The Smiths song is actually called “I Want the One I Can’t Have.”

And it’s driving him mad!

The White Stripes: “The Denial Twist”

“Make sure to never do it with no singers cus they’ll tell everyone in the world”

Leonard Cohen: “Don’t Go Home With Your Hard-On”

Any list with the BUZZCOCKS on it is a keeper. Saw them this summer in Chicago and they can still do it in their early 50’s!

Phil Collins: “Coming in the air tonight”

I think “Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want” by The Smiths is more appropriate.
Songs about not getting laid? How about any song that came out this year by those shitty third-rate emo bands?

How about The Who’s “Pictures of Lily”? While we’re at it, I don’t think Happy Jack was getting much trim.

You forgot to disqualify Britney Spears. I definitely never want to listen to her complaing about her sex life. Don’t want her talking abt her sex life period but i can’t ask for that coz or else wat is she gonna sing abt!

Oh, come on–the entire Smiths/Morrissey catalog can be on this list!

Jackson Browne – Rosie

Lily My One And Only by Smashing Pumpkins. The idea of Billy being a peeping-tom is kinda scary!

The Beatles “Girl” – (’she’s the kind of girl you want so much it makes you crazy….’)

Afroman with “She wont let me f**k” must be mentioned

Teenage Kicks by the Undertones

the rakes – just got paid but i can’t get laid

Every single emo song ever.

Cat Stevens: Another Saturday Night

rolling stones “satisfaction” is he ultimate song about not getting laid

Emma J by Brendan Benson

“There’s this girl whose kiss is all I dream of
I’m the boy who prays it’s with me that she’s in love”

Melre Haggard “If you Want to be my Woman” – and yes this IS a rock song…”You say I need a ring to get the lovin’ that I need/Won’t you give me just a sample hon before I sign the deed/Don’t look at me like you don’t understnd/If you wanna be my woman/you know you gotta let me be your man

Hello, I Love You – The Doors

Bram Tchaikovsky – Girl of My Dreams

“Judy was an American girl. She came in the morning with the U. S. mail, Didn’t say nothing but she looked pretty good to me. Golden hair that shines so bright, Loving eyes that smile on sight, She could keep the secrets that we share in my world of dreams.”

- Brad is singing about the pin-up girl that just came in the mail.

Is Why Bother really about not getting any? I’d think it’d be about turning down an offer, in the same vein as Tired of Sex.

cake – hem of your garment
jonathan richman – closer
..this list could be huge depending on how literally it’s taken

Jimmy Buffett “Why don’t we get drunk & screw….”

Violent Femmes: “Add It Up” all the way! And I’ve always wondered what the song “Big Me” by the Foo Fighters is all about. I’ve always thought that it could be taken with lots of sexual innuendos…

I know there’s probably a few dozen songs by The Smiths that can make the list, but “Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me” is the quintessential song about not getting laid. “Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me / No hope, no harm / Just another false alarm”. Honorable mentions to “How Soon Is Now?”.

Finish what ya started – Van Halen

Prodigy: Smack My Bitch Up

perhaps perhaps perhaps

Good Times Bad Times – Led Zeppelin

please please me?

How could RS forget about the ultimate??
The Dead Kennedys – “Too Drunk To Fuck”

REM- Tongue

“Tired of Being Alone” — Al Green

Marshall Tucker Band “This Ol’ Cowboy”

I’m suprised no one mentioned RHCP – “Under the bridge.” Def a song about bieng lonely and not having a partner. Although anthony was still probably getting laid, maybe he was lonely that day…

RADIOHEAD – CREEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I won’t make you // Something Corporate

“I wanna feel through you right now.. but I won’t make you”

A few come to mind I suppose. As far as RHCP “Under the Bridge” isn’t that about suicide? Anyways, the one that came to mind with me was the one I heard most recently: Kings of Convenience “Toxic Girl”
“She’s intoxicated by herself/
Everyday she’s seen with someone else/And every night she kisses someone new/Never you”

Billy Idol – Dancing With Myself
ZZ Top – Woke Up With Wood

“I’m suprised no one mentioned RHCP – “Under the bridge.” Def a song about being lonely and not having a partner. Although anthony was still probably getting laid, maybe he was lonely that day…” chris m: Um, maybe you should listen to it again.

I think you missed some southern rock classics like: “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” by the Georgia Satellites, “Fat Man in the Bathtub” by Little Feat, and “The Waiting” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers?

Phil Collins should only be on this list cause he never gets any, anytime, in the air tonight is not about love, isnt it about redemtion?

Never Say Never by Romeo Void is a good one: “I might like you better if we slept together…….”

Anything by Bryan Ferry.

No, wait. This is songs about NOT getting laid?

I think the ultimate Smiths’ song about not getting laid is There Is A Light That Never Goes Out although it’s surely about suicide.”And in a darkened underpass I thought oh God my chance has come at last, but then a strange fear gripped me and I just couldn’t ask. and of course Unloveable, Rusholme Ruffians, How Soon Is Now, Miserable Lie, I Know It’s Over, Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want, Never Had No One Ever, The Boy With A Thorn In His Side, and their best songs about getting laid, I know that’s an oxymoron in the Smiths’cannon, but it’s true, Handsome Devil, Ask, and Stretch Out And Wait,

King Missle- “Detachable Penis”
If ya lose it ya can’t use it!

