets, how about one of Madonna’s early (and yet instantly-outdated) attempts to co-opt Black and gay culture–spitting rhymes on “Vogue”:
Don’t just stand there let’s get to it,
Strike a pose there’s nothing to it.”
Two words at once! So fierce!

Once Bitten Twice Shy

“you didnt know how rock and roll looked
until you saw my picture on another guys jacket.”

just horrible. not only does it not rhyme….but what a completely dumb thing to say.

Abra, Abracadabra
I wanna reach out and grab ya
Abra, Abracadabra
[And the big punch line?]
…Abracadabra

one of the best rhymes ever. Beastie boys

“I’m like a busted up clock that cant tell time, I’m like a thick ass book thats filled with whack rhymes.”

YEAH!!!

As much as i love the artist and the album… anything from Bob Dylan’s Desire. Some of the rhymes are laughable.

Rammsteins Stripped, they just tryed to hart to rhyme in english

“stripped” was a depeche mode cover, fool

i love the song war pigs by black sabbath
but in it ozzy rhymes masses with masses
its like… unorginal the second time.

Well, I’ve always thought Sting was one of the WORST lyricists EVER.

From “Russians” off Dream of the Blue Turtles,

“In europe and america, theres a growing feeling of hysteria
Conditioned to respond to all the threats
In the rhetorical speeches of the soviets
Mr. krushchev said we will bury you
I dont subscribe to this point of view
It would be such an ignorant thing to do
If the russians love their children too

How can I save my little boy from oppenheimers deadly toy
There is no monopoly in common sense
On either side of the political fence
We share the same biology
Regardless of ideology
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the russians love their children too

There is no historical precedent
To put the words in the mouth of the president
Theres no such thing as a winnable war
Its a lie that we dont believe anymore
Mr. reagan says we will protect you
I dont subscribe to this point of view
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the russians love their children too

We share the same biology
Regardless of ideology
What might save us, me, and you
Is that the russians love their children too”

Now the sentiment might be all and good, but those rhymes are AWFUL!

My favorite “bad lyric” of all time. Bowling For Soup’s “Almost”

“I almost made out with the home coming queen,
who almost went on to be Miss Texas
but lost to a slut with much bigger breast-us”

I love it.

OASIS, Champagne Supernova, 1995 from “What’s the Story (Morning Glory)?”:

“How many special people change
How many lives are living strange
Where were you when we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball
Where were you while we were getting high?
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky”

Oasis can make some amazing sounds, but their lyics just plain suck a lot.

Fun, Fun, Fun…Beach Boys
Well she got her daddys car
And she cruised through the hamburger stand now
Seems she forgot all about the library
Like she told her old man now
And with the radio blasting
Goes cruising just as fast as she can now…

Coldplay can be good musically, but their lyrics drive me NUTS – they consistently rhyme words with the same word. Like this:

Look at earth from outer space
Everyone must find a place
Give me time and give me space
Give me real, don’t give me fake

SLOWLY walking down the hall
FASTER THAN A CANNONBALL???

Anything lyrics by fred durst

Madonna’s “American Life”..the entire lame ass rap at the end. I love Madonna, but this was by far her WORST song lyrically and musically.

Perhaps the worst “rhyme” of all time comes from Markie Mark’s song “Wildside:”

What do you, as sure as a seagull get’s webtoed.
Charles was the culprit.

- A bad metaphore (or is it more of on an anology)? Well, whatever he was going for, it doesn’t even come close to rhyming.

the Rapture:

“Holiday/Get Away/Don’t be Funny/Children’s Money”

Does that mean anything anywhere in the english speaking world??

It’s already been said, but I’d have to say it’s nearly impossible to beat Oasis’ “Champagne Supernova”-

Slowly walking down the hall/
Faster than a cannonball

I mean, seriously…

Scott,

I’m no big fan of Oasis, but I must stand up for Champagne Supernova. The lyrics you mentions are actually quite interesting. It’s irony and juxtaposition. And it’s funny.

If you take all lyrics on face value, then you are man of very limitted imagination.

i think fred durst is the worst culprit.

“now i know y’all be lovin’ this shit right here… l-i-m-p, bizkit is right here.”

he “rhymed” the word “here” with itself. it’s not really a rhyme if it’s the same word. i mean, i guess it “rhymes,” but…

die fred durst. die soon.

anything by Akon must be included on the worst rhyming list.

best rhymes list:
“But I’m a champion so I make music that’s fire, spit my soul through the wire.” -Through the Wire Kanye West

The rest of the song, however, is part of the worst rhymes.

has any song ever rhymed “hitler” with “bette midler”?

