Rolling Stones magazine for putting The Jonas Brothers on the cover of their magazine, after Beck just released the best album of the year.
Chris Cornell for working with Timbaland.
ME, for writing this two years after this was posted.

Metallica for LOAD and RE-LOAD.

pearl jam for the last album

Members of the Doors, the Cars, Inxs and others for touring and recording again when the only relevant member of the band is dead

As President, I hereby pardon Alice Cooper for playing golf and being a Republican. Not that Alice needs me to; he can have any opinion he wants, even if it is laughably stupid, like saying those who supported Kerry were traitors (very American, Alice). No, I pardon him for these things because I’m sick of indie-fucks and stupid punks talking shit about Alice because of these things. Listen to ‘Billion Dollar Babies’ and shut the fuck up! The President has spoken!

Im gonna agree with the Eminem for releasing Encore…You could not possibly have picked a worse collection of shit songs that are screaming “Why Try, they’ll buy it anyway!”

i want to forgive those shitheads at amaru records for fuckin up 2pac’s releases since after “R U Still Down?” but i don’t think i ever will. i definitely won’t forgive whoever heartlessly took the greatest rapper of all time away from us. i hope they burn in hell for it, as well as pay sometime in this life.

the grunge movement for accidently influencing nickleback, joe strummer for eeeeeeeever listening to bernie rhodes’ advice (may bernie burn in hell), the general public for ever picking up a staind album, the rolling stones for not dying when obviously nature says it’s time, paul mccartney for being friends with michael jackson and losing the beatles rights. paul mccartney for selling out. paul mccartney for leaving the beatles. paul mccartney for writing “band on the run, ” please, tell me if i’ve missed anything.

I want to forgive KISS most everything after ‘Dynasty’, but I
just can’t. Please, Lord, show me the way to…my turntable so I can play ‘double platinum’ and remember the good times !
Strutter brothas and sistas
Strutter, indeed !

Joe Strummer, for putting out “Cut the Crap” under the name of the Clash!

RIP Joe. Your sin is forgiven and heaven awaits.

The Rolling Stones for making music in the 80s

I would forgive Hip-Hop/Rap, a once meaningful and powerful form of music, for becoming the “hair metal” of the 2000’s.

RS Magazine for ruining all of their good stories by infusing their political views in them.

Chuck Berry for My Ding-A-Ling.

Billy Corgan for making TheFutureEmbrace..How can one of the 90’s greatest songwriter’s/guitarist make such a piece of crap techno infused album? He has the potential to make the most rockin album that would stand out among all these other fakers(killers) and he goes and stoops below them.Even scott stapp from creed made a more rockin album than his which is sad cause we all know scott stapp is a sham.

Rolling Stone Magazine for putting non-rockers on the cover such as Snoop Dog and Britney Spears

MTV

The Rolling Stone for not retiring 15 yrs ago. They’ve ruined their legacy.

where was i…John Lennon for that girl from the Dixie Chicks… whoever was responsible for the end of k-tel records, well the covers with the big explosions anyway… Anyone who uses the word “Rock Star’ in any context that’s not directly connected to an actual rockstar, all of whom can probably named in about thirty seconds… is it just me or are today’s hip-hop and rap stars becoming the most transparently manufactured thing in the music business?…The Maysles brothers for that Metallica film… SPINAl TAP for touring.. Robbiie Williams for breakin up Take That… just seeing if your paying attention…there goes another few minutes…hmmm the intenet for blogging…

Nirvana for spawning everything ” grung”…. Jon Stewart’s studio audience for confusing freedom with justdumb…. Mick Jagger and Michael Jackson for “state of shock” (shudder)… Max Weinberg and Band for putting up with Conan O’Brien as a host.. how many years are they going to give that show to get better?… Grayson Carter for trying too hard and losing his grip… that magazine is slipping… what were we talking about… i should really do some work… Borat’s creators for being assholes and no one saying the emperor has no cloths… Pharmacuetical companies for not putting expiry dates on pills.. Carrie fisher for not continuing to write as goods as she used to.. or is that ‘too’?…Man Im bored… Jessica Simpson for screwing up the Dolly Parton song… Rock writers for confusing proximity with relativity.. I have no idea what that means… The internet for giving us far more lousy music that should have remained in someones bedroom…. anything pretending to be ironic that just sucks….yadayadayada… yada

Trey Anastasio for his post phish solo sludge.

