Hudson Hawk

Starring: Bruce Willis

Directed by: Michael Lehmann

RS: Not Rated

1991 Action

Call it 'Hudson the Duck.' a movie this unspeakably awful can make an audience a little crazy. You want to throw things, yell at the actors, beg them to stop. But the film drags on, digging horrible memories into the brain -- like Bruce Willis and Danny Aiello's singing. Willis, in the title role, plays a cat burglar just out of jail and back on the job with his friend Tommy Messina (Aiello). They pride themselves on completing a museum robbery in the exact time it takes them to sing "Swinging on a Star." It's not only that they sing badly; it's that they seem so pleased with their smirking, preening selves. Other smug parties include Andie MacDowell as an undercover nun and Sandra Bern-hard and Richard E. Grant as kinky criminals. These actors -- and director Michael Lehmann (Heathers) -- have been good before. So how did they produce this $50 million gasbag? If you're wise, you won't ever try to find out.

PETER TRAVERS
RS 607