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Six months after the death of her husband of thirty-two years -- country legend Waylon Jennings -- Jessi Colter finally allowed herself to grieve. Upon returning from a three-week European trip in 2002, the singer-songwriter found herself in the throes of solitude for the first time in her life. Looking out at the mountains that surround her Arizona home -- which she affectionately calls the "Rockin' JC Ranch" -- outlaw country's leading lady began writing her first solo album in twenty years.
"It was a major unhooking, and I had this great drive from the inside out to find expression," says Colter, 58. "After a loss like that, your emotions are frozen. As I chose to go forward and take on life, it bred in me a lot of questions like, 'What is this word 'widow'? I hate this word.' I learned it just means soul. I had to take a journey after being linked up with a cultural phenomenon like Waylon Jennings. So I decided to write as I lived."
Colter took her first songs to producer and friend Don Was (the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan) in Los Angeles. "I said, 'Don, what do you think it is I'm writing here?'" she recalls. "And he said, 'I don't know, but if you get ten of them, we'll record.' So I wrote songs on my grand piano and then took them in to record. It was something that happened out of need and love."
Due February 21st, Out of the Ashes is a collection of bittersweet reflections of a life passed and another reborn. Among the gospel-tinged roots-rock songs are the lilting "Out of the Rain," featuring Tony Joe White and a previously recorded vocal by Jennings, and a duet with their son (and new TV star) Shooter, on "Please Carry Me Home" -- originally written for Songs Inspired by the Passion of the Christ.
"Shooter and I working together was my very favorite," Colter says. "He's my guru. There's times his logic is so Waylon, I think, 'Who am I talking to?' I didn't lean on him on my down days, but when he caught me down -- and I couldn't really get up -- he said, 'Oh Mom, don't be down,' and he'd yell at me 'Jessi!' just like Waylon used to. It cracked me up and brought me out of it. It's been complex because I've never really been single."
Born Miriam Johnson (she changed her name in honor of her ancestor -- a train robber who rode with Frank and Jesse James), Colter left her hometown of Phoenix in her teens to join the backing band for Duane Eddy, whom she married and later divorced. She met Waylon in 1968, and the two married a year later. She signed to RCA and released her first album, A Country Star Is Born, in 1970. That same year, Colter had a hit with "Suspicious Minds," a duet with Waylon, and scored her own Number One with "I'm Not Lisa" in 1975. She's since released seven other studio albums, but says that she's only now discovering what it means to rock.
"I am totally fascinated with the cornerstones of rock, but I had just been listening, not out there hangin'," Colter says. "I was with Shooter in L.A. as he was doing the rock scene and I was finally excited by [the Rolling Stones'] Exile on Main Street; early Led Zeppelin, which I had never cared for; and AC/DC, which I never tapped into. I fell into a discovery mode, and I've been at it ever since."
Her exploration has led to a wealth of new material. Colter says that she's written two additional albums that will follow the release of Out of the Ashes, to be produced by Shooter and Patti Smith Group guitarist Lenny Kaye respectively.
Although she's progressing down her own path, Colter says the memory of her husband remains her fortress. "Waylon had a way of equalizing everything, whether it was the Ritz or Holiday Inn, he was the same," Colter recalls. "He taught me that there's still real men in the world and that you can have a great time in life and keep very youthful dreams. He never grew up. Had his body not gotten ahead of him, he'd still be around kicking butt somewhere. It was a wild ride, and I'd do it again."