Boy Scouts Abandon Fire-Making to Fight Pirates

10/23/06, 4:18 pm EST

First there was that whole Chinese-scouts- recruited-to-narc- on-peers thing, which kept us up at night worrying about the inevitable increase in the number of swirlies and playground beatdowns sustained by pre-pubescent nerds the world over. Now this. The New York Times reports that regular old American Boy Scouts are now being encouraged to earn a dangers-of-copyright-violation activity patch. In exchange for learning about the risks associated with downloading “pirated movies and music” — you’ll go blind, your palms will get hairy etc. — scouts will receive a patch showing a film reel, a CD and the copyright symbol.

But pursuing this patch is not for the weak-minded. Scouts will be expected to acquire some familiarity with basic copyright law, learn how to identify copyrighted works and do other things we got bored just reading about. Then they must select a field-trip-like activity that shows the true, real-world impact of illegal downloading. Scouts might choose, for example, to travel all the way to Studio City, California, to visit a movie studio and see first-hand the wealth and power that stands to be pillaged by Web pirates. Or they could star in a public-service announcement, maybe with Michael Gross, the Dad from Family Ties. Or they could, you know, discover punk rock in Hollywood (we hear they still have some there) and realize that uniforms, codes and being a stooge for the man is bad.

PS: We are officially soliciting suggestions for equally dubious badges earned by Boy Scouts. Off the top of our heads: the “Still Waiting for Chinese Democracy Eternal Patience Award.” See? Clearly we need help coming up with these.


Comments

demondog | 3/11/2007, 11:15 pm EST

ive heard three of the new songs off the new album and im extremely ise you impressed.They are very well written and i promise you this album will be album of the year hand down.You people need your grasp of music spoon fed to you

All Knotted Up | 10/25/2006, 12:19 pm EST

My night in the Catskill Mountain wilderness began with a ceremony where I took a vow to remain silent for 24 hours. We carved arrows and strung them arround our necks with leather straps. We were honor-bound to carve a notch into the arrow for each time we broke our silence. My arrow eventually carried three notches. Some did better and others worse. Few were without a single notch and fewer still were without honor.

The music I downloaded under the stars was that of a territorial pack of Catskill wolves making their noisy rounds in the forrest we shared. So too did the sounds of the hunting owls and a competing pack of howling coyotes become my iPod-for-a-night.

I spent the next day felling trees and building lean-tos for future campers. By days-end my young body was wracked with pain like I’d never experienced before — an esquisitely beautiful pain that brougt not tears but a smile to my face.

The second night under the stars we shared together — each and every one of us who had endured the initiation. We were brothers. We were a family that accomplished something together. Each was left with our own “silence” to carry with us for the rest of our lives — a “silence” to aid us in figuring out what those 24 hours meant.

I will forever “forgive” the mole on Boy Scouting’s cheek. Do I wish this “old” organization would make some changes? Yes, I do. Do I believe that destroying this “cultural icon” will contribute more to the decay of this fine country then continuing to support it, blemishes included? A resounding, absolute YES.

fitzbath | 10/25/2006, 11:24 am EST

Ok so I posted the same thing twice!!! I still stand by what I say!!

fitzbath | 10/25/2006, 11:23 am EST

UHHHH IT’S NOT GUNS AND ROSES ANYWAY…. IT’S AXL WITH SOME OTHER GUYS. BESIDES THE REAL ALBUM IS COMING OUT ON HALLOWEEN IT’S CALLED ENDLESS WIRE BY THE WHO. WHICH ISN’T REALLY THE WHO
BUT IT’S AT LEAST THE TWO WHICH IS MORE THAN ASSHOLE ROSE CAN SAY.
STINSON NEEDS TO QUIT AND GO BACK WITH AN INTELLIGENT SONGWRITER PAUL WESTERBERG!! AXL’S VOICE REMINDS ME OF FINGERNAILS SCRAPING ACCROSS A CHALKBOARD!!!ANYONE WHO WEARS A SCOTTISH KILT WITH A FOOTBALL JERSEY AND DREADLOCKS HAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM.

fitzbath | 10/25/2006, 11:15 am EST

WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT CHINESE DEMOCRACY. IT ISNT GUNS ANS ROSES ANYWAY….ITS AXL ROSE WITH A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BAND. DON’T GIVE THE WHO ANY SHIT FOR PUTTING OUT AN ALBUM WITH ONLY TWO ORIGINAL MEMBERS THEY ARE STILL 1,000,000 MORE INTELLIGENT THAN AXL ROSE. STINSON NEEDS TO QUIT GUNS AND ROSES AND GO BACK WITH PAUL WESTERBERG!!

All Knotted Up | 10/25/2006, 10:34 am EST

Looks like Ms. Goodman could have used a Journalism Merit Badge.

By-the-way, at age 14 I was initiated into a Scouting group that celebrated Native American culture. I learned a few things about conservation, environmentalism, nature, husbandry, community, respect, friendship, reliance on others, and a host of other useless things in Ms. Goodman’s world.

Blindfolded, with a knife, flint, compass, bedroll and clothing, I was dropped off in the mountain wilderness of the Catskills — alone. This 14 year old boy, with confidence, spent the night under the stars and found my way back to civilization the next morning. Talk about other useless things in today’s culture — self-esteem, self-reliance, survival skills, navigation skills, hiking and mountaneering skills, cooking in the wild, forraging, and of course, spying on the wild animals so I could “turn in” the ones illegally downloading music.

