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Halle Berry Set to Ruin Reputation, Puffy Wants Dancing & Singing Boys and More

12/11/06, 2:32 pm EST

Halle Berry

  • Whatever hope we may have once had for actresses-turned-rock-stars was dashed by seeing Minnie Driver and Julie Delpy perform during the same SXSW one year. This is why it’s with trepidation that we report Halle Berry is apparently going to release a record of her own, entitled Halle. (Vomit.) Halle: You are super-smart, gorgeous, date that hot model guy and have a freaking Oscar. Is this really necessary?
  • Incredibly depressing reality: The officially-recognized oldest record store in the world — Spillers Records in Cardiff, Wales — which opened in 1894, is facing potential closure. No one should be surprised by this but it still feels … wrong.
  • Want to breed your goths right? Get your hands on the Rockabye Baby’s newest rock lullaby collection, which features Nine Inch Nails songs redone in rather soothing xylophone plunking.
  • Puffy’s next Making the Band Project? A collection of pop-swill-singing, invariably chart-topping dudes. The ad on MySpace explains this better than we ever could: “If you can sing, dance, look hot and are a male who is at least 18 …Diddy wants you!” Note: You are not wanted by Diddy if you are an MC or a rapper.
  • U2 concluded their apparently close to twenty month-long Vertigo tour last night in Hawaii, where guest-performers included Pear Jam’s Eddie Vedder and Mike McCready, plus Billie Joe Armstrong. Check out the set list, then hate yourself for not having been there.
  • Dolly Parton: Only woman on earth who could defend Jessica Simpson and look cool doing it. Parton, recently commented on Jessica’s embarrassing botched performance of “Nine to Five” at the Kennedy Center, where Parton was one of several honorees. “Jessica is so talented that I’m sure that someday they will be paying tribute to her, and I would be honored to perform for her,” Parton apparently said. “But I’ll probably be so nervous that I’ll forget my wig!” Be serious. Nothing could make Dolly Parton appear wigless.
  • The Arctic Monkeys have apparently collected enough tales of botched pick-ups, and pensive voice-of-our-generation-type observations for album number two. They’re reportedly in the studio now.
  • The man who goes by eBay screenname “mechadaddy” sold his rare, first-ever Velvet Underground recording on eBay for $155,401. Moral of this story: Buy vinyl you think is shitty, you could become an eighth-ish-of-a-millionaire.

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Comments

Anonymous | 12/11/2006, 3:39 pm EST

If there is hidden talent in Halle why shouldnt she bring it to the fore, dont knock it until you have heard it

Drunk and Obese | 12/11/2006, 3:40 pm EST

Actually, “mechadaddy” is the buyer of the record, not the seller.

Kudos, Goodman!

Also, find the error:

“Only woman on earth who could defend Jessica Simpson’s and look cool doing it.”

baba o riley | 12/11/2006, 3:51 pm EST

“Only woman on earth who could defend Jessica Simpson’s and look cool doing it.”

dammit, i read that sentence in context like three times because of that stray apostrophe s. i kept thinking i was reading it wrong or something.

i think she did it on purpose.

HipsterScienceAlgebraEquations | 12/11/2006, 4:20 pm EST

OHMIGOSH!!! Halle this better be good cause after CATWOMAN you are gonna need some serious pipes. I wonder what she sounds like.

anonymous | 12/11/2006, 4:47 pm EST

Someone please make the Arctic Monkeys go away. That was very gracious of Dolly Parton. Oh and it’s PEARL Jam, not Pear Jam, that’s a food.

Graham | 12/11/2006, 6:19 pm EST

I agree that correcting someone’s grammar is a dick move, but if you are paid to write then you shouldn’t have errors in your work.

JJ | 12/11/2006, 7:27 pm EST

Rumor re: Halle doing an album check your sources as well as the revised comments on concreteloop.com as well as other sources like her message board at imdb.com and/or her fan club Yahoo Chat group.

LJ | 12/11/2006, 7:42 pm EST

JJ is right nothing more than a rumor or prank. Check the sources s/he listed and not believe the other blogs or Headline News. Much ado about nothing really.