I LOVE these lyrics, but one could easily argue that they are bad rhymes.

Elvis Costello, “Possession”

You lack lust, you’re so lacklustre
Is that all the strength you can muster

Old ’97s, “Big Brown Eyes”

I’ve got issues, yeah.
Like I miss you, yeah.

Steely Dan, “Kid Charlemagne”

Is there gas in the car?
Yes, there’s gas in the car

What the fuck.

Why on Urfff is Limp Bizkit not in this???

“Andy’s Chest” by Lou Reed always cracks me up:

“If I could be anything of the things in this world that bite
Instead of being a tethered ocelot on a leash
I’d rather be your kite
And be tied to the end of your string
And flying in the air, babe, at night
Because you know what they say about honey bears
When you shave off all their baby hair
You’ve got a hairy minded big bare bear”

I think he meant it to be bad. But still, well done.

Sublime’s “What I got”….

Love’s what I got /
Don’t start a ri-ot/
Ya feel it when the dance gets hot

Phish’s “Contact”

The tires are the things on your car that make contact with the road…the car is the thing on the road that takes you back to your abode.

Every song by James Blunt.

There is never any excuse for rhyming a word with itself

All For You by Sister Hazel, where “you” is rhymed with “you” and “you”…in the Chorus!

I think Beyonce does this in her new single Irriplaceable as well…shame!

Madonna on “I Love New York”:

‘I love New York, other cities make me feel like a dork.’

‘“If you don’t like my attitude, then you can f- off/Just go to Texas, isn’t that where they golf?’

I know we’ve all thought it, but did Lourdes write that song?

http://www.anygiventu esday.info

I wish that I could fly/ Into the sky/ So very high/ Just like a dragonfly.”
- Lennie Kravtiz as prepared for Miss Shindleheim’s first grade poem assignment.

i think uranus jokes are always kinda funny…

http://www.likroper.com

Anything by Fred Durst
He rhymes shit with shit in more than one song, I think.

“chords, strings… we brings melody”- warren g. and nate dogg “regulate”

“eddie waited till he finished school, he went to LA and he got a tattoo. He met a girl out there with a tatoo too”- tom petty & the heartbrakers “great wide open”

Abracadabra- I wanna reach out and grab ya.

I laugh every time.

oh oh oh oh oh – you don’t have to go oh – oh oh oh oh – you don’t have to go oh oh oh oh oh – you don’t have to goooooooooooo…

http://www.likrop er.com

“She checks out Mozart while she does Tae-bo; reminds me that there’s room to grow”

Train, “Drops of Jupiter”

“NOW I KNOW Y’ALL BE LOVIN THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE!
L-I-M-P BIZKIT IS RIGHT HERE!

ALL MY PEOPLE THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR
‘CAUSE IF YOU DON’T CARE
THEN WE DON’T CARE!”

-Fred Durst

The two worst rhymes ever, in a row. FUCK FRED DURST.

Kash Krops is a thousand times better:

“I’m insane like Ed Gein, got cocaine in my veins
and I never abstain from the fuckin’ profane”

Where does JT rhyme “back” with “back” in “Sexyback”?

Rhyming a word with itself can be a poetic device…I like the Tom Petty lyric below.

Also, there’s a great section of the Roots’ “Adrenaline” where every line Bugsy Siegel spits ends with some form of “them”…

I always took that Oasis line as he was walking slow but fast inside because he just did coke or something.

Pixies- Debaser
Slashing up eyeballs I want you to know
Got me a movie I want you to know
God is so groovy I want you to know
Un Chien Andulusia
Gonna Grow
Grow up to be
Be a debaser

Doesn’t make sense, uses the same rhyme over and over, and still rocks harder than almost anything else. Look it up ladies and gents

Seriously? No mention of the outrageous badness of the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “Californication”?

“Space may be the final frontier
But it’s made in a Hollywood basement
Cobain can you hear the spheres
Singing songs off station to station
And Alderaan’s not far away
It’s Californication”

Which is not to mention, but I have to mention the unicorn/porn chorus…

winterlude winterlude i wanna be your
dude. bob dylan

i went to a movie the other night
the plot was groovie it was outta sight./
i wanna lick the platter
the gravy doesnt matter
it’s a cold bowl of chili when love lets you down but its the neighbors wife i’m after neil young

does he cover you like butter and
just leave you in the gutter. beck

Depeche Mode:

‘People are people so why should it be / You and I should get along so awfully’

hahahahaah – it still makes me laugh
____________-
And the guy who dissed ‘Smells like Teen Spirit’ – the lyrics are just fine. Go read the lyrics to ‘Muskrat Love’ someone downthread posted – only a Boomer could’ve written that crap
___________________

What a joke.
“Hey sugar momma, come and dance with me
The smartest thing you ever did was take a chance with me
So, what ever tickles your fancy
Girl it’s you like Sid and Nancy”

Talent in a bottle. Un-b-f’n-leivable

Well I know y’all be lovin’ this shit right here
L-I-M-P bizkit is right here

…

I know it’s been said already, but that is just TOO horrible to not be mentioned again. And again. And again.