I’d forgive 311 for recording their cover version of The Cure’s “Love Song”, as I guess it’s not thaaaaat bad, but Jessica Simpsons cover of Robbie Williams’ “Angels” still remains unpardonable.

Even though it wasn’t a sin in the first place,but mashing Destiny’s Child’s “Bootylicious” with Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”. When you combine one of the most deliciously looking and talented female r&b groups with one of the most dangerous and personally indepth alt-rock bands of our time,that causes a lot of anticipation.I could imagine B gyrating that solid gold brick of a body next to Kurt rocking out(if he was alive).

The Two for touring as The Who

Um, Peter Travers is RS’ film (not music) critic.

Blink 182 for splitting..but not pardoned for doing it before they released the other pre-made album they were working on.

i’d forgive fred durst for covering the who. he had no idea what he was getting into. still don’t forgive him for that hot dog flavored asshole water thing he put out.

Mine Is Not A Holy War by
Jihad Jerry & The EvilDoers
(Jerry Casale of DEVO)

I forgivve Offspring for not stealing the album title “Chinese Democracy? from Guns and Roses because…
I forgive Guns and Roses for actually thinking they would put out an album b4 the holiday season… I mean put out an album at all

Finally I forgive Dr Dre for not putting out an album for way too too long just release Detox already….

I’m sorry, Adam. Rolling Stone’s continued association with the execrable Elizabeth Goodman is unpardonable.

Flavor Flav for doing “Flavor of Love”. But only on the condition that he cut that shit out right now and go back to cold lampin’ like a good hype man.

Zack De La Rocha for not saying anything about The Bush Administration when he had plenty to say about the peaceful Clinton years.

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for NOT inducting the Memphis Horns for their recordings on hit records by a Who’s Who of artists from Otis Redding to U2. 80+ gold/platinum record performances!! Shame on you.

On second thought Pardon Denied!!

Ill have to go with Adams comment on this one.

Trey Anastasio for doing cocaine

john lydon - for his appearance on ‘judge judy’… no, wait, i can’t, i can’t…

Hmmmm……….OK.

Michael Jackson: Either for (supposedly) molesting little boys, or for the album “Invincible”

Eminem for making Encore

Courtney Love for killing Kurt Cobain.

the rock and roll hall of fame, for inducting the velvet underground years ago, but not alice cooper…

Not that anything at all good has happened because of it (*cough*audioslave*cough*)…. .but I would like to forgive Soundgarden for breaking up…….obviously Down on the Upside was a sign that the genius had softened… I’d rather have no Soundgarden than Sub Par Soundgarden

All members of Guns ‘n’ Roses for everything they put out after Appetite for Destruction. On the grounds that Appetite is still a record that perfectly captures all that is not-so-perfect about Rock ‘n’ Roll.

Pearl Jam for being a band.

no wait, id send them to the chair.

Rolling Stones for the cover art to Dirty Work http://www.rollingstones.com/b in/galImg/siteFiles/7839d08877

I the President of the UNITED STATES officially pardon: Rolling Stone Magazine for having employed PETER “the boot licker” TRAVERS supposed music critic. The man is and always has been a repetitive Hack. Whose main concern revolves around how Cool he seems to the, ever current and growing, robotic masses. Hopefully Travers has gone on to flush himself of the Dreaded and purely Superficial IWTBJLYPLM! GENE- *(I) (W)ant (T)o (B)e (J)ust (L)ike (Y)ou, (P)lease(L)ike (M)e!*

Perry Farrell for breaking up Jane’s Addiction at the height of their powers, then trying to live off reunions and lame throwawy albums after he realizes he sucks on his own. The Rev album was an especially vile turd.

The DeLeo brothers for doing ‘Talk Show’

Townshend and Daltry continuing a tour between the dates of Entwistles funeral.

Motley Crue for trying to sub Corrabi into Vince’s spot.

Billy Corgan for the Poetry book.

Yoko Ono

Neil Young for Trans

JIMMY PAGE SLEEPING W/ UNDER AGE GIRLS! THEY WERE HOT BABES SO WHAT IF THEY WERE JAIL BAIT!

Queen for Body Language…maybe.

Rolling Stone, for hiring and continuing to employ Elizabeth Goodman.

Bob Dylan, for making albums between 1980 and 1995