Some random sources of amusement to leave you with on this Friday:

• For some reason we received a collection of musical Hallmark cards in the mail this morning, including this one (pictured), which plays MC Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This” when you open it. Though we realize it’s meant for now loving but formerly bratty siblings, we’re picturing date rapists sending it out on Valentine’s Day. Alarming.
• A particularly genius The Onion piece: “U.S. Trendsetters Go On Strike: Nation’s ‘Hip’ Seek Recognition, Royalties.” Our favorite bit: “DailyCandy.com contributor Cass Myerson said the strike may inadvertently generate a new trend, pointing to reports that some followers have already begun their own hip work stoppages.”
• Warning: not music-related, but watching The Big Lebowski: The Fucking Short Version just might have changed our lives. It can change yours too if you let it.