Nov 03, 2005 12:00 AM

Reinterpreting Franz Ferdinand, taking cues from Robert Downey Jr.

Dunno about you, but Fitzmas felt a lot like regular Christmas for us. Even though we did get one pretty good present, the whole thing was a bit of a let-down. Here's hoping Ukranian Orthodox Fitzmas delivers the goods!

Like a phoenix rising up from the ashes, say hello to the Official Purveyors of Epic Romantic Rock & Roll to your Well Hung Majesties, the Visions. The name may have changed, but goddamned if Greg's gang doesn't still take our breath away!

Speaking of taking our breath away, three words: Lois. Lane. Bikini.

We're thinking these guys just might be the next Killers.

A.O. Scott on Kiss Kiss Bang Bang:

. . . a movie with no particular reason for existing, a flashy, trifling throwaway whose surface cleverness masks a self-infatuated credulity.

Ladies and Gentleman, meet WHAD's new advertising slogan!

"Two More Years" -- sounds suspiciously like a threat, though if it means no more Bloc Party in 2008, we can live with it . . . Gogol Bordello is Black 47.

It seemed a little odd at first, but really, when you think about it, Michael couldn't have been more appropriate, erm . . . "bed music" for World Series baseball.

Hang on . . . we're two-thirds of the way through Part I of John McPhee's article about coal transporters. Give us a sec.

Ok, we're back. Will this man give the second most annoying film performance of the year?

So which is it, the Saw Doctors or the Cure? We're so confused! We don't care, especially, but dammit, we've gots to know!

Fuck Rocky Balboa and Rambo IV -- we're holding out our Stallone shekels for Oscar II.

Why not just rename the damn show Alison Krauss City Limits already? Sheesh!

WHAD agrees with longtime reader Brent Bozell: The War at Home and American Dad just aren't very good.

"Created by Rod Lurie." How's that going, anyway? Truth be told, now that John Clark's on the show our Bochco/Commander-in-Chief jokes regarding Jimmy Smits and Sipowicz have dated. But we'd still like to say this, ever-so-hopefully: Gordon Clapp is the senator from Masschussetts!

Y'know, time was they wouldn't have split up a McPhee piece. Oh, this world of self infatuated credulity we live in! . . . And speaking of the New Yorker, that Joan Didion book sure sounds like laugh riot.

Two words: IPod. Porn.

Or better yet: Porno Podcasts.

Or . . . wait for it . . . Pudcasts!

The Weatherman: it's all downhill from the Ben Kweller tune in the commercial. Next season on The L Word: Shane bags Sheryl Swoopes . . . We'd throw a hump into Rachael Ray if it would shut her up. Then she could make us a delightful sandwich.

While we're definitely fond of the wacky new Burger King ad campaign, we're a little tweaked that they blatantly stole Michael's porn name for their new omelet sandwich. He's currently considering a copyright infringement suit.

Y'know, this is really starting to piss us off -- you do a Google search to find important information about women's curling, and instead you have to listen to The Constantines! Plus, we understand the Stills' next record will be called The Brier.

Ummmmmmhhhhhhhhhhh. Canadian donuts.

Ever notice that Jon Stewart's brilliant imitation of the President sounds just like Beavis? And remember: Butthead was the smart one.

Hard to decide what to hate most about Morningwood: their unlistenable music, their unwatchable -- to put it delicately -- chick singer or the fact that they had to buy their name off of a now-forgotten Austin band (just like Gomez!) . . . Fresca should never be anything but grapefruit-flavored.

Why won't that emasculating bitch in the Olive Garden commercials let her husband try all 47 pasta-sauce combos? (Other than the obvious: she's pissed he didn't take her to Macaroni Grill).

Man, have you taken a look at Black Francis lately? He's meatnormous. Bet he's also got an improbably hot sassy wife and a couple of smart-mouthed kids at home.

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[NOTE: The above are the opinions of Cohen and Krugman, and not necessarily those of the editors of Rolling Stone.]

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