Filth and Wisdom

Madonna and movies have never been a good combo. And judging by her debut as a director and screenwriter (with Dan Cadan), I have to say her record is clean. An irredeemably dull tale of three types — hey, they're hardly fleshed-out characters — sharing a flat in London, Filth and Wisdom is distressingly short of either. Give Madonna this, she does have an eye for faces: Eugene Hutz, the Ukrainian frontman of the gypsy-punk band Gogol Bordello, rocks a handlebar mustache as A.K., a kinky bondage provider for tired businessmen. Invading A.K.'s living space are pole dancer Holly (Holly Weston) and pharmacy assistant Juliette (Vicky McClure), who dreams of helping starving children in Africa. I dreamt of the movie ending. Hutz's music drowns out a lot of dialogue. Speaking for film lovers everywhere, I'm grateful.