If you’re the kind of dude who’s going to write in to the Orlando Weekly about why you feel betrayed by Metallica, perhaps you have deeper problems than your fave band going corporate. That said, this project is fucking awesome.
A writer, angered by what he sees as Metallica’s corruption at the hands of “greed and mediocrity,” solicited opinion from his readers re: whether or not Metallica continues to rock, only rocked in the past, or has never, in fact, rocked at all. The responses were awesome. Here are snippets from the top-two. Do you agree or disagree with these opinions? Disagree? Discuss.
- “I wholeheartedly carry the conviction that Metallica was once one of the most influential rock bands of all time, but I can’t deny their current position of suckhood. Why does Metallica suck? Eleven simple words: “Swizz Beatz featuring Ja Rule and Metallica, ‘We Did It Again.’”
- “… The real reason Metallica sucks is that they have grown tired of metal and hungry for money. Sure, they used to rock the fucking balls off your parents’ house when you played them in ‘86, but the double-bass drums sound softer when they’re filled with cash. When Metallica sues their fans for listening to Metallica songs, THEY SUCK! I can picture Lars and his lawyers rolling nude in piles of money, laughing at the dickholes that are still willing to pay top dollar for their symphony-remixes of the same old shit. At some point one of them must’ve stopped dry-humping stacks of hundreds, wiped their diarrhea mustache and agreed to allow “Unforgiven” to be interpreted into elevator Muzak. I know this because I heard the shit while three old folks tapped their brittle feet to the mellow beat as I wondered if hell was a hospital elevator.”

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- Portions of Album Content Provided by All Music Guide © 2009 All Media Guide, LLC.