Hottie and the Nottie

We'll always have Paris, at least to kick around, thanks to a zombiefied performance worthy of George Romero in this limp-dick of a comedy. Still, Hilton deserves my generous half-star rating: It takes guts to appear onscreen again after House of Wax. Hilton is wax incarnate as the hottie who won't sleep with her nerd prince (Joel David Moore) until he finds a consort for her BFF (Christine Lakin), a nottie of such scabby, acned horror that you know a makeover is coming. Too bad no one thought to make over this dumping ground for clichés. The film in its opening weekend brought in a shockingly low-rent $234 per screen. So much for Hilton family loyalty. Just to keep Paris out of pout mode, the family could have bought the theaters out.