Say you’re just minding your business, drinking a Mai Tai and eating, oh, say Goldfish crackers or some other savory snack. Suddenly you’re overwhelmed by the urge to download “The King of Carrot Flowers” by Neutral Milk Hotel. You go over to eMusic for this exclusive purpose and DING DING DING! Lights flashing! Bells ringing! You are their 100 millionth customer! But instead of getting some lousy coupon for a dollar off a two-liter of Fresca, you get to be immortalized in song! See, if you happen to be the lucky human who downloads the 100 millionth song from eMusic, Barenaked Ladies will write a custom-made ditty about Y-O-U. Your whole identity condensed into two-and-a-half minutes of jam band noodling? Why not? We can only imagine if it was us: “Billy was a smalltown boy/Loved Slint and country-fried steak . . . ” OK, we never said we were good at this. What would you want your song to say?