The Most Backwards, WTF Planks in the GOP Platform

From porn to vaping to "PC culture," the Republican platform has something for everyone

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The Most Backwards, WTF Planks in the GOP Platform
The Republican Party platform includes planks on immigration, abortion and pornography.

Next week in Philadelphia, the Democrats are poised to adopt what some are calling the most progressive platform in the party's history, thanks largely to the influence of Bernie Sanders

On the other hand, the Republicans — who opened their convention in Cleveland Monday — are making history of their own, by calling for the ratification of the most radical, backwards-ass platform in their party's history. Here are some of the most batshit planks that have been approved by committees, and that Republican delegates will vote to approve this week.

On pornography
"Pornography, with its harmful effects, especially on children, has become a public health crisis that is destroying the life of millions. We encourage states to continue to fight this public menace and pledge our commitment to children's safety and wellbeing."

On vaping
"The FDA needs to return to its traditional emphasis on hard science and approving breakthrough medicines rather than divert its attention and consume its resources trying to overregulate electronic health records or vaping."

On gender identification
The platform calls the Department of Justice's guidance on bathrooms an "edict to the states concerning restrooms, locker rooms, and other facilities" that is "at once illegal, ominous and ignores privacy issues. We salute the states which have filed suit against it."

On same-sex marriage
"Marriage remains the greatest antidote to child poverty."

"Every child deserves a married mom and dad."

"Children raised in a two-parent household tend to be physically and emotionally healthier, less likely to use drugs and alcohol, engage in crime or become pregnant outside of marriage."

"Our laws and our government regulations should recognize marriage as the union of one man and one woman and actively promote married family life as the basis of a stable and prosperous society."

"We do not accept the Supreme Court's redefinition of marriage and we urge its reversal, whether through judicial reconsideration or a constitutional amendment returning control over marriage to the states."

On health care
"Any honest agenda for improving healthcare must start with repeal of the dishonestly named Affordable Care Act of 2010: Obamacare. It weighs like a dead hand of the past upon American medicine. It imposed euro-style bureaucracy to manage its unworkable, budget-busting, conflicting provisions."

“A Republican president, on the first day in office, will use legitimate waiver authority under law to halt its advance and then, with the unanimous support of congressional Republicans, will sign its repeal.”

On human cloning
"We urge a ban on human cloning and on the creation of or experimentation on human embryos for research."

On the abortion pill and contraceptives
"We believe the FDA's approval of Mifeprex, a dangerous abortifacient formerly known as RU-486, threatens women's health, as does the Agency's endorsement of over-the-counter sales of powerful contraceptives without a physician's recommendation."

On the death penalty
"With the murder rate soaring in our great cities, we condemn the Supreme Court's erosion of the right of the people to enact capital punishment in their states."

On immigration
“We have in the past demanded, at our vulnerable borders, construction of a physical barrier and, at all points of entry, maximum vigilance."

On refugees
"To ensure our national security, refugees that cannot be carefully vetted, cannot be admitted to the country, especially those whose homelands have been the breeding grounds for terrorism."

On the IRS
"[The IRS] systematically targets conservative, pro-life, and libertarian organizations, harassing them with repeated audits and denying their tax-exempt status. Its commissioner has lied to Congress, hidden evidence and stonewalled investigations. He should be impeached by the House of Representatives."

On "PC culture" at colleges and universities
"We call on State officials to preserve our public colleges and universities as places of learning and the exchange of ideas, not zones of intellectual intolerance or 'safe zones,' as if college student [sic] need protection from the free exchange of ideas."

On federal land, and returning it to states
“Congress shall immediately pass universal legislation providing a timely and orderly mechanism requiring the federal government to convey certain federally controlled public lands to the states.” It further adds that the party calls on “all national and state leaders and representatives to exert their utmost power and influence to urge the transfer of those lands identified.”

On "man-made law"
“Man-made law must be consistent with God-given, natural rights.”

On the Bible in schools
The teaching of the Bible in public schools is "indispensable for the development of an educated citizenry.”