Lisa | 12/11/2006, 8:36 pm EST

me and mah gurl heard a clip of the new Halle single…and dat shit is tite!!!! cant wait for da new album!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

David | 12/11/2006, 8:37 pm EST

halle is multi-talented! i’m excited to hear more about this cd!

readytorock | 12/11/2006, 8:54 pm EST

Halle sucks.Her acting is all balls too.

Rolling Stone etal idiots | 12/11/2006, 9:26 pm EST

It is a friggin’ joke. Halle doesn’t have an album/cd coming out. Some jackass posted something on wikipedia. Don’t think Halle even gave an interview for Ebony’s December issue. Why would she do an album/cd when she’s always said she really sucks at singing. She even had some do the singing for her DD pix, don’t know if she did do the actual singing in “Why Fools Fall In Love?” even though she had a vocal coach/whether her voice was used I don’t know.

I can’t believe you idiots are taking this seriously.

Debborah | 12/11/2006, 10:16 pm EST

i love halle and i need this album!!!

farty larson | 12/11/2006, 10:17 pm EST

can we please have song clips of the songsss??

L | 12/11/2006, 10:29 pm EST

Halle has a CD? Aw hell naw!…

Renee | 12/11/2006, 10:31 pm EST

Halle having a CD and it being successful is just about as ridiculous as Master P performing on “Dancing with the Stars,” and winning!…lol…

shannon | 12/11/2006, 10:37 pm EST

i love halle, so go for it girl.
who knows she might surprise us all(please do)cause we really don’t need another jlo sound alike.

Cornelius T. Pepperpot | 12/12/2006, 12:19 am EST

Um… not wishing to jump on the i-hate-elizabeth-goodman bandwagon (Seriously guys, never mind what David Caruso says, she’s not going to have sex with you because you’re being a dick to her)but that Arctic Monkeys clip was kinda snarky. Do I detect a little animosity? Did RS miss another popular band? Come on, don’t be hard on yourself, anyone could have missed Nirvana, and Led Zep, and, you know, the entire hip hop movement…

PjMacD | 12/12/2006, 2:44 am EST

Does Elizabeth Goodman get any good press? I mean she’s only one person at Woman’s Wear Weekly… oh right Rolling Stone… Dolly Parton is a class act in my humble opinion…

HA! | 12/12/2006, 9:29 am EST

The one who bought the record was “mechadaddy”… Warren Hill sold it… maybe check your sources again Goodman.

Dee | 12/12/2006, 10:56 am EST

Pear Jam …now thats funny….

Dolly Parton is a Freak | 12/12/2006, 11:10 am EST

Why do people always say Dolly Parton looks great? She’s ghastly. Her plastic surgery is almost “Michael Jackson bad”.

LIKROPER.COM | 12/15/2006, 10:55 pm EST

my dad likes dolly parton…it’s those boobs…

RikMcK | 1/3/2007, 9:58 pm EST

Best of luck to Halle Berry and her aspiring singing career. If she flops, she can always fall back on her acting career, and be comforted by the pretty boy model Aubrey.

Vel | 3/24/2007, 8:58 am EST

Hi! If you want to stop this, mail me.

uginyfoe rtev | 4/14/2007, 10:53 pm EST

vbclqyizk zsvhcnf zxabjw zhrlq wmqbl pbqhfarce xvyjd

bet | 5/7/2007, 1:08 am EST

i guess halle can sing better without a microphone…cos she’s damn beautiful in every thing…name it

marcia | 8/28/2007, 3:38 pm EST

i love you

svbplgx mbhndj | 9/16/2007, 7:33 am EST

alkxuq xfbitjl drqkbnj khajqb hcpxysmjk hwabo cbju

Anonymous | 10/9/2007, 3:49 pm EST

i have not heard any songs as yet. since february i am waiting, what is going on?

Turbomother | 3/4/2009, 6:23 pm EST

yea, no album guys. some kid im my english class today was talking about he made up the album on wikipedia, and how it was all over the web. he posted it and then continually updated the page,like it was actually happening. amazing how easy it is to make new rumors these days.

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