Kurt Cobain: STAY AWAY FROM COURTNEY!

I’d warn Jann Wenner about hiring Elizabeth Goodman to run his web site. Then I’d have him fire whoever the fuck it was who wrote the reviews of “Kiss Alive”, “A Night At The Opera”, and “Draw The Line” back in the Seventies.

Dude, Yoko Ono’s bad news.

Keith, I think you’ve had enough.

Dimebag, watch out
John Lennon, watch out
Jim Morrison, dont go to Paris
Jimi Hendrix, dont let them strap you down
Janis, don’t shoot up alone
Elvis, surround yourself with people that care about you

Biggie, make amends, dude.

Tupac, never trust a dude named Suge

1) John Lennon. Stay in the Limo. Call the cops. That guy has a gun. (And be nicer to Julian.)

Jim, Keep your penis in your pants

Left Eye,ditch the Death Row contract,launch your own label,and push “Supernova” on your own.

Janis…just say no to drugs
Jimi…well, just rock on!
Kurt…throw the shotgun out, and Courtney with it
Jim Belushi…heroine kills…your too funny for that.
River Pheonix…guess I could tell you the same.
Dimebag Darrell…(I was honestly at the show)Just shoulda ran.
Biggie…Make peace
Tupac…Accept peace.
Elliot Smith…put the knife down, not in your heart.
Mitch Headberg…your jokes are funny, your death won’t be…

Kurt Cobain: CORPORATE MAGAZINES STILL SUCK!

Baby Girl,make sure EVERY pilot THROUGHLY passed the drug test before particularly choosing him/her.

Marvin,go to church.

Elliott Smith – I know it’s your pain that feeds your creativity, but get into a 12 step, write something in a major key, and for God’s sake, put the knife down! You’re genius.

Freddy Mercury – Whatever floats your boat is great and all, but wrap it up!

Otis Redding – Don’t fly. Trains are way better.

Brad,go see your dad for help.

Duane Allman, Don’t ride your motorcycle today!

John Bonham – Dude, sleep on your stomach!
Kurt Cobain – Stay away from that crazy bitch.
John Lennon – Let’s stay in tonight.
Biggie/Pac – Let’s hug it out, biatch.
Flea – Let River play in the show, instead of going to the bathroom for a speedball…
Stevie Ray Vaughn – Stevie, let’s take a wagaon ride instead of that helicopter.
John Connor – You sent me from the future to save you.

Mama Cass – don’t eat the ham.

Marc Bolan: Don’t let Gloria drive.

To John Lennon: Stay inside.

Honoring John Lennon today it would surely be dont go out John..and I like the be nicer to Julian part also…
Id love to warn Freddie Mercury about the joys of condoms but I dont think he wouldve listened..and sure would have told Duane Allman to ride the car instead..I would have loved to warn Jim Morrison not to go to Paris..dont think he wouldve listened either..For that matter neither wouldve Janis or Jimi…man they are still missed

Courtney Loves Dad: Please dont have sex. Remain celebate always.

Why are people saying that Elliot Smith killed himself? Yes, at first it was thought to be a suicide, but later was determined to be a murder.

mr drake…not that many sleeping pills…kurt in time it will all pass

i’d try to make ian curtis get the help he needed to not do what he did.

i’d pull the stones aside and tell them they cannot, should not and need not try to be the beatles. so let’s scrap her satanic majesties request or whatever it’s called and get back to doing what you do.

How about the late 90s, and tell Jeff Buckley that maybe a swim isn’t a fantastic idea….

syd barrett…put down the LSD.

Metallica: Avoid Bob Rock

Mike Watt and George Hurley – Ed Crawford is not D Boon, no matter how hard you try

Bob Dylan: why don’t you just take a little break and get your head straight(1978-1989)

J Macsis: Don’t fire Lou Barlow, you might want to listen to Sebadoh before you make any rash decisions

Joe Strummer: Cut Cut the Crap, seriously

Papa Joe Simpson: Wear A Condom, Always

I would tell the members of Skynrd not named Ronnie van zandt to tell Ronnie to fuck himself when he says “if its you’re time to go, its you’re time to go, get on the plane”.

