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What Kind of Dog Is Bob Dylan?

10/31/06, 6:32 pm EST

Bob Dylan would be a curly coated retriever if he were a dog. He would have an “oily coat that traps air and insulates in water” and a good sense of smell. Pete Doherty, on the other hand, would be a Norwegian elkhound, known for his willful personality and adeptness at hunting bear. Britney Spears is a Tibetan Terrier, “an appealing, shaggy little dog, which makes a sturdy, loyal pet.” Ouch.

This according to the breed description provided by the UK Kennel Club, in association with the Gone to the Dogs Canine Algorithmic Transfer System that allows players to determine what kind of dog they would be. According to the site (click on games) the answers are generated by SUKA, a computer “built in 1975 by Russian scientist Mikhail Volkonsky and now housed in a London museum.”

There’s a reason we’re telling you about this at 6:30 P.M. Now you’ll have something to amuse yourself with for the entire post-sugar-high-Halloween-hangover Wednesday we are facing tomorrow. And if you’re lame and stay in all evening ignoring trick or treaters, you can amuse yourself by turning people into dogs.


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Comments

Erik E Erik | 10/31/2006, 7:28 pm EST

Afghan Hound

Jake | 10/31/2006, 7:33 pm EST

I’m a Hovawarts. It looks like a mutt to me.

Graham | 10/31/2006, 9:09 pm EST

Black Russian Terrier

auramac | 10/31/2006, 10:10 pm EST

Dog? Hell, no.

I’m a cat.

the speakers | 10/31/2006, 10:18 pm EST

i’m an english setter

Jamie | 10/31/2006, 10:43 pm EST

Bloodhound

noname | 11/1/2006, 5:33 am EST

What is this shit? Definitely a bad taste….

SATAN | 11/1/2006, 11:55 am EST

MY MOM LOVES BLACK WANG

Blackie Lawless | 11/1/2006, 1:50 pm EST

I LOVE YOUR MOM

Blackie Lawless | 11/1/2006, 1:51 pm EST

REAL GOOD

Jordan | 11/1/2006, 4:05 pm EST

Who gives a shit. Dylan is a crusty old geezer whose new shit sucks.

Dog, fuck up, whatever

www.heatherjeane.com | 11/1/2006, 7:11 pm EST

If Bob Dylan were to be a dog he wouldn’t be Bob Dylan but the ex-brother-in-law, South African, Peter Johnstone. I’ve known Bob Dylan for over a quarter of a century, and I enjoy “working” with him a lot. The pay is quite bad, being absolute zero, but then I never asked for any and didn’t expect any. Whihc is why I want you all to but the book via the above website link.

bob | 11/1/2006, 8:37 pm EST

do do do doo doo doo doo doo doo doo….
in case you couldn’t tell, i’m singing that crazy circus song you always hear…in reference to the poster below me…someone has bats in the belfry…what the hell is she talking about?

Tvoy Mat | 11/3/2006, 5:18 pm EST

Fun fact: Suka means “bitch” in Russian. This Volkonsky has quite a sense of humor, I wonder if he’s related to the Marissa responsible for some excellent English translations of Russian novels?

Butchucola | 11/5/2006, 8:43 am EST

Jordan,you dont know shit.Maybe youre the type who loves Barry Manilow and Kenny G…..tough shit..

weknewyewell | 11/6/2006, 6:40 pm EST

I’ve bred Curly Coated Retrievers for 30 years and Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix might have been curlies but NEVER Bob Dylan. Marley and Hendrix were the working man’s poets, decidely misunderstood and underappreciated until too late.

Bob Dylan was a yuppie’s yuppie: an East Coast media creation. Hell, at least the Boss has/had a voice.

Alas, like Springsteen, the exceedingly rare curly coated retriever has now been discovered by yuppies and soon will be bred, like any other counter-culture icon, into yet another very dull, very pedestrian entity designed to fit into the masses/yuppie life. Arggghhhh.

turquoise patty | 11/16/2006, 5:24 pm EST

Dylan and Hendrix as dogs?…With the war and Bush-league politics, can’t ya think of better topics?

Nub | 11/14/2008, 2:30 pm EST

Poodle

Nub | 11/14/2008, 2:30 pm EST

Wolf-Dog!

Nub | 11/14/2008, 2:31 pm EST

Snoopy dog! Beagle was it?

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