Ms. Goodman, you are the type of person who would destroy the child because of the mole on his cheek!

Burley Man | 10/25/2006, 9:36 am EST

Hey, I was a Boy Scout and I never sucked cock.
I was a ball boy.

Coolio November Rain | 10/25/2006, 1:18 am EST

Why don’t we stop ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION first… boys. Then when can focus on the music. Also we need to deport Axl Rose, cuz he’s like a Borat guy. A real PRICK…..

heil to the chief | 10/24/2006, 8:33 pm EST

what ever idiot said the thing about the importance of an album and its value on the physical plain is, as i have already said, an idiot. Music is called music for a reason…it’s all about the music son and that is the only thing that truely moves people and societies. not fucking artwork or album sleeves. so, i guess what im saying is, um, go suck a fat cock

the fool on the hill | 10/24/2006, 8:30 pm EST

wow, how about a badge for, “suck the most cock and still didn’t let the calories go to my man boobs.” jesus christ, go tie a damn knot or something

Prime Minister of China | 10/24/2006, 3:57 pm EST

We are now a democracy… thanks to the Boy Scouts.

Julien McArdle | 10/24/2006, 2:12 pm EST

I think we can all agree that piracy is bad. However, the MPAA is the least qualified organization to teach kids on copyrights. The MPAA is a lobbyist group. One that’s been trying to redefine the extent of copyright for years. They’re, how shall I put it…. biased. Biased to the extent of misleading children on the basics of copyrights. I mean, there’s as much academic integrity there as having the Tobacco lobbyists teach kids on the ‘truth’ of cancer.

All Knotted Up | 10/24/2006, 1:16 pm EST

Apparently organizational purity is the only measure of anything worthwhile, right? The Clinton Administration was a total failure because of Travel-gate and FBI files in the White House, right?

My bet? Nearly 95% of men who experienced scouting found it to be a great, albeit not perfect experience. When the global-warming Armegeddon comes, some of us will “be prepared” and others will live out the rest of their short, apparently perfect lives, all knotted up without a clue how to survive.

donhenleysnewleatherhandbag | 10/24/2006, 8:59 am EST

the “camp-master DIDN’T touch me, I SWEAR!” badge. Also, the “i’m growing up to be daddy’s little fascist” badge

BIT | 10/24/2006, 8:18 am EST

I agree with the wrath against downloads. If music is truly worth it to you, you will give something up to get it. Funny, most of life still works this way.

Little Oscar | 10/24/2006, 7:50 am EST

I’ve been a musician for years in New York, Nashville, and other cities around the U.S. I’m also an Eagle Scout from the early 70’s. As a musician, yeah pirating is an issue — I do some digital downloading, but pay the monthly fees to listen, and the downloading fees to copy. I think it’s admirable that the Boy Scouts are still trying to teach morals to some of the kids who are willing to learn — when moralistic views have escaped so many in today’s mainstream. Be prepared!!!!

Wheelz | 10/24/2006, 4:16 am EST

I agree with what John had to say….! The only way I’d put music onto my MP3 player is copying it from the cd WHICH I ALREADY BOUGHT!!!!! I’ll be doing exactly this when Chinese Democracy comes out….

jacko | 10/24/2006, 2:21 am EST

All boy scout badges are a waste of time just as boy scouts are. Personally id like to see a boy scout badge for quitting boy scouts.

John | 10/24/2006, 2:08 am EST

I am 25 and unlike most people my age, I am completely against downloading music of any kind…I respect what an artist has to go through to get a record contract and everything else that they work their asses off for…as far as “Chinese Democracy” is concerned..I will be buying multiple copies…if you download “Chinese Demcracy” you dont actually have it…its like downloading “Physical Graffitti” and claiming you own that record…you have to have the artwork and everything else that goes into it…

Chinese Democracy | 10/24/2006, 12:44 am EST

rock and roll and boy scouts???? Cmon rollingstone who gives a fuck about boy scouts u guys need to get that Axl Rose interview!!

Rodney | 10/24/2006, 12:04 am EST

Oh WHAT-EVER trevor quit being so precocious!

Trevor | 10/24/2006, 12:02 am EST

all boy scouts are douchebags.

so are the RIAA and MPAA

Ampehtadex | 10/23/2006, 10:35 pm EST

I think you meant [i]re[/i]pressing homosexul urges…

And hey, there are a lot of conservative douche bags in scouting and this badge is fucking retarded, but some people are in it to actually just have fun and go camping and shit.

jonmarck | 10/23/2006, 6:53 pm EST

how about a chastity badge? New ones for 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, 25 years and the ultra-dedicated 50 year plaque!

Dude | 10/23/2006, 6:50 pm EST

“Biggest Douche in the Universe” for all 21st-century Boy Scouts

heavyhitter | 10/23/2006, 6:27 pm EST

We Guns fans don’t need a badge of honor. We deserve royalties off the Chinese Democracy record!

word | 10/23/2006, 6:06 pm EST

I’m partial to the “supressing homosexual urges” badge. Imagine the design on that one!

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