“Corrupted File”

“(Your Message Was) Blocked”

“No Such Address Exists”

“Detected by a Filter”

“Your Message (Did Not Go Through)”

“Automatically Generated”

“Do Not Reply”

“Fatal Errors”

“Permanent Failure”

By John Moe, from “Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney’s Book of Lists,” to be published by Vintage Books next month. We’ll be publishing a list from the Book of Lists every day this week.