All the News That Fits. . . Bush Mired in International Love Triangle and More

  • From San Fransisco's beautiful Treasure Island, surrounded by Democrats, fog and the media, Schwarzenegger announces America's first cap on greenhouse gases. Blair, Pataki speak highly of the bill.
  • In an awkward-lookin' Rose Garden press conference, Bush begs reconciliation between Afghan and Pakistani Presidents, urging the combative world leaders to set aside their border beef and link up in the terror war. Neither gentlemen speak, or for that matter, match.
  • EU, Iranian negotiators meet up for an intense discussion on the renegade nation's nuclear plans. Behind the carrots, Condaleeza brandishes the stick of sanctions.
  • GM, Nissan, Renault flirt with the formation of an anti-Toyota alliance that, if realized, would account for 25 percent of vehicles sold globally.
  • Citing "lack of evidence, " Israeli court frees Palestine's deputy Prime Minister. (PS: That soldier is still being held.)
  • Bad News for the bored and morbid: You and your callous YouTubes will never see that video where the sting ray murders the Crocodile Hunter.

[With Rolling Stone]