Thoreau, Plato, Shakespeare, Dylan….NONE of them can make THIS make sense

Pavement-AT&T
“maybe somone’s gonna save me,
my heart is made of gravy”

Arthur,
Those Pixies lyrics are actually all about “Un Chien Andulusa” a short film made by Salvador Dali and Luis Brunel. And they do slice up an eyeball. You should check it out…

And Lado, its “People are people so why should it be/you and I should get along so all can see”. Its not much better this way but, being the chorus for a song about tolerance, at least it makes sense.

Eminem 3 out of 4 rhymes are the same word.

Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

where i live i can’t avoid country music. there was a brooks & dunn song called “hard workin’ man” that used the southern accent to make words rhyme that don’t. “i can ride, rope hammer and paint/do things with my hands that most men cain’t”. ugh.

To Gwip (and Arthur)–
The Dali movie is actually “Un Chien Andalou”–it’s the extra “sa” that makes the lyrics so messed up. Frank Black is still my chubbiest hero, regardless.

The Final Countdown:
We’re Heading for Venus
And still we stand tall
Cause maybe they’ve seen us
And Welcome us all, yeah

Or how about all of Summer Girls (Abercrombie and Fitch)?

Bestie Boys – Get it Together:

“I Eat The Fuckin’ Pineapple Now & Laters,
Listen To Me Now, Don’t Listen To Me Later”

They follow that line up with this one, in an attempt to explain why it sucked.

“Fuck It ‘Cause I Know I Didn’t Make It Fuckin’ Rhyme For Real,
But, Yo Technically I’m As Hard As Steel”

I always liked Rush, in “Spirit of Radio”

Begin the day with a friendly voice, a companion unobtrusive
He plays that song that’s so elusive
And the magic music makes your morning mood

It’s the cheap rhymes that really bother me. Take this recent Nickelback example that makes me want to vomit:

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we’d see the day when nobody died

Wow, the cried/lied/pride/died combo. Impressive.

I’m also wary of any song that rhymes “love” with any variant of “sent from up above”, such as Mariah Carey’s wonderfully titled “Sent From Up Above”, Britney Spears’ “Oops I Did It Again”, and many more.

to Gwip:

Do you know how to use Google? Try googling those Depeche Mode lyrics. Lado had it right; and the right way is what makes sense. They’re saying people are people so do we get along so badly?

uh, WHY do we get along so badly, even.

They’re been used by just about everybody but God, oh, God, please let there be an indefinite moratorium on the following two rhymes:
“all night” and “alright”
and
“fire” and “desire”

I actually think the movie star “rap” Madonna does in “Vogue” is quite genius: Not only does she pay homage to those who came before her, but she also transforms these people into objets d’ art

There should be a period after after “art”. Sorry about the typo.

“Not because I sing like Pavarotti
Or because I am such a hottie”
~Blessid Union Of Souls
Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me For Me)

Hey, that’s a great rhyme!

“I love you
I want to love you tender
How could I be you’re only sweet surrender
bla bla bla
Oh you’re absoluetly fine
Your lips are taste of wine
I want you to be mine” (something like that…)
That’s I want to love you tender by Armi and Danny…uggg

REO SPEEDWAGON are the kings of horrible rhymes, but they are so bad they are good. Here is a sample from Take It On The Run…

You take it on the run baby
If thats the way you want it baby
Then I dont want you around
I dont believe it
Not for a minute
Youre under the gun so you take it on the run

Youre thinking up your white lies
Youre putting on your bedroom eyes
You say youre coming home but you wont say when
But I can feel it coming
If you leave tonight keep running
And you need never look back again

My absolute favorite:
“so I realize it’s time for me to go, so I get up and jump in the vehi-co”

–”Gangsta Gangsta”, NWA

My favorite is Rod Stewart in “Maggie May” –

You laugh at all my jokes /
My love you wouldn’t have to coax

euhhh.

Fred Durst, anyone? In just about every song he’s ever done? “Here” and “here” do not rhyme, buddy boy. They do sound similar though. I wonder why?

9:05 by the Who:
I gotta feeling
in my life something is missing
its a feeling in my soul
that I cant go fishing