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Rejected Lyrics for the Killers’ “All These Things That I’ve Done” Before They Eventually Settled On “I’ve Got Soul, But I’m Not A Soldier”

9/29/06, 6:32 pm EST

I’ve got fat, but I’m not a father.
I’ve got a coat, but I’m not a coat rack.
I’ve got heat, but I’m not a heathen.
I’ve got a cat, but I’m really more of a dog person.
I’ve got ambition, but I’m not one of those people who’s just going to knock everyone out of his way to get what he wants, you know?
I’ve got a rash, but I dont’ think it’s contagious.
I’ve got cocaine, but I’m just holding it for a friend.
I’ve got some David Bowie CDs, but I’m no David Bowie.

This is the last one kids! Enjoy!

By Beth Edwards, from “Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney’s Book of Lists,” to be published by Vintage Books next month. We’ll be publishing a list from the Book of Lists every day this week.

Elizabeth Goodman

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Comments

Anonymous | 3/19/2009, 5:25 pm EST

i’ve had a wank but I’m not a wanker

steve | 1/2/2009, 1:55 pm EST

I got ham but Im not a hamster

sony vegas | 8/31/2008, 1:00 pm EST

I’ve got sky but have no decoder

Anonymous | 5/27/2008, 9:19 pm EST

i got no money but im in a band

Scott | 5/21/2008, 3:05 pm EST

I got laid but I’m not a lady

wGsioaeDCv | 5/6/2007, 8:01 am EST

vCIjyHFdBYKAqDgkn

Mr Brightside | 1/1/2007, 4:33 pm EST

I’ve got germs but im not a German

I win

I love myself

suck my pistachio nuts

killers suck

Billy | 12/25/2006, 5:14 pm EST

i got soul but i am notasoulder

Paris London | 12/6/2006, 9:13 pm EST

I am on track but I am not an amtrack
I got metaphors but I’m not metamorphasized
I got colons but I am not a semi- colon
I got spam but I am not spamish
I got abs but I am not abstract
I got an infant but I’m not in the infantry
…

Anon | 11/30/2006, 3:35 am EST

These are all really really bad.

Diane | 10/27/2006, 12:23 am EST

…you have opinions, but they don’t mean shit…

Sam's Frown | 10/7/2006, 3:46 pm EST

I’ve got balls, but I’m not a baller.

sam | 10/2/2006, 8:36 pm EST

NV - you win

NV | 10/2/2006, 8:10 pm EST

I’ve got germs but I’m not a German.

anonymous | 10/2/2006, 7:14 pm EST

I meant morrissey, not morrisey

anonymous | 10/2/2006, 6:15 pm EST

I’m mormon, but I’m no morrisey

john | 10/2/2006, 1:45 pm EST

I’ve got herpes, but I’m not a herpetologist

Dad | 10/2/2006, 11:24 am EST

I’ve got the runs but I have no ass wipe

petal | 10/2/2006, 9:31 am EST

I’ve got toast, but I’m not a toaster

Jake | 10/2/2006, 8:25 am EST

I’ve got sold but I’m not a solderer

Randall | 10/2/2006, 8:04 am EST

I’m leaking fluid but I have no diaper.

dredd | 10/1/2006, 11:44 pm EST

I’ve got a cock, but Im not a cocksucker!

Jaymz | 10/1/2006, 10:11 pm EST

i’ve got a beard, but i’ve got no pubes.

Blow-regard | 10/1/2006, 7:47 pm EST

I’ve got shingles, but i am not a shingler.

fyour | 10/1/2006, 7:28 pm EST

this song flatout fucking sucks.

Anonymous | 10/1/2006, 3:17 pm EST

ive got a tan but ive got no talent

Jonathan | 10/1/2006, 2:55 pm EST

I’ve got crabs but I’m not a crabcake

Satan | 9/30/2006, 6:57 pm EST

I’ve got Jews but I’m not a juicebox

the speaker named john | 9/30/2006, 3:57 pm EST

I’ve got a bruise, but I’m no Bruce Springsteen.

Zach | 9/30/2006, 1:15 pm EST

I’ve got a record deal but i can’t write music

josh | 9/30/2006, 12:17 pm EST

i’ve got soul, but I’m not a sultan

B | 9/30/2006, 1:37 am EST

the others were good, but mine is by far the best.

I’ve got knees, but I’m not a negro.

sabrina | 9/29/2006, 8:39 pm EST

not to toot my own horn, but i think this is the best one:

i’ve got love, but i’m not lover

am i right?!

lettie | 9/29/2006, 8:23 pm EST

I’ve got eyeliner, but I’m not a woman.

Sanchez | 9/29/2006, 8:04 pm EST

I’ve got Ham but have no Mustard.

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