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Barry Manilow Employed to Harass Teens

6/7/06, 3:28 pm EST

This week Australian officials attempted to rid a Sydney shopping center of lounging teenagers by cranking Barry Manilow tunes where the hapless teens were loitering. So, what is the most annoying music in the world? We compiled a list of the top-five artists most commonly used to torture.

  • Metallica: The U.S. military stationed in Iraq uses “Enter Sandman” as the soundtrack to pain. Metallica songs were also used to drive Manuel Noriega out of hiding back in the late 80s.
  • Christina Aguilera: Guantanamo soldiers prefer Xtina’s gooey hit “Genie in a Bottle” or her “Dirrty”-era romps.
  • Barney Theme: according to The Nation, Barney is played so loud by U.S. soldier that it “unravels” detainees.
  • AC/DC: AC/DC’s “Hell’s Bells” is the successor to Indian war cries and the horns played by God’s army at Jericho.
  • Nancy Sinatra: “These Boots Were Made for Walking” was inflicted upon the Branch Davidians during the Koresh vs. U.S. government standoff in ‘93.

Of course, the most state-of-the-art approach to ridding the world of obnoxious teenagers is the Mosquito teen repellent, an ultrasonic professional ear-splitting contraption developed by a Welsh security specialist. Reportedly it was also used by producer John Shanks on the last Jennifer Love Hewitt album.

[photo: Laura Farr/AdMedia]


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