The Top 5 Bush Rumors

While Bill Clinton Throughout his presidency was a sizzling National Enquirer headline waiting to happen, George W. Bush has bequeathed to the world far more in the way of tangible corruption and real, colossal political disaster than he's given in juicy rumors and sex scandals. But that doesn't mean Bush's gossip slate is completely clean. A short list of the most enjoyable and impossible-to-prove Bush rumors and where you heard them:

Rumor He's depressed and medicated.

Evidence His occasional dazed demeanor is a classic sign of prescription antidepressants. The D.C. online political news-magazine Capitol Hill Blue, which alleged (citing "White House sources") that Bush had been prescribed antidepressants by the White House physician.

You most Likely Heard this at a bar where Bill Kristol was crying into his martini.

Bullshit? This would surprise no one, given Bush's agonizing year reading Iraq briefings. Wouldn't you be depressed if you started the war?

Rumor Bush has a long-term boy-friend, the ambassador to Poland, Victor Ashe.

Evidence Ashe and Bush were roommates, cheerleaders and members of the elite Skull and Bones society together at Yale; Bush allegedly sent candy and flowers to Ashe in Poland.

You Most Likely Heard this at the Yale Club; reading Kitty Kelley or surfing Conspiracy Planet.

Incriminating Bushism "We're a country based on fabulous values. ... And we'll prevail, because we're a fabulous nation, and we're a fabulous nation because we're a nation full of fabulous people."

Bullshit? Well, he does say "fabulous" an awful lot.

Rumor Bush is having a hot, steamy affair with Condoleezza Rice.

Evidence Laura Bush reportedly spent a night at the May-flower Hotel this summer because of the affair; in a jaw-dropping Freudian slip, Condi referred to Bush as "my husband" at a dinner before correcting herself. (A fair-play bonus rumor to this: Laura, distraught over George's romps with Condi, fell into a romance with an old flame, described as a wealthy Texas businessman.)