Dec 13, 2005 12:00 AM

Arctic Monkeys, Gorillaz and King Kong

Though countless words were strewn this past weekend in memorium, we too would like to bid a sad buona notte to two Well Hung heroes, Richard Pryor and Eugene McCarthy, both of whose particular talents would come in quite handy right about now.

This sounds like something Dick Cheney thought up to torture "terrorists." Shit, we'd fess up to just about anything after just ten minutes of that kind of abuse!

Worst porn site ever. Don't get us wrong, we still managed to finish off (to Heather, if you must know), but nevertheless . . . We're doomed. Doomed, doomed, doomed.

That said, thank fuck for M'Lud Yatesbury, whose sacrilicious new Dark Orgasm rocks way harder than those babbling bible-thumpers currently pointing their Jebus vibes at the Supremes.

For those looking for a more traditional cuppa Copey, we heartily recommend the magical mind-bendiness of Misty's Big Adventure. No bout adout it, Grandmaster Gareth and his far-out Brummie nontet's new LP, The Black Hole, is the best Julian pastiche EVER.

Evan Rachel Wood is Neronica Bars!

Just so's you know, Arctic Monkeys are just the tip of the iceberg up there in Sheffield Sex City. Best of the bunch are Little Man Tate, guaranteed to light up 2006 and beyond with their quirk-pop tales of lonely bedhoppers, skinhead crossdressers, sexually ambivalent scenesters and smug-but-shite local bands. Trust us on this one -- this time next year you'll be bragging to your friends about how you knew Little Man Tate when.

First Florida, then Ohio, and now this. Can no one be trusted? Oh, the humanity and so forth.

Those filthy little angels at erm, Filthy Little Angels have just fired twenty-four free salvos in the Great War Against Christmas. Among the downloadable crackers found in this well-stuffed stocking are such WHAD faves as Angels Fight the City, the Bridge Gang and the ever-vicious Vichy Government (including a sly cover of the Long Blondes' classic "Christmas Is Cancelled"). And while you're there, grab up the Vichy's merry musical assassination, "Luke Haines Is Dead". Kill Yr Idols indeed . . .

Peter Jackson is Harold DeMuir!

Funny thing about parodies: sometimes the spoof -- in this case, Hep Alien -- is actually superior to the spoofee.

We'd like to wish a hearty "mazel tov" to Eddie Argos and Pee-Pee Chalets on their impending nuptials . . . Cartoon band fans, who like us, who still mourn late, great Pooh Sticks but are completely underwhelmed by the multi-culti wankorama of Gorillaz, can rejoice -- there's a new ink-and-paint indie combo to love. Meet the Close-Ups. Their superfizzy bubblepop makes us as happy as an ice-cold glass of chocolate milk on a Saturday morning. In 1969. Sigh. Good times . . .

Hard to believe it's been eleven years since Kathy McCarty's brilliant Dead Dog's Eyeball. She's finally back with a new record, and coincidentally, so is fellow Austinite Craig Ross. And no, we're not talking about Lenny Kravitz' guitarist. Sheesh, you know us better that that!

We here at WHAD begrudgingly endorse Lex Luthor in his race for the Kansas legislature. The Topeka state house seems a bit below his station, but we feel it's important to support the Democrat in this particular contest.

Where the F is Huw Pooh anyhow?

John Doyle's production of Sweeney Todd reminds us of seeing the Arcade Fire. Only, y'know, good.

Email Well Hung, and we'll spoil Kong for you.

[NOTE: The above are the opinions of Cohen and Krugman, and not necessarily those of the editors of Rolling Stone.]

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