
First there was that whole Chinese-scouts- recruited-to-narc- on-peers thing, which kept us up at night worrying about the inevitable increase in the number of swirlies and playground beatdowns sustained by pre-pubescent nerds the world over. Now this. The New York Times reports that regular old American Boy Scouts are now being encouraged to earn a dangers-of-copyright-violation activity patch. In exchange for learning about the risks associated with downloading “pirated movies and music” — you’ll go blind, your palms will get hairy etc. — scouts will receive a patch showing a film reel, a CD and the copyright symbol.
But pursuing this patch is not for the weak-minded. Scouts will be expected to acquire some familiarity with basic copyright law, learn how to identify copyrighted works and do other things we got bored just reading about. Then they must select a field-trip-like activity that shows the true, real-world impact of illegal downloading. Scouts might choose, for example, to travel all the way to Studio City, California, to visit a movie studio and see first-hand the wealth and power that stands to be pillaged by Web pirates. Or they could star in a public-service announcement, maybe with Michael Gross, the Dad from Family Ties. Or they could, you know, discover punk rock in Hollywood (we hear they still have some there) and realize that uniforms, codes and being a stooge for the man is bad.
PS: We are officially soliciting suggestions for equally dubious badges earned by Boy Scouts. Off the top of our heads: the “Still Waiting for Chinese Democracy Eternal Patience Award.” See? Clearly we need help coming up with these.

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