Barbie Girls

If those flesh-and-blood interlopers in Aqua thought they had the last laugh in that lawsuit over the single "Barbie Girl," they'd better think again -- because Barbie herself has gone into the studio to wax a reply.

Actually, Barbie and her pals Teresa and Christie -- who've donned the rather salacious band moniker Beyond Pink -- don't address the silly Swedes at all on their self-titled debut (which will be released by Sony in mid-October). Instead, they take a cue from their fellow plastic distaffers in the Spice Girls, offering up tales of pre-pubescent empowerment and the pleasures of girliness.

Naturally, the disc (which mixes originals such as "Boys Will Be Boys" and "You Are the Universe -- going "We Are the World" one better -- with covers like the Turtles' "Happy Together") offers a chance for Mattel to foist a whole new line of pulchritudinous, skin-flashing dolls on impressionable girls everywhere. The dolls will come complete with glow-in-the-dark hair and fake musical instruments (much like every other band on the charts these days).

Beyond Pink won't be touring anytime in the near future, but we wouldn't bet against them taking a shot at acting -- after all, Pamela Anderson proved that women made mostly of plastic have a great shot in Hollywood.

DAVID SPRAGUE