Gosh, another MTV Video Music Awards! Tonight is the night when millions of music fans hit the couch to bury a Thursday night’s worth of brain cells in a Zima coffin, watching famous people in silly pants. Awesome! It’s always one of the year’s hottest TV parties. Except last year, when Diddy hosted. Or the year before, when nobody hosted. But hey, we’re rooting for the show this year. Why? Just because.

But first, for reference . . .

suck (suhk) verb. [[Middle English suken, from Old English sucan]] 1: to draw (as liquid) into the mouth through a suction force produced by movements of the lips and tongue. 2: to draw by or as if by suction. 3: to take in or consume as if by exerting a suction force. 4 (slang): to be objectionable or inadequate.

7:42 PM: That definition of “suck” is already changing! And the show hasn’t even started yet! For the pre-show, we’ve got Fergie on the red carpet, doing “London Bridge.” Nice bladder control! John Norris interviews the other Black Eyed Peas about her performance. “It symbolized a lot,” Will.I.Am. tells him. Sure did, Will.

Paris Hilton is wearing white bike shorts under a tutu. It’s gonna be that kind of night.

My Chemical Romance are on top of a building performing “Bohemian Rhapsody.” No, wait, it’s “November Rain.” Uh, the entire second disc of Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness? What the hell is this? A choir of kids dressed up as skeletons? Gerard Way tells Gideon Yago the song is about a guy named Rapacia who “examines his own mortality.” Uh huh. I need another Zima.

(more…)

Scouting for new bands used to be so much work. You had to actually appear at rock shows, you had to ponder their talent and think about the originality (or lack thereof) of their sound. Man. Those days sucked. Now that Thurston Moore’s label Ecstatic Peace is all over the young up-and-comers all we have to do is listen to the bands he signs and be done with it. Thanks Thurston!
Awesome Color, an Ecstatic Peace band originally from Michigan sound like a grimier version of Sonic Youth (go figure). We love their garagey, Guess Who-esque take on blues rock, especially on “Free Man.” Listening to that song makes us feel like we’re living in Easy Rider, sailing down the highway with Hopper and Fonda looking for an America that can’t be found.

We’re all a-twitter in anticipation of tonight’s VMA show, which is being broadcast LIVE at 8 PM EST from Radio City Music Hall. But because you are way too busy and important to be glued to your La-Z-boy watching Xtina shake her thang, we’ve decided to sacrifice our Thursday evening by giving you our very own play-by-play, as witnessed by our very own Rob Sheffield, who will be watching from his very own La-Z-boy. So when you’re out on the town drinking your Zima, you can check Rock & Roll Daily on your Sidekick and know exactly what’s going on. It’s cool, you can thank us later.

So in about 35 seconds we have to split for the VMAs, which are, like, down the street from our office. Very convenient. Anyway. As a appetizer to the multiple hours of scripted pop-cultural humor on MTV, take a gander at the results for our Dark Side of the Moonman Awards poll. According to you guys, the White Stripes were robbed and David Hasslehoff came out ahead of Fergie as the star of this year’s worst video. Anyone have any Zima? We’re gonna need it.

How do you satisfy your need for bling when your mouth is already full of diamonds? If you’re New Orleans rapper Baby, you march straight to your dentist’s office and demand bigger fucking diamonds. The rapper recently had $500K worth of ice permanently implanted in his teeth in a procedure that took three days to complete — including one grueling ten-hour session. Before the surgery went down, Baby’s dentist had to make new molds of the rapper’s teeth (the original ones were lost during Hurricane Katrina), a process the rapper claims is even more painful than the implanting procedure itself. “It was worse than being shot,” he tells us. And he would know.

(more…)

In our zeal to bring you up-to-the-minute coverage of the VMAs, we totally forgot about the most important event of the decade! Or maybe ever! That’d be Makeout NYC, a weird/awesome new MySpace-endorsed event taking place in the Sheep Meadow at Central Park this very evening. According to the Web site, “The makeout party is free, and for no particular cause, other than to promote shameless kissing in public.” Holy bejeezus, somebody pinch us. To get in the mood, we’ve been rocking our own personal playlist of makeout songs. So far, we’re stuck on Prince’s “Darling Nikki” (we just played it for the 374th time). You guys got any ideas? Oh, and wanna smooch?

[photo: www.cymagen.org]

It was pure madness at the Rolling Stone/Verizon Wireless pre-VMA party last night in New York. And by madness, we mean Whitney Houston, who was spotted grooving to the tunes of the night’s performer, John Legend, in the upstairs balcony at NYC’s Bowery Ballroom. In any case, Legend slayed the packed-to-the-gills club, powering through hits like “Ordinary People,” and premiering never-performed songs from his upcoming album, the RS-tested and approved disc Once Again. Also in effect: singer-songwriter Gavin DeGraw, actress Shannon Elizabeth, and that guy DJ AM, who hobnobbed with house DJ Samantha Ronson. We tried to rock out but kept getting bumped by gaggles of drunk models and cocktail waitresses giving platters of mini-cupcakes the hard sell. ‘Twas a magical night indeed.

