Pope Benedict Resigns
Only weeks after using his Christmas address to condemn marriage equality as a "manipulation of nature," arch-conservative Benedict became the first pope in nearly 600 years to step down, explaining later, "God told me to."
Shell Abandons Arctic Drilling for 2013
After a series of dangerous mishaps while attempting to open Alaska's Beaufort and Chuckchi Seas to exploratory offshore drilling, Royal Dutch Shell announced that it would abandon any new attempts to spud wells during 2013. Walruses cheered.
Kentucky's Republican Senators Back Legal Hemp
In a sign of fading drug-war hysteria, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell joined his fellow Republican Kentucky Senator in publicly backing a legal hemp industry. "Allowing its production will be a positive development for Kentucky's farm families and economy," McConnell said.