Actor Rupert Everett is coming out with a super-dishy autobiography, Red Carpets And Other Banana Skins, in which he chronicles his encounters with many of Hollywood’s most famous stars. The book is being serialized in British paper The Daily Mail, and the excerpts in which Everett writes about Madonna are particularly juicy.
Everett first met Madonna back in 1985 when she was dating Sean Penn, who invited Everett to have dinner with him and his new girlfriend. “When she fixed you with her regard, there was a tenderness and warmth that made your skin bump, but when she looked away, it was like sunbathing on a cold day and suddenly a cloud comes. She was raucous but poised, elegant but common … and it was obvious that she was playing with Sean underneath the table throughout the meal.” Everett goes on to describe waiting at the table for most of the meal as Madonna kept Sean busy in the bathroom.

According to Everett not even his dog could resist the Material Girl’s sex appeal. “She oozed sex and demanded a sexual response from everyone … Mo, my puppy took one look at the Material Girl and was entranced. He started to lick her, sniffing her crotch and nipping at her dress before pinning her into a chair and humping her leg, ruining her stocking. This she didn’t mind so much. Any form of sexual adulation was an affirmation to the material girl.” This is even more exciting than anticipating Nicole Richie’s The Truth About Diamonds.