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All Haters: Fergie Has God on Her Side

11/15/06, 6:09 pm EST

Fergie

We may have had our differences with Fergie in the past but that was before we understood the depths of her savvy. The woman responsible for introducing “fergilicious” into our pop-cultural vocabulary recently sat down with Vibe and calmly explained that those who mock her voice mock God. “I may not have the type of voice you like, but I can sing,” the Dutchess reportedly said. “You can’t take that away from me, ‘cause singing is a gift from God, and when people say I can’t sing, it’s kind of like insulting God.” We are inspired by this insane logic. From now on anyone who points out any single one of our failings is officially insulting God. Be warned.


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Comments

M | 11/15/2006, 6:41 pm EST

That chick is nuts.

Scream | 11/15/2006, 7:00 pm EST

Wow that is the stupidest thing Ive ever heard. God screwed her over by allowing her to think that she can sing. But we all know better.

Dirk | 11/15/2006, 9:53 pm EST

Thank you, thank you! I thought I was the only one that thought she was a talentless hack. My only question is, why does VH1 play her crappy music videos and who the hell is voting for them in the first place?!

Anonymous | 11/16/2006, 8:35 am EST

When did Fergie start taking cues from Republicans?

John Mayer | 11/16/2006, 8:46 am EST

God built my tiny penis from love, sweat, and the left over skin he didn’t use on my earlobes. How dare you insult God’s little treasure bestowed to me above my hairy walnut shell? It’s basically a tiny hand of God. Now look at my peepee, and despair!

Chiahonkey | 11/17/2006, 1:00 pm EST

When did Kirsti Alley record an album?

Eick | 12/21/2006, 3:20 pm EST

I hate Fergie………..she’s my least favorite celebrity. You could put a horse’s head on that body and it’d be an improvement.

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