Feeling Minnesota

Starring: Cameron Diaz

Directed by: Steven Baigelman

RS: Not Rated

1996 Romance

Keanu Reeves and Cameron Diaz fuck on the bathroom floor right at the beginning of this flick, and it's still not any good. Poor Keanu. First he flops with a big-budget action flick (Chain Reaction), and now he scrapes bottom with this indie stinker. Actually you can't blame the actors too much. Canadian writer and director Steven Baigelman, a former painter, came up with the smudgy plot.

Where to begin cataloging the elements of this disaster? Let's start with Jjaks -- that's the name of the wandering outlaw Reeves plays. The misspelling was a typo on his birth certificate, and it stuck. So much for Baigelman's idea of cute.

Anyway, Jjaks is back home in Minnesota (the film's title is from the Sound-garden lyric "I'm looking California and feeling Minnesota") for the wedding of his brother Sam (Vincent D'Onofrio), a crook accountant whom Jjaks loathes. The invitation came from his mom, Nora, played by Tuesday Weld. Yes, the Tuesday Weld, of Pretty Poison and Lord Love a Duck, grown plump but still flirty fun and undeserving of such a nothing role. The bride is Freddie (Diaz), the blonde whom Sam won from his crime boss, Red (Delroy Lindo). Freddie hates Sam, too, so she and Jjaks screw on sight and run away together. Sam follows, people get shot, a cop (Dan Aykroyd) comes chasing. Courtney Love and Levon Helm get trapped in supporting roles, and nothing makes a lick of sense. Diaz is the only actor who brings style to a comic road odyssey that thinks it's dark but is merely dense. If you see one Minnesota movie this year, make it Fargo. This botch job should be stamped direct to video.

PETER TRAVERS
RS 744