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Eddie Van Halen’s New Project: Scoring Porn Flicks

7/28/06, 12:53 pm EST

With the announcement that Eddie Van Halen has written “whompin-ass” new tracks for a porn flick called Sacred Sin, Van Halen completes his list of things to accomplish in this life. The guitarist says that porn director Michael Ninn “is like a Spielberg to” him and elaborates, “the imagery, the way he makes things look, just… sensual.” Ninn returns the praise by explaining that because Van Halen grew up in Amsterdamn “sex and music are all in one.” Eddie also calls the new songs he’s written for the film “the best work he’s ever done” and assures us there’s more where this came from.

Elizabeth Goodman

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Comments

ERik | 7/28/2006, 2:05 pm EST

Good grief,
someone get Eddie some booze, STAT

this is too stupid for words.
Porno soundrack the best thing he’s ever done?

good god.

Lobsters | 7/28/2006, 3:30 pm EST

Hey, scoring porno movies is one hell of a lot cooler than scoring Ken Anger movies.

johnson | 7/28/2006, 8:33 pm EST

i thought the best thing he ever did was “eruption.”

i’m just sayin’

Chris | 7/28/2006, 10:02 pm EST

Best thing he’s ever done…just like those new tracks off the last Greatest Hits CD.

Somebody said ‘Fair warning’, lord strike that poor boy down…

DC | 7/29/2006, 11:56 am EST

Just the other day I was wondering what VH was up to…….no good

toby | 7/29/2006, 3:40 pm EST

guess now he’s busy, strumming more than his guitar!

Brian | 7/29/2006, 5:59 pm EST

I will admit that this is not my most enjoyable thing, jivin’ on a gossip column when there is a whole world out there to enjoy, but I just had to post, right her, right now. Listen to all of you whining and dissing a man for lending his talents to give music where he feels damn well fit. Remember he did Michael Jackson’s solo for free. He has had a long and lustrous career in music, and for that and the many wonderful inspirations he’s shared with me aurally I couldn’t give enough thanks and high 5’s to ‘em. But damn, you all as “fans” don’t have to like everything that he does, and still be cool with it all. Separate yourself from some of the jazz, and give the guy a break. I’ll tell you somethin’, get up off of your computer chairs and go and do all that he’s done musically, then come back to gossip this and that.

Tommy Lee | 7/29/2006, 11:10 pm EST

Dude, we need to talk.

jeff | 7/30/2006, 8:50 pm EST

what an assclown.

nurserock1 | 7/31/2006, 2:47 am EST

I am way confused on which way Eddie is going. I get the feeling he is a very ill man.
I want to think about the great things that the man has done…I want to think about how much I admire him…The greatest guitar player hands down that I’ve ever seen or heard…But I can’t stop thinking about…
3 Disgruntled Lead Singers
1 Divided Fanbase (Dave/Sammy)
1 Bassist thats been crapped on
1 A brother that is mysteriously having nothing to do with this current project (if you’ve heard the music you’ll know why)
MILLIONS of fans that are sick of crap just like this…..
I keep trying to figure out what the problem is….then I remember…
THE PROBLEM IS EDDIE….he is an ASSCLOWN
No wonder the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame doesn’t induct a man and a band with their accomplishments. He is an embarassment…..

Quietzen | 7/31/2006, 8:38 am EST

Eddie, with your money, I am quite certain you could afford a good psychiatrist. You need help.

johnnygunit | 7/31/2006, 1:00 pm EST

I have heard the score and it goes something like this…Bow-ch-ka-WOW-WOW!

x | 7/31/2006, 1:24 pm EST

x

Fama | 8/1/2006, 1:30 pm EST

Goodbye Eddie!

Commenter | 8/4/2006, 2:02 am EST

Everyone goes through changes. The best is yet to come. We didn’t understand him then and we probably don’t understand him now. Just enjoy the ride and get back to work creating your own reality.

jimi | 9/12/2006, 5:02 am EST

Did you guys listen to the scores. Sounds killer! I heard 10 seconds of it. He is playing his 1967 12000 series Marshalls again! Here we go. Did you here about his kid who is 154 now and rippin on like 5 insytruments already im waiting for that one !

jimi | 9/12/2006, 5:05 am EST

oops. Take off 149 years. anyway – He does seem like he is totally absorbed in his own thing. I think he is possibly bored chlling at his home and un satisfied with his current situation so he goes PORNO BABY!!!

Rafterman | 9/19/2006, 10:30 pm EST

Ass Clown… You don’t have a clue?! Have you ever had cancer and seen your life flash before your eyes? Yea, that’s what I thought. Have you lost your mom AND dad like he has, yea, that’s what I thought. Have you ever gone through a divorce AND with a kid involved? I’m betting not. Ever had a major surgery? Say hip replacement? Ever have David Lee Roth, his ego AND his tights around you 24/7?! How would you be doing about now after all of this my friend? His playing is awesome! The best rock and roll guitarist in the world, without a doubt. Go Eddie!

Markapv | 9/28/2006, 5:32 pm EST

Yes he is great. Yes I have been a fan since the 70’s. Saw them a dozen times, 6 Dave and 6 Sammy.

That said, I believe they peaked at the second album. All others pale in comparison compared to the first two.
Be honest with yourselves—They slowly lost it. WACF was OK, Fair Warning is half filler, Diver Down is half covers, etc. Then the fucking keyboards and cheese dick Hagar lyrics. Please.

That didn’t stop me from going to shows, which is a testament to his playing.

Enjoy.

mikle | 8/26/2008, 5:54 am EST

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Vegagmlx | 9/27/2008, 5:45 pm EST

It’s serious

Twyorvfp | 9/27/2008, 8:45 pm EST

Jonny was here

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i’m fine good work

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fifa55 | 6/9/2009, 6:16 pm EST

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infest | 6/9/2009, 6:16 pm EST

Gloomy tales

Dghonson | 6/9/2009, 6:17 pm EST

Jonny was here

Dghonson | 6/9/2009, 6:18 pm EST

good material thanks

Ltrzfgaq | 6/15/2009, 7:35 pm EST

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margaret | 6/22/2009, 8:21 pm EST

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Jeevtyll | 7/9/2009, 9:34 pm EST

Very funny pictures

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