There’s a lot of us who would not only warn, but would probably have taken a bullet for, John Lennon. Not just because of his career up to that point, but don’t you think the Reagan years and Bush II (the sequel) would have been more bearable with Lennon writing about them?

oh and Billy Joe Armstrong…at some point you’re going to quit smoking weed and begin to wear black shirts and pants with matching eyeliner and red ties alot and you’re gonna try to segue pop punk into some political bullshit and sing songs with Bono from shit ass u2….please don’t, you’re better at singing whiny songs about masterbating than whiny songs about the president.

Celine, have you considered trying heroin?

Jimi, you’re wrecking yourself. i think if more people had told him the truth instead of trying to lkiss his ass with drugs he’d still be alive today.
Also, Mike27, it hasn’t been proven yet that Elliott Smith was murdered, although we’d all like to think so.

John Frusciante-Don’t try heroin

prince,
larry graham is not your friend

john watch out
jim dont let pam give you herion
jimi those sleeping pills are very strong

Kurt Cobain- please don’t do it.
John Lennon- get a bodyguard!

Kurt cobain,go and tell him it’s not worth it.I’d go back and hide his gun,sit him down or do anything possible to stop him from going over the edge.Tell him how much music would suck without him around.

Hey BIG BOB, u2 wouldnt be were they are at if they sucked so much ass.And everyone grows up dude..The green day from 94′ is not the same as they are now..times change idiot!

jimi, don’t take so many pills tonight

John Denver: Hey john…never mind enjoy your flight…
John Belushi: Drop that bitch from Hamilton, go home with robin williams…bros before hos
John Bonham: sleep on your side…or better puke now

Rick Danko: Don’t let good times and laughter slowly kill you.

Richard Manuel: Don’t let bad luck and brandy choose your path to peace.

Carl Radle: Lay down the bottle so you may longer lay down the bottom.

Lowell George: Throw away the marching powder and your feats won’t fail you.

Roy Buchanan: Don’t lose your cool in a crackertown jailhouse.

Danny Gatton: Final peace cannot be won at the wrong end of a loaded gun.

entwistle, stay away from the cocaine

elliot smith, someone needs a hug

Janis and Jimi don’t do drugs, Kurt this to shall pass, Tupac work things out with Big, and Marvin don’t move in with your folks.

Slash, that little red-head isn’t just moody, he’s fucking crazy.

BIG BOB=LIKES BOYDONG

Hey Jerry, why don’t you take some time off from the Dead and move to Hawaii or Europe. Get clean and take care of your health. Just relax and leave the Grateful Dead be for a little while. Write your memoirs or a play, some music for films or work on your art. You’ll be glad you did, you need a rest man.

Mmm…

Michael Hutchence: Don’t try that, it’s not such a turn on after all!

Gerard Way: Don’t ever go blonde!!!

Bob Marley: You’ll never believe how fashion smoking pot is gonna be in the next years!

Hey Marvin,if you need me to come up to the altar with you to support you repent your sins,i’ll do that.

Mr. Buckley, please put on a life jacket.

Tupac,get baptized again and associate with the NAACP.Biggie,Faith is the ONE-y’all are perfect for each other.This is not a brief affair like you had with Kim and Charli,this is a LIFETIME affair.CJ is going to rock the world like you did.Did I mention,he’ll be the next to claim the throne,like you’re often seen sitting in.

Donny,it’s not worth it.You often talk about spirituality in most of your songs,WELL PROVE IT!Whatever you’re going through,pray several times a day and maintain your faith.Besides,your family has faith in you as well,24/7 for an eternity.Do it for your daughter Lalah-she sings as good as you and wants to follow in your footsteps.

Oh and Donny,me,Marvin,Bob,Stevie,Cur tis had a meeting and we got two words:WORLD TOUR!Wanna come along?I’ll promote it.

thats not the spelling of yoko’s last name

Aaliyah,i’m in love with you.

And just for the record y’all i’m not crazy.

Brad,let’s go jet skiing,LBC style.

Janis,have you met Pastor Curry(my pastor at Ezion Fair Baptist Church in the DE,representin’!)?

peter put the pipe down

sid vicious dont take heroin (eventhough i know he wouldnt listen)

Janet, put on a real bra.

sid vicious was crap!! And who care’s about janet jackson!

gerard way is not even worth mentioning as his band has no staying power at all.He just another schmuck on the radio these day’s, nothing to look forward to nor get excited about.He makes mediocre music at best.

Brad Nowell– doing heroin is not romantic. its disgusting….so i hear?

nick drake- come on, let’s just play scrabble.

