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Rejected Lyrics for the Killers’ “All These Things That I’ve Done” Before They Eventually Settled On “I’ve Got Soul, But I’m Not A Soldier”

9/29/06, 6:32 pm EST

  • I’ve got fat, but I’m not a father.
  • I’ve got a coat, but I’m not a coat rack.
  • I’ve got heat, but I’m not a heathen.
  • I’ve got a cat, but I’m really more of a dog person.
  • I’ve got ambition, but I’m not one of those people who’s just going to knock everyone out of his way to get what he wants, you know?
  • I’ve got a rash, but I dont’ think it’s contagious.
  • I’ve got cocaine, but I’m just holding it for a friend.
  • I’ve got some David Bowie CDs, but I’m no David Bowie.

This is the last one kids! Enjoy!

By Beth Edwards, from “Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney’s Book of Lists,” to be published by Vintage Books next month. We’ll be publishing a list from the Book of Lists every day this week.


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Comments

Anonymous | 3/19/2009, 5:25 pm EST

i’ve had a wank but I’m not a wanker

steve | 1/2/2009, 1:55 pm EST

I got ham but Im not a hamster :-)

sony vegas | 8/31/2008, 1:00 pm EST

I’ve got sky but have no decoder

Anonymous | 5/27/2008, 9:19 pm EST

i got no money but im in a band

Scott | 5/21/2008, 3:05 pm EST

I got laid but I’m not a lady

wGsioaeDCv | 5/6/2007, 8:01 am EST

vCIjyHFdBYKAqDgkn

Mr Brightside | 1/1/2007, 4:33 pm EST

I’ve got germs but im not a German

I win

I love myself

suck my pistachio nuts

killers suck

Billy | 12/25/2006, 5:14 pm EST

i got soul but i am notasoulder

Paris London | 12/6/2006, 9:13 pm EST

I am on track but I am not an amtrack
I got metaphors but I’m not metamorphasized
I got colons but I am not a semi- colon
I got spam but I am not spamish
I got abs but I am not abstract
I got an infant but I’m not in the infantry

Anon | 11/30/2006, 3:35 am EST

These are all really really bad.

Diane | 10/27/2006, 12:23 am EST

…you have opinions, but they don’t mean shit…

Sam's Frown | 10/7/2006, 3:46 pm EST

I’ve got balls, but I’m not a baller.

sam | 10/2/2006, 8:36 pm EST

NV - you win

NV | 10/2/2006, 8:10 pm EST

I’ve got germs but I’m not a German.

anonymous | 10/2/2006, 7:14 pm EST

I meant morrissey, not morrisey

anonymous | 10/2/2006, 6:15 pm EST

I’m mormon, but I’m no morrisey

john | 10/2/2006, 1:45 pm EST

I’ve got herpes, but I’m not a herpetologist

Dad | 10/2/2006, 11:24 am EST

I’ve got the runs but I have no ass wipe

petal | 10/2/2006, 9:31 am EST

I’ve got toast, but I’m not a toaster

Jake | 10/2/2006, 8:25 am EST

I’ve got sold but I’m not a solderer

Randall | 10/2/2006, 8:04 am EST

I’m leaking fluid but I have no diaper.

dredd | 10/1/2006, 11:44 pm EST

I’ve got a cock, but Im not a cocksucker!

Jaymz | 10/1/2006, 10:11 pm EST

i’ve got a beard, but i’ve got no pubes.

Blow-regard | 10/1/2006, 7:47 pm EST

I’ve got shingles, but i am not a shingler.

fyour | 10/1/2006, 7:28 pm EST

this song flatout fucking sucks.

Anonymous | 10/1/2006, 3:17 pm EST

ive got a tan but ive got no talent

Jonathan | 10/1/2006, 2:55 pm EST

I’ve got crabs but I’m not a crabcake

Satan | 9/30/2006, 6:57 pm EST

I’ve got Jews but I’m not a juicebox

the speaker named john | 9/30/2006, 3:57 pm EST

I’ve got a bruise, but I’m no Bruce Springsteen.

Zach | 9/30/2006, 1:15 pm EST

I’ve got a record deal but i can’t write music

josh | 9/30/2006, 12:17 pm EST

i’ve got soul, but I’m not a sultan

B | 9/30/2006, 1:37 am EST

the others were good, but mine is by far the best.

I’ve got knees, but I’m not a negro.

sabrina | 9/29/2006, 8:39 pm EST

not to toot my own horn, but i think this is the best one:

i’ve got love, but i’m not lover

am i right?!

lettie | 9/29/2006, 8:23 pm EST

I’ve got eyeliner, but I’m not a woman.

Sanchez | 9/29/2006, 8:04 pm EST

I’ve got Ham but have no Mustard.

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