Cheap Trick “I Want You To Want Me”

Good calls on “Pictures of Lily” and “Don’t Go Home With Your Hard-On”. Howzabout the Buzzcocks’ “Orgasm Addict” — I believe they’re all self-induced in that song.

Love Will Tear Us Apart (Joy Division),Kiss Me On the Bus(The Repalcements),Blue Monday(New Order), No Fun(The Stooges),In Every Dreamhome A Heartache, (Roxy Music), Sunny Sundae Smile, (My Bloody Valentine), Help The Aged, Live Bed Show, (Pulp), Bad Girl, (New York Dolls),

Thinking About You – Radiohead

“been thinking about you, and there’s no rest
should i still love you
see you in bed but i’m playing with myself”

“In My Room” should not be on the list…it has nothing to do with sex whatsoever. Elizabeth apparently missed the point of the song. Otherwise, good list.

I think “across the sea” seems more appropriate than “why bother”

“across the sea” rather than “why bother”

three days grace- wake up

I can’t think of too many quickly, but a great one is “Here She Comes Now” by the Velvet Underground.

“Under the Bridge” is about his addiction to drugs and quiting them and trying to stay alive. Nothing to do with sex. He still refers to the drugs as a girl he cannot live without.

Billy Joel – “Captain Jack”

Your sister’s gone out, she’s on a date/You just sit at home and masturbate

I know it seems wrong, but Meatloaf’s “Paradise on the Dashboard Light” could be on this list. Going, Going, Going…and nothing for Meatloaf…how surprising

Lita Ford “Kiss Me Deadly”

“Didn’t get laid, got in a fight, uh huh, it ain’t no big thing.”

Longview!!!

How ’bout My Chemical Romance, “I’m not OK, I Promise”?
About a sleazy female high school classmate of Gerard Way’s.

On some level all of Linkin Park’s songs are about not getting any..

limp bizkit nookie fred durst is sexually frustrated for life

Dysentery Gary from Blink 182.

Sounds like a song about a guy who took a girl that Tom Delonge liked.

hey, i agree with michele, how bout Im Not Okay(I Promise)?

No Action !

the smiths – *yawn*

Ballad of a Thin Man by Dylan.

Blister in the Sun by the violent femmes.

(Pretty sure there is some unrequited homosexual context in these…not that there’s anything wrong with that).

Imaginary Lover- Atlanta Rhythm Section

Well, what are you going to do?

The Who — “How Can You Do It Alone?” But, of course.

Nirvana’s ‘RAPE ME’

Genesis- Counting Out Time

“Norwegian Wood”

“We talked until two and then she said, ‘It’s time for bed’
She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh.
I told her I didn’t and crawled off to sleep in the bath”

Although, the whole song isn’t necessarily about not getting laid.

Babe, I’m gonna leave you – Led Zeppelin
She’s gone – Hall & Oates

Under the bridge is about Anthony’s heroin addiction. the bridge is a place where he used to get High. not about a girl. Whole Lotts Rosie by Ac/Dc is a very good song about getting laid, all be it by a rather large lady! Also ‘i wanna make it wit chu’ from the desert sessions is awesome too

Pink: U + Ur Hand

The Who – Pictures of Lily
The Rolling Stones – Rocks Off (They’re not disqualified, especially since this is easily one of the all-time sexually frustrated songs!)

Police: “So Lonely”.

Aerosmith’s “Sweet Emotion” and “Love in an elevator”

Unfortunately, I have written the best songs that I know about not getting laid. My Heart is in Your Hands and song For Jian (Wish You Could be Here with Me) From Never Had My Kind Before and “I lost Again” and “Untouchable” have not been recorded yet. Cry for me, Boo Hoo!

Led Zeppelin- Whole Lot of Love

“a fine romance” not a rock n roll song, but a standard of american popular music–billie holiday’s version is stellar.

the bulk of the Robert Johnson catalogue could be on this list, especially since most of them have been covered by rock and roll bands at one point or another. a couple favorites are 32-20 Blues and “Love In Vain”

in the rock and roll ouvre, “you won’t see me” by the beatles is a personal favorite.

I beg to differ with Sophie about “Paradise by the Dashboard” by Meatloaf…he does, eventually get some, but it comes with a shitload of baggage

“Allison Says” – Vulgar Boatmen

Another legendary band you’ve never heard of. Seek them out.

Jack Johnson / Sitting, waiting, wishing

Gonna have to go with The Refreshments, “Una Soda”

Madonna = Like A Virgin

Green Day!!!

oh, RS- Longview is one word

Why in the world are married people not eligible? We get laid less than anyone!

Angry Samoans – “Gas Chamber”

Despite the title, it IS actually about not getting laid, though I admit the metaphor is a tad extreme.

Bouncing Souls “Monday Mourning Ant Brigade”

The Beatles: Please Please Me!!! You don’t need me to show the way, love/why do I always have to say, love/come on come on come on come on come on come on/Please please me, woah yeah, like I please you….I do all the pleasing with you/it’s so hard to reason with you/woah yeah, why do you make me blue?

The MC 5: “Teenage Lust”. Such a classic.

“I Got ID” – Pearl Jam

i can’t imagine that the boss is getting any in “I’m Goin’ Down” if “i go to put my arm around ya, and ya give me a look like i’m way out of bounds”

Lemonheads – It’s About Time

just about everything on pinkerton by weezer except for tired of sex