We thought perhaps we’d mistakenly signed up for a subscription to AARP: The Magazine when we opened our mailbox today and pulled out a copy of SXSWorld, the official newsletter for the South by Southwest festival. Semi-disgraced CBS anchor Dan Rather — who’s scheduled to keynote the interactive portion of the annual music conference in Austin, Texas — swimming in a lake in a T-shirt and shorts, grinning like Grandpa after an especially good dose of Fibercon? We know Rather’s a native Texan, but do they really think showing us his ghostly-white quads is gonna amp up SXSW registrations? We can already picture next month’s issue of SXSWorld: Bea Arthur in bicycle shorts, pedaling toward Emo’s for the Vagrant showcase!