You may remember director Todd Haynes: He’s the one who used Barbie Dolls to tell the life story of Karen Carpenter some years back. Now he’s found a way to top himself: He’s currently filming a Bob Dylan biopic called I’m Not There in which seven different actors portray the legendary singer-songwriter. Here are the first shots to emerge from the set: Speaking for ourselves, we’re pretty shocked at how well Cate Blanchett manages to pull off Dylan circa 1965 or 1966. Richard Gere, Heath Ledger, Julianne Moore, David Cross, Michelle Williams and Christian Bale are also in the movie - though it’s unclear if they all will play Bob as well. Taking bets now: will it be better or worse than Masked And Anonymous?

Earlier this week, we told you guys about how My Chem got attacked by flying bottles at England’s Reading Festival last weekend. Well, they weren’t the only ones. During Panic! At the Disco’s set, singer Brandon Urie took a beverage-container beating and actually passed out for a second before getting up to finish the set! (Someone make this kid eat his leafy greens!) Luckily, Urie seems no worse for the wear — as he left the stage, he told the NME, “I guess we were sending a message to whoever threw the bottle- you can’t stop us!” Right on! Anyway, video footage of the event has emerged. Check it out.

• Dinosaur Jr.’s gear was recently stolen out of the band’s van parked outside their hotel in Long Island City. The saddest part is how, in the press release (excerpts from which appear after the jump,) they describe the missing guitars like lost puppies. Won’t someone bring those Fender Jazzmasters home?
• The artist now known as C Miller (he’s not calling himself C Murder anymore, you know, because of the whole murder investigation thing) is in trouble again. After spotting Miller at the premier for Spike Lee’s Katrina documentary, a judge has decided it’s back to full-blown house arrest for the rapper.
• Former Faith No More frontman shit talks Wolfmother backstage at Lollapalooza, claims to be releasing multiple albums including “a record of 60s Italian music with an orchestra.” [Stereogum via G4]

(more…)

• Holy pre-fab girl band, Batman! Danity Kane at Number One on the charts? Nice work. The ladies’ debut, Danity Kane, sold 234,341 copies in its first week.

• Outkast debuted at Number Two (tee hee) with their new record-cum-soundtrack Idlewild, selling 196,137 copies.

• Paris Hilton-loathing is practically a new religion for some people, but that didn’t stop Paris from selling 76,858 copies and earning the Number Six spot on the charts this week. Dare we say it? That’s hot.

Remember that whole Eddie Van Halen scores a porn flick thing? Well, two of Eddie’s lusty little tracks have leaked. The first, a naughty piano romp called “Catherine,” is nice for beginners, but “Rise” - with its thrust-friendly bass line - is the real winner. Note how both songs really take off half way through. [via Stereogum]

Ben Folds is one of those celebrities who actually personally blogs on his MySpace page, which is, you know, nice. In a recent post Folds announced that his “new favorite band of all time” is the Dresden Dolls. Apparently he likes them so much that when the Dolls’ lead singer Amanda Palmer confided to him that critics often call her songs “too needy,” he totally freaked. “i told her to give me a list of who these people are and i will fly to their homes with a sharpie and draw dicks on their bathroom walls,” Folds writes on his blog. He goes on to explain that he’d fought for years to subvert his dick-drawing urges for moral reasons, but recently gave up.”i never succumbed that particular touring pastime . i never drew dicks on walls. but last year, i had to try it. i drew a dick on a brand new clean white dressing room wall. and you know what, it felt good. so i want to draw more.” And that’s not all. Apparently Folds also reserves his dick-drawing skills for “anyone who doesn’t like the streets new record. or anything sufjan stevens does.” Good to know.

[via Pitchfork]

Simon Cowell is sick of Celine Dion. Paula Abdul is too short to ride the roller-coasters at Six Flags. And with his astonishingly smooth, poreless skin, Randy Jackson may well be the human equivalent of Mr. Bigglesworth. These were just some of the sacred truths unearthed at the latest round of tryouts for season six of American Idol, held this afternoon at New York City’s Chelsea Piers. We got to sit in on an intime conference with America’s favorite panel to find out what this year’s contenders have been like so far. So what’s the verdict on the next crop of star wannabes? Put it this way: there’s been a whole lot of crap singing going on.

(more…)

You know a party is wack when the most notable celeb there is the Moonman from MTV. Such was the case at Jessica Simpson’s record release rollerskating party last night at NYC’s Roxy nightclub. Good Humor ice cream carts and popcorn machines abounded (yay), as did cheesy Eighties pop tunes (negative yay — and FYI, New Kids On the Block aren’t ironic, they’re just bad.) Bottom line? The vibe was defintely more on the boring Bat Mitzvah tip than all-out rager. Aside from the aforementined moonman, the only quasi-celebs in attendance were TV chef Rocco DiSpirito, Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis, old-school supermodel Carole Alt (??), ice-skating queen Oksana Baiul (???), and the ubiquitous, earring-sporting Joe Simpson. Neither Jess’s sister Ashlee nor her new squeeze John Mayer (see this week’s US Weekly) made a cameo! Suck!
(more…)