Shannon Hoon- your daughter was like just born, take some time off, and get clean.

i’d demand i’d tell two people two things
jerry garcia
lay off man, just chill you don’t need the dead now enjoy life. forgot hard drugs stick to psychadelics. and whatever you do don’t tour the 90s/
john lennon
don’t go back to your apartment..
rip jg jl

axl rose don’t go into seclusion for 13 years and release chinese democracy because the leaked songs kick ass

Jann Wenner and Lorne Michaels should have warned us….. yeessh

I would tell John Lennon the day, time & place he would be shot.

It’s the most significant thing anyone could ever tell any past musician in history.

Michael Jackson: You look fine the way you are and for god sakes don’t go near the children!!!

I would tell Jeff Buckley to only swim in areas with a designated lifeguard and make sure to wear a life-jacket when participating in activities in lakes and rivers.

Yoko Ono was the worst thing to have ever happened to John Lennon. They should have never met. Have Mark David Chapman shoot Yoko Ono instead!

I dont know if Kieth Moon or John Bonham would listen to me if i told them to stay away from alcoholism. But i know if i told Kieth Richards to tell them, he’d listen and they’d listen to Keef

Jimi, stay with the ganja, stay off the hard stuff.
Randy, don’t get on that plane
Bonzo, you ain’t Keith Richards. Don’t outdrink him or sleep on your side.
Same with you, Bon.
Axl, Slash, Duff, Izzy, Steven, stay off the brownstone and stick to your hard rock roots for your 2nd album. you already wrote millions of great songs before you were a signed band. And Axl, don’t ever hold grudges.

I would tell John Lennon to go into the Dakota from a different enterance.Then I would contact the police about Mark David Chapman about waiting outside.That tragic day will always be remembered out of all the tragic events in rock.

To Noel Gallagher.

If you Don’t release Number 1 smash world wide hits as throw away B sides you will become the biggest band in the world for a decade.

John lennon deportation not that bad of a thing. Cobain get off the drugs, Marvin Gaye, stay on the drugs and away from your dad, Tupac don’t have sex with biggie wife and if you didn’t don’t say you did that is a punk move are all up their. My number choice would be to tell the stones that Altamount is totally a bad idea and that the hell’s angels is not a reasonable security team

Lynryd Skynrd take a bus..stay off the plane…

John Lennon not to be shot

Totally with everyone who would tell John Lennon not to go back to the Dakota.

Also, Big Bob: BILLIE Joe. With an IE. You know, just so you know.

Kieth Moon, Jimi Hendrix, and John Entwhistle DON’T DO DRUGS

1.Bob Dylan, Dwayne Allman stay off the motorcycles
2.Jimi Hendrix, Keith Moon, John Bonham- Always have some designated driver like person with you when you do drugs and drink. Don’t choke on your vomit.
3.John Lennon & Paul McCartney- Just try and work things out
-Whoever will wright is true but at the same time you think they would’ve written that music without it

John Lennon… “drop the slope and use the service entrance”

Keith Richards, please stay off the H. Wait…. what? He’s still alive? Wow.
Well, MY guy is still alive, why don’t the rest of you get on that.

I would go back before kurt cobain killed himself and NOT SAY A WORD.

Tommy Bolin, too great of a guitar player/writer to go down on heroin.

keith moon – take it easy on the meds buddy
john entwistle- watch the crack the night before the world tour

I completely agree with DEE;
Freddy M should still be here with us and gracing the world with his spectacular Vocals. I am torn on the John Lennon thing. I would hate it if he were still alive and be the strange old musicial (Keith Richards-ish). I think though if he were still here the world would be a little better. He had a great sense of how things should be. Sadly, I think his death was meant to be, He never stayed around to be stalked by tabliods or tainted by the pop music world (Jimmie Page, what were you thinking when you gave Puffy the right to cover one of your most amazing songs AND RENAME IT !)
As for Cobain, Do we really want to know what he would be like now with Courtney being a few fries short of a happy meal ?

I agree with everything about John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, etc.

I’d go back to 1997 and tell U2, “Please don’t book a world tour before you complete your album.”

Jane’s Addiction: Get over it and don’t ever record a reunion album.

Kurt: Shoot straight sunshine … Dave has a great band waiting just around the corner !

Britney: Stay in the trailer-park and give some real talent a chance.