Further proof that the apocalypse is at hand: According to our peeps at Us Weekly, Ashlee “New Nose” Simpson is rumored to be mulling over a role in the Broadway production of “Chicago.” She would be starring as Roxie Hart — the part made ultra-famous on the big screen by squinty-eyed Renee Z. Hmmm, we’re not sure, but we think this would require Ash to actually sing. Lord. Have. Mercy. Oh, and p.s. — what the hell? Usher is already walking the boards as Billy Flynn. At this rate, it’s only a matter of time before Paris Hilton makes like Queen Latifah and signs up for the part of Matron